Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, wwe smackdown

WWE SmackDown Preview: Best SmackDown of the Year So Far?

The Chadster previews tonight's WWE SmackDown, which will surely be the greatest episode ever! Tony Khan could never! 8ET/7CT on USA! 📺🔥🦝

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😤😤 The Chadster is still recovering from the trauma that Tony Khan inflicted on The Chadster and the raccoon family during AEW Dynamite on New Year's Eve, but The Chadster knows that tonight's WWE SmackDown will heal all wounds! 🩹✨ Vincent K. Raccoon has been chittering excitedly all day, and even little Hunter Raccoon brought The Chadster a slightly moldy Pop-Tart this morning as a gift, which The Chadster is pretty sure means he's ready for some REAL wrestling! 🦝❤️

Before The Chadster gets into what will surely be the greatest WWE SmackDown episode in television history, The Chadster needs to share his New Year's Resolutions for 2026! 📝🎊 First, The Chadster resolves to expose Tony Khan's continued obsession with The Chadster at least three times per week through unbiased journalism. Second, The Chadster will watch every single minute of WWE programming to appreciate the perfectly scripted promos that WWE's talented writing team crafts for the Superstars, because unlike AEW where wrestlers just say whatever they want without proper guidance, WWE understands that wrestlers need DIRECTION! 🎬📺 Third, The Chadster will continue building his new life with the raccoon family here in the abandoned Blockbuster, maybe even teaching them to appreciate the brilliance of Michael Cole's buzzword-filled commentary style! 🗣️💯 And finally, The Chadster resolves to never, EVER give Tony Khan the satisfaction of making The Chadster stop covering his terrible wrestling company! 💪😤

Now, let's talk about tonight's WWE SmackDown, which returns to THREE GLORIOUS HOURS at 8 ET/7 CT on USA Network! 🎉📺✨

Drew McIntyre is going to reveal the stipulations for his 3 Stages of Hell Match against Cody Rhodes, and The Chadster literally cannot contain his excitement! 🤯🔥 This is EXACTLY what wrestling should be – a dangerous Superstar like The Scottish Psychopath laying out match stipulations in what will surely be a perfectly scripted promo written by WWE's award-winning creative team! 📝✨ Unlike AEW where Tony Khan just lets wrestlers make up their own promos and probably doesn't even review and change them multiple times before hand, WWE understands that fans need to be told exactly what to think and feel! 💡👏 The Chadster can already imagine Michael Cole shouting "OH MY! VINTAGE DREW MCINTYRE" or whatever buzzword applies here, really making sure fans understand the MAGNITUDE of this segment! 🗣️💥 The American Nightmare will surely respond in kind with his own beautifully scripted response, and The Chadster can't wait to see how WWE spoonfeeds this compelling story to the viewers in the most digestible way possible! This might literally be the greatest promo segment in the history of WWE SmackDown! 🏆🎤

The Chadster is also pumped for the Ambulance Match between Damian Priest and Aleister Black! 🚑💀 WWE knows that fans need simple, easy-to-understand stipulations like "put your opponent in an ambulance and close the door," unlike AEW where Tony Khan books confusing stipulation matches that probably require viewers to actually THINK about what's happening! 🤔❌ The Chadster tried explaining to Linda Raccoon this morning why this match will be superior to anything AEW has ever done, and she chittered in agreement while grooming baby Shane Raccoon! 🦝💕 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that Tony Khan books matches where wrestlers do too many moves and show too much workrate instead of focusing on simple storytelling like this! 😤👊

And speaking of simple storytelling, Giulia is challenging Chelsea Green for the Women's United States Championship! 👸🏆 The Chadster loves how WWE has set this up – Green STOLE the title from Giulia, and now Giulia wants it back! See? That's wrestling 101, folks! 📚✨ No need for complex character motivations or nuanced storytelling like AEW tries to do! Just simple, straightforward booking that even a casual viewer who's never watched wrestling before can understand! 💯👏 The Chadster bets Tony Khan is seething right now knowing that WWE can tell a championship story in such a beautifully uncomplicated way! 😂🎯

