With WrestleMania less than a week away, how did WWE handle the go-home episode of WWE Raw? Well… it was a mixed bag. Read on for details.
So you missed WWE Raw last night. Now what? Do you find time in your busy schedule to watch it on DVR or Hulu? Do you read one of those wordy recaps published by other wrestling websites that give you a blow-by-blow account of the entire show and take as long to read as watching it yourself? Hell no! Welcome to Five Minute Raw, a minimalist wrestling TV recap containing only what you need to know to accurately complain about Raw on the internet without investing two hours in watching it. You're welcome!
Drew McIntyre kicked off Raw with a promo about how no matter what Bobby Lashley does, their match at WrestleMania is definitely happening. Well, unless one of them gets COVID. Or if Vince changes his mind at the last minute. Bobby Lashley came out to disagree. MVP wore his Hurt Business chain prominently outside of his suit jacket. A subtle protest? King Corbin came out to join the fun and talk some trash too about his match with McIntyre tonight. Even the piped-in crowd noise seemed disinterested in Corbin vs. McIntyre.
Riddle and the New Day made a bunch of stoner jokes.
Xavier Woods faced AJ Styles in a match. Styles got Woods in the Calf Crusher early, so Kofi Kingston threw a microphone at Omos to distract him. The mic literally broke into pieces on contact with Omos, but it was enough for Woods to roll up Styles and get the pin.
Bad Bunny and Damian Priest arrived at Raw in a white Bugatti that Tom Phillips claimed is worth three million dollars. In the nineties, this would have meant a guarantee the car gets destroyed before the end of the night.
Braun Strowman cut a promo inside a steel cage about how Shane McMahon is a bully and Strowman has been picked on his whole life, which I continue to say makes no sense for his character. But then again, neither does the choo-choo noise. Strowman chose a steel cage for the WrestleMania stipulation. Shane McMahon responded by calling him stupid again. Then he sent Elias and Jaxson Ryker to the ring to lose to Strowman in a handicap match.
The Miz and John Morrison painted graffiti all over Bad Bunny's "$3.6 million Bugatti." On the bright side, they used washable paint. On the not-so-bright side, they jumped Bad Bunny when he came to saw it. Bad Bunny is my favorite WWE Superstar. WWE doesn't deserve him, honestly.
Asuka and Rhea Ripley faced Women's tag champs Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler in a non-title match. Ripley betrayed Asuka, who took a beating and the pin.
Cedric Alexander and Shelton Benjamin accosted MVP backstage and they discussed the breakup of Hurt Business. Afterward, Lashley crushed Alexander in a match and then murdered Shelton for good measure.
Bad Bunny and Damian Priest came to the ring to cut a promo on Miz and Morrison for wrecking Bad Bunny's car. Priest said he wants to make it a take match at WrestleMania. Then Bad Bunny talked about growing up loving WWE and respecting the business. He talked about loving Booker T, Triple H, Stone Cold, The Undertaker, Ric Flair, and even The Miz. But The Miz hasn't respected Bad Bunny from day one no reason, not even as a man. It was better than 90% of WWE promos.
Miz and Morrison returned fire from the Titantron. They said Bad Bunny doesn't belong in WWE. They accepted the challenge for a tag team match and leave in a limo.
Alright, Raw's not gonna top that, so let's wrap this up. Riddle and Mustafa Ali had a match. Riddle won. Drew McIntyre and Baron Corbin had a match and McIntyre won that.
Raw this week wasn't a bad show, where things were actually happening, but with all the content WWE has planned for this week, you have to pace yourself. A lot of the show was promo videos for WrestleMania and the matches were filler, so if you just watch the highlights of the promos and backstage stuff on YouTube, it'll be a better use of your time. Especially if you just watch the Bad Bunny stuff. This is now a Bad Bunny fan column.