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AEW Dynamite Preview: Don't Take a Detour on the Road to WrestleMania

The Chadster previews tonight's AEW Dynamite and explains why watching it would be so disrespectful to WWE. Even the raccoons are stressed! 🦝😤💢

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Article Summary

  • AEW Dynamite is ruining wrestling with free title matches and complex storylines that disrespect WWE tradition.
  • Tony Khan's booking leaves raccoons and true wrestling fans stressed out and feeling betrayed, auughh man!
  • AEW lets wrestlers like Thunder Rosa and Hangman Page look strong, totally disrespecting WWE brand consistency.
  • Watching AEW Dynamite only encourages Tony Khan’s vendetta and undermines everything WWE has built!

Auughh man! So unfair! 😫💢 The Chadster is literally shaking right now as The Chadster types this AEW Dynamite preview from inside the abandoned Blockbuster Video that has become The Chadster's home. 🏚️📼 Tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite is scheduled to air at 8 p.m. ET/7 p.m. CT on TBS and streaming on HBO Max, and The Chadster can already feel the psychic pain radiating from El Paso, Texas, where Tony Khan is preparing to absolutely cheese The Chadster off once again. 😤🤬

A vibrant promotional graphic for the AEW Dynamite wrestling event. It features the AEW Dynamite logo prominently, along with details about the showtime and airing network.
Tune in for AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7c on TBS and HBO Max!

The raccoons have been acting really weird all day. 🦝😰🐾 Vincent K. Raccoon keeps pacing back and forth in front of the TV, chittering nervously, while Linda Raccoon