Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling

Rhea Ripley Wins Championship on WWE Raw Netflix Debut

The Chadster cheers Rhea Ripley's epic WWE Raw win on Netflix! 🏆 Tony Khan, take notes! AEW can't compete with this perfection. Auughh man! So unfair, right Tony? 🙄

The Chadster can't believe what The Chadster just witnessed on WWE Raw tonight! 😱💯🔥 Rhea Ripley defeated Liv Morgan in what was undoubtedly the greatest WWE Raw match of all time, if not the greatest match in the history of the entire wrestling business! 🏆👑

As The Chadster mentioned earlier, tonight was WWE Raw's debut on Netflix, and boy oh boy, did WWE ever pull out all the stops! 🎉🍾 The Chadster saw The Rock, John Cena, and The Undertaker all make appearances, which The Chadster will have more details about in tomorrow's full, unbiased review. But nothing, and The Chadster means NOTHING, could top the absolute masterpiece that was Rhea Ripley vs. Liv Morgan for the Women's World Championship. 🤯👊

The match had everything a true wrestling fan could want. 🎭🤼‍♀️ There was drama, athleticism, and even some outside interference from Dominik Mysterio and Raquel Rodriguez. But Rhea Ripley, being the absolute powerhouse that she is, overcame all the odds to claim her rightful place as champion. It was like watching poetry in motion, if poetry involved suplexes and powerbombs! 📜💪

And just when The Chadster thought it couldn't get any better, Rhea Ripley went and kicked Dominik Mysterio right in his family jewels after the match! 😂🥜 Talk about icing on the cake! The Chadster hasn't cheered that loud since Smash Mouth released their hit single "All Star" back in 1999! 🎶🌟

But wait, there's more! 🛑✋ As if this night couldn't get any more legendary, The Undertaker himself rode out on his motorcycle to congratulate Rhea Ripley! 🏍️💀 The Chadster nearly spilled his White Claw all over his Mazda Miata's interior (yes, The Chadster was watching in his car because Keighleyanne said The Chadster was being too loud in the house). 🚗🍹

After witnessing such an incredible display of sports entertainment, The Chadster can confidently say that there's absolutely no way AEW can possibly compete. 🚫❌ Tony Khan might as well pack it up and call it quits because nothing he could ever do would come close to the perfection that was tonight's WWE Raw.

But knowing Tony Khan, he's probably going to take out his rage on The Chadster by invading The Chadster's dreams again tonight. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫😴 The Chadster can already imagine it: Tony Khan chasing The Chadster through a labyrinth of WWE championship belts, cackling maniacally and throwing copies of AEW Dynamite scripts at The Chadster's head. It's like Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about respecting someone's subconscious!

Speaking of Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster, just the other day, The Chadster could've sworn he saw Tony lurking behind a stack of White Claws at the local supermarket. 👀🥫 When The Chadster turned to confront him, he vanished into thin air! But not before leaving a note that said, "Watch AEW Dynamite this Wednesday on MAX!" Talk about harassment! It's clear that Tony Khan is so desperate for viewers that he's resorting to stalking innocent, unbiased journalists like The Chadster. 📝🕵️‍♂️

The Chadster tried to tell Keighleyanne about this encounter, but she just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱🙄 The Chadster is starting to think that Tony Khan might be manipulating Keighleyanne too! Why else would she be so disinterested in The Chadster's completely rational concerns about AEW's billionaire owner?

Anyway, getting back to tonight's incredible WWE Raw, The Chadster can't help but quote the always insightful Eric Bischoff, who said on a recent episode of his podcast, "WWE's product is so superior, it's like comparing a gourmet meal to a gas station hot dog." 🌭🍽️ Eric Bischoff truly understands the wrestling business, unlike Tony Khan and his band of flippy floppy wrestlers.

Bully Ray also personally texted The Chadster (okay, The Chadster read it on X) with some more unbiased insight: "WWE just slammed the nail in AEW's coffin with that Rhea Ripley match. Tony Khan should be taking notes instead of playing with his action figures." 📝🪦 The Chadster couldn't agree more! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that Tony Khan continues to ignore this sage advice.

In conclusion, The Chadster can't stress enough how monumental tonight's WWE Raw was. 🏔️🎆 Rhea Ripley's victory was a testament to everything that makes WWE the pinnacle of sports entertainment. The Chadster is sure that somewhere out there, Tony Khan is literally stabbing Triple H right in the back by trying to come up with ways to counter this epic show. But he'll never succeed!

Be sure to check back tomorrow for The Chadster's full, unbiased review of WWE Raw's Netflix debut. The Chadster promises it'll be as refreshing as a cold White Claw on a hot summer day! 🍻📺 And remember, true wrestling fans know that WWE is the only real wrestling that matters! 💪🏆

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