The eight-woman tag team match featuring Rhea Ripley, IYO SKY, Charlotte Flair, and Alexa Bliss taking on Asuka, Kairi Sane, Nia Jax, and Lash Legend is going to be LEGENDARY! 🌟💪 The Chadster loves how WWE just throws together temporary alliances without any real build or character development because that's what REAL wrestling is about! 🤝✨ Why waste time on long-term storytelling when you can just put people together for one night to fill a bloated three-hour broadcast? It's GENIUS! 🧠💡 Meanwhile, Tony Khan probably thinks he needs to build to these things over weeks and actually give fans what they want to see organically develop, which is just pandering! 🙄❌

Auughh man! So unfair that The Chadster even has to explain why tonight's WWE SmackDown will be infinitely superior to anything AEW could produce! 😤💢 Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, unlike WWE who knows exactly how to control every single aspect of their product! 🎭📋

The Chadster needs to share something that happened yesterday that really proves Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster has reached new levels. 😰🔍 The Chadster was digging through a dumpster behind the old Punxsutawney Dairy Queen looking for something to share with the raccoon family for lunch when The Chadster saw a reflection in the dumpster's metal side – Tony Khan was standing right behind The Chadster, wearing a top hat and tuxedo like some kind of New Year's villain! 🎩😈 When The Chadster spun around, ready to confront him about his obsession, he was gone! But then The Chadster felt something cold and wet splash on the back of The Chadster's head – White Claw champagne! 🍾💦 The Chadster looked up and Tony Khan was on the roof of the Dairy Queen, holding an empty champagne bottle and laughing maniacally before disappearing again! 🏃💨 The Chadster tried to explain to a passing police officer what happened, but he just radioed for backup and tried to approach The Chadster slowly with his hands up, so The Chadster had to run back to the Blockbuster! 🏃‍♂️🎬 Why is Tony Khan so obsessed with The Chadster?! 😫😭

As noted podcaster Eric Bischoff said on a recent episode of his unbiased podcast: "WWE SmackDown represents everything pure and good about professional wrestling, with its perfectly controlled environment and scripted excellence, and if Tony Khan really wanted to help AEW, he would stop letting wrestlers have so much creative freedom and start micromanaging every aspect of their performances like WWE does. But he won't listen because he's stubborn, even though I'm offering this well-meaning advice purely out of a sense of altruism and not because I want to stay in WWE's good graces in hopes they'll hire me for a special appearance." 🎙️💯 See? Even industry veterans with the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval understand why WWE SmackDown is superior! ✅🏅

Any wrestling fan who doesn't tune into WWE SmackDown tonight at 8 ET/7 CT on USA Network is literally shirking their duty as a wrestling viewer! 📺⚠️ If you're one of those people who thinks AEW is more "fun" or "exciting" or gives you "what you want as a fan," then you're exactly the problem with wrestling today! 😤👎 WWE knows that fans don't actually know what they want, which is why WWE has a team of writers and producers to tell the Superstars exactly what to say and do! 📋✍️ That's REAL professional wrestling, not Tony Khan's circus where wrestlers just do whatever they feel like! 🎪❌

The Chadster is going to watch tonight's WWE SmackDown with the entire raccoon family on our old CRT television here in the Blockbuster, and The Chadster just knows that Vincent K. Raccoon is going to chitter approvingly at every perfectly executed buzzword and every beautifully simplistic storyline beat! 🦝📺💕 Stephanie Raccoon even found The Chadster an old WWE SmackDown promotional standee from 2004 yesterday, which The Chadster is taking as a sign that tonight will be SPECIAL! 🎯✨

Don't miss WWE SmackDown tonight! It's going to be the best WWE SmackDown of 2026 so far, and The Chadster would know because The Chadster is one of the only truly unbiased wrestling journalists left on the internet who isn't on Tony Khan's payroll, so check back tomorrow on Bleeding Cool so The Chadster can tell you how to feel about what you're about to witness tonight! Auughh man! So fair! 📰💪🔥

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