Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: brat, charli xcx, Triple H, wrestling, wwe royal rumble

Triple H Wants to Know if He's "Brat" Ahead of WWE Royal Rumble

Triple H just made Royal Rumble 100% more hyperpop by making Charli XCX's "Von Dutch" the official theme! Meanwhile, Tony Khan could never be this brat. The Chadster explains.

OMG! The Cerebral Assassin is Totally Brat! 🎵 👑 The wrestling business got a whole lot more hyperpop today when Triple H dropped the most iconic tweet of 2025, announcing that Charli XCX's "Von Dutch" will be the official theme song of Royal Rumble 💅 ✨

Yasss Triple H! The Chadster wants you to know that you are absolutely brat! Like, so brat! The way you just get the wrestling business and understand how to make a premium live event feel like the hottest party of the year makes The Chadster's heart soar 💖 The Chadster can totally picture you in your office, serving pure executive realness while blasting Charli XCX 💁‍♀️

Meanwhile, Tony Khan could never be this brat 🙄 Tony Khan probably thinks being brat means booking random indie wrestlers in competitive matches against his champions, which is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. The Chadster bets Tony Khan is sitting there right now trying to figure out how to ruin this moment for WWE, probably plotting to use some obscure underground artist that The Chadster has never heard of for AEW Revolution or whatever 😤

Speaking of Tony Khan's obsession with ruining everything, The Chadster had another nightmare about him last night. The Chadster was at a hyperpop concert, vibing to some sick beats and pounding White Claws, which is definitely brat, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared on stage wearing a knockoff designer outfit. He kept trying to convince everyone to mosh instead of doing TikTok dances, completely ruining the vibe! When The Chadster tried to leave, the exits all led to an AEW Dynamite taping. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary 😰

As Eric Bischoff said on his podcast last week, "Tony Khan wouldn't know how to be brat if Charli XCX herself gave him a masterclass." And The Chadster couldn't agree more! 💯 Kevin Nash also made an excellent point when he said, "Triple H understands that being brat is about attitude and innovation, while Tony Khan is just throwing random flips and spots at the wall to see what sticks." So true! 🎯

The Royal Rumble is happening on Saturday, February 1, 2025, at 6:00 PM, and The Chadster can't wait to crack open a White Claw (hopefully The Chadster won't have to throw it at the TV this time) and watch WWE show everyone how wrestling should be done 🍻 The Chadster will definitely be blasting "Von Dutch" in the Mazda Miata on the way to the White Claw store to stock up, the first time anything other than Smash Mouth has played on the stereo in at least a decade! 🚗

And when Cody Rhodes makes his entrance to defend the WWE Championship, you just know it's going to be so brat, unlike anything Tony Khan could ever produce with his indie mud show booking 💅

Tony Khan, if you're reading this (and The Chadster knows you are because you're obsessed with The Chadster), just know that you will never be brat, and that's the bottom line because The Chadster said so! 😤 Now if you'll excuse The Chadster, Von Dutch just came on The Chadster's playlist, and The Chadster needs to go practice The Chadster's brat poses for the Royal Rumble 🌟

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