WWE Raw Report – Randy Orton Paints a Picture in the Mind's Eye

In the first part of Bleeding Cool's WWE Monday Night Raw report, Randy Orton cuts a promo, Asuka carries a lot of dead weight, and MVP makes Ricochet an offer he shouldn't refuse. Welcome to Bleeding Cool's weekly WWE Raw report, where we watch this crap, so you don't have to.

The official logo for WWE Monday Night Raw. Credit: WWE.
The official logo for WWE Monday Night Raw. Credit: WWE.

WWE Raw Report for October 5, 2020 Part 1

Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, and Samoa Joe welcome us to Monday Night Raw and run through the card real quick, which consists of a six-man tag and the KO show because WWE doesn't actually book matches before the show. They just wait for the wrestlers to show up to work and pick fights with each other.

Randy Orton talks about his match against Drew McIntyre at Clash of Champions. He left in an ambulance, but he remembers all the legends interfering to attack him. Then he lost consciousness. He saw nothing but complete darkness. He felt nothing but excruciating pain. Then, the next night on Raw, Drew McIntyre celebrated in the ring with those legends. It makes him sick. They laughed at Randy. They played poker backstage and toasted with the Street Profits. But with every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. After the actions of Big Show, Christian, Ric Flair, and Shawn Michaels, Randy was obligated to reintroduce them to the Legend Killer. He needed to guarantee they saw and felt everything he felt when the ambulance door closed. That's why he turned off the lights, and totally not so everyone could lie on the floor and pretend they were beaten up without Randy having to touch them. Randy describes the fictional situation that he claims happened while the lights are out in detail. The Big Show supposedly fought back, but Randy put him through the poker table. Christian was looking around for help, but Randy snuck up to him, whispered, "say hi to edge for me," and dropped him. Shawn Michaels grabbed the chair he was sitting in to hit Randy with it, but Randy took it and kicked his skull in. Ric Flair tried to escape, made it to the door, and Randy put his hand on Ric's shoulder. He turned around and met his fate. Randy wishes he could have seen Drew McIntyre's reaction when he saw the carnage. But the bill still hasn't been paid in full, and won't be until Randy is WWE Champion. This isn't over until he says it's over. Drew McIntyre still has hell to pay.

Now Randy talks directly to Drew McIntyre. He says that if Drew wants to cement his legacy as WWE Champion, he needs to give Randy one more match inside Hell in a Cell. Drew finds Randy in the room he's filming in. They fight. Drew kicks Randy's ass until Adam Pearce and a bunch of officials pull him off. Randy runs away.

I don't know why Adam Pearce suddenly has such a prominent roll on both Raw and Smackdown. Did people really miss an "authority" figure that badly? But even if they did, does anyone take Pearce seriously as an authority figure? He looks like the target audience for those Nugenix commercials they're always playing during Raw.

Zelina Vega is in the ring, getting ready for a six-woman tag team match because WWE literally has no plans for Raw. The draft is next week, and they just need to fill the time until then. Natalya and Lana come out, her teammates. Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke come out, then Asuka. It's a match. Yay!

Zelina Vega, Lana, and Natalya vs. Asuka, Mandy Rose, and Dana Brooke

  • Savage vs. Steamboat. Hart vs. Austin. Hogan vs. Andre. Bret vs. Owen. Michaels vs. Undertaker. And to those all-time classic WWE matches, add Vega, Lana, and Natalya vs. Asuka, Mandy, and Dana.
  • Just kidding; this is a waste of time.
  • Luckily, it's not a waste of a lot of time. Asuka gets the hot tag after a few minutes of Mandy getting beat down. Then Mandy tags in to hit Lana with a knee strike and pin her.

There's gonna be a lot of this kind of thing until the draft is over, isn't there?

Shayna Baszler and Nia Jax come out after the match, like Donald Trump leaving Walter Reed Hospital and assault Lana and Natalya. For the third time, Lana gets put through the announce table by Lana. That'll teach her to be married to a guy who left for AEW! Raw takes a commercial break.

R-Truth talks to Little Jimmy. He has a whiteboard, and he's done a mock draft with humorous entries. Behind him, a janitor in a mask is mopping the floor. A ref comes up, and the janitor tries to hit him with a mop, but Truth ducks, shouting "Randy Orton" because Orton was dressed as a janitor last week. But when Truth runs away, he trips on the mop bucket, and the janitor pulls him, revealing himself to be Marvel Comics writer Fabian Nicieza! No, wait, it's Drew Gulak. Gulak leaves with the 24/7 title.

MVP approaches Apollo Crews, Muhammad Ali, and Ricochet backstage. Ali says MVP is here to give an excuse for why Ali pinned him last week. MVP says they can win the occasional match, but they never win the fight. He tells them that with the draft coming up, their careers could change in a second. He says that the draft starts on Friday, but tonight, for one night only, he has an opening in the Hurt Business for all three of them. He walks off. Ricochet looks like he's considering it. And why wouldn't he? Hanging out with Crews and Ali isn't getting him anywhere.

Seth Rollins comes out with Murphy. What Jerry Springer Show plot will be ripped off tonight? Find out after some commercials, and in part two of our Raw report.

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About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!
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