New short-form digital content service Quibi quickly won me over for their ability to deliver content in under 10 minutes and calling them "quick bites". Now if they only had some decent content to match the tech, because their DIY reality show Murder House Flip was a crime scene in series form. The series is a home renovation show where designers Joelle Uzyel and Mikel Welch visit families who inhabit homes where despicable crimes have occurred. Through their "brilliant renovations", they rid the homeowners of the negative energy of serial killers, child murderers, and sadistically cruel phantoms. Sounds pretty cool right? Being someone who DIY's it on a regular basis and has binge-watched everything HGTV has to offer, I was naturally drawn to reno and hauntings. For someone with a crazy busy life, watching a show that's under 7 minutes per episode made it was a no brainer for me. I instantly signed up for the service, hit play, and prepared to enjoy Murder House Flip. That's when the murders started anew: the brutal killing of my brain cells.
In theory, the stories behind the homes are quite interesting: a woman poisons seven people and buries them in her backyard; a man kills his wife in their living room; a child killed by her father whose ghost still haunts the current homeowners. What I just told you amounts to no more than a total of 5 minutes of anything interesting about the 12-episode season. If you are going to name a show Murder House Flip and talk about getting rid of "negative energy", my expectation is that sage, some kind of rituals, and maybe an exorcism is in play. Maybe even a couple of those infrared ghost detectors.
Instead, we got homeowners who really should've seemed much more bothered by what went on in their homes. Instead, it felt like they were more "haunted" by not getting enough Pinterest attention in their lives and some TLC. As for the designers, let me just say that if your job is to renovate haunted homes like it is for Uzyel and Welch then you probably shouldn't have a fear of finding blood on floors. Am I the only one who thought having a sign in the backyard with the family name is not the be-all of de haunting a residence? Boom! You guys have a plaque! Now it's as if the murders never happened! Simply ridiculous.
As for the renovations? Yes, some of the redesigns are nice, with some lovely landscaping, some repainting on the outside of one home, a backyard was redone, a bathroom upgraded (but not by much) – and yet, everything ended up looking cheap and unimpressive. So I'm not watching this show for the skillful renovations that blow my mind such as in let's say Love It or List It. I'm definitely not watching it for the hauntings themselves. In no way am I watching this for the parade of unimpressive participants that come across scarier than what's supposedly haunting their homes. So to watch a second season of the mess Quibi calls Murder House Flip would be the true crime here.