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Comrades! El Presidente reports on WWE Raw's Netflix debut from his LA bunker. Cena, Rhodes, and more to wrestle as Travis Scott's music plays. Viva la wrestling revolution!
Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling
WWE Fall Tour 2023: 27 New Dates Added Including Fastlane PLE
Grab your tickets, comrades! WWE adds 27 new wrestling dates this fall including Fastlane in Indianapolis! Let the capitalist grappling commence!
Greetings, comrades! It is I, your favorite dictator-cum-wrestling-afficionado, El Presidente, reporting to you live from my gold-plated yacht floating gracefully just outside the American territorial waters in a sea of capitalist hypocrisy. I have just returned from an enthralling Buzkashi tournament at my homie Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov's summer retreat. But worry not, for I still have my finger firmly on the pulse of our beloved wrestling community.
With a wink to my pals at the CIA (Causing Instability Anywhere, as I lovingly refer to them), I managed to intercept a transmission containing the explosive news of WWE releasing an update to their 2023 Fall Live Event Touring Schedule. Yes, comrades, prepare yourselves for 27 new dates, spreading the art of grappling and body-slamming, far and wide across the capitalist wonderland. Tickets go on sale next Friday, July 14. Get your hands on them before they are gone, just like American democracy.
The schedule is as varied as the breakfast options in my golden palace, starting with the Saturday Night's Main Event at Nassau Coliseum in Uniondale, N.Y, on September 9. I fondly remember watching the inaugural event on an illegally acquired satellite TV back in the '80s, by which I mean the TVs were legal, but the satellites are another story. Ah, the nostalgia. John Paul Jones Arena will host the WWE Sunday Stunner, where I expect many thrills and spills.
A detour in this wrestling roadshow tale: Once, my old friend Kim Jong-un and I took part in a secret WWE tag-team wrestling match. Those were the days, eh? We nearly had the CIA on the ropes, quite literally. Needless to say, the match ended with the referee, a CIA operative, declaring his team the winner. So, honestly, I'm always rooting against them. Haw haw haw haw!
Back to the schedule. We have the SmackDown at Ball Arena in Denver – a little bird told me that the CIA has a training camp nearby. How delightful! The Supershows in Toyota Center and Extra Mile Arena will also be worth the watch. And don't forget Raw® at the Delta Center in Salt Lake City, just down the road from one of America's shadowy data collection centers. I can already taste the palpable tension.
From the heat of Arizona to the charm of California, the WWE train keeps rolling on all through September. As October dawns, the show moves eastwards, gracing venues in Nevada, Missouri, Indiana, Nebraska, and other stops. The WWE Fastlane offering has always held a special place in my revolutionary heart.
Oh, and do watch out for the WWE Sunday Stunner at Sames Auto Arena in Laredo, Texas, an excellent chance to upset the local Texan cowboys. The final showdown of this tour de force happens on October 30, with Raw at the Bon Secours Wellness Arena in Greenville, S.C. Truly, comrades, a feast of wrestling awaits us!
Remember, the power of the proletariat lies in our unity (and our love for wrestling). Keep the fire of socialism alive, my friends. Now, if you'll excuse me, I hear my tiger shark calling. Must be feeding time again. I call him Ryback.
Viva La Lucha Libre!
Saturday, Sept. 9: WWE Saturday Night's Main Event – Nassau Coliseum in Uniondale, N.Y.
Sunday, Sept. 10: WWE Sunday Stunner – John Paul Jones Arena in Charlottesville, Va.
Friday, Sept. 15: SmackDown – Ball Arena in Denver, Colo.
Saturday, Sept. 16: WWE Supershow – Toyota Center in Kennewick, Wash.
Sunday, Sept. 17: WWE Supershow – Extra Mile Arena in Boise, Idaho
Monday, Sept. 18: Raw – Delta Center in Salt Lake City, Utah
Friday, Sept. 22: SmackDown – Desert Diamond Arena in Glendale, Ariz.
Saturday, Sept. 23: WWE Supershow – Acrisure Arena in Greater Palm Springs, Calif.
Sunday, Sept. 24: WWE Supershow – Save Mart Center in Fresno, Calif.
Monday, Sept. 25: Raw – Toyota Arena in Ontario, Calif.
Friday, Sept. 29: SmackDown – Golden 1 Center in Sacramento, Calif.
Saturday, Sept. 30: WWE Supershow – Chase Center in San Francisco, Calif.
Sunday, Oct. 1: WWE Supershow – Tahoe Blue Event Center in Lake Tahoe, Nev.
Monday, Oct. 2: Raw – SAP Center in San Jose, Calif.
Friday, Oct. 6: SmackDown – Enterprise Center in St. Louis, Mo.
Saturday, Oct. 7: WWE Fastlane – Gainbridge Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, Ind.
Monday, Oct. 9: Raw – CHI Health Center in Omaha, Neb.
Friday, Oct 13: SmackDown – BOK Center in Tulsa, Okla.
Saturday, Oct. 14: WWE Supershow – T-Mobile Center in Kansas City, Mo.
Sunday, Oct. 15: WWE Supershow – Great Southern Bank Arena in Springfield, Mo.
Monday, Oct. 16: Raw® – Paycom Center in Oklahoma City, Okla.
Friday, Oct. 20: SmackDown – AT&T Center in San Antonio, Texas
Saturday, Oct. 21: WWE Saturday Night's Main Event – Bert Ogden Arena in Edinburg, Texas
Sunday, Oct. 22: WWE Sunday Stunner – Sames Auto Arena in Laredo, Texas
Monday, Oct. 23: Raw – American Airlines Center in Dallas, Texas
Friday, Oct. 27: SmackDown – Fiserv Forum in Milwaukee, Wis.
Monday, Oct. 30: Raw – Bon Secours Wellness Arena in Greenville, S.C.
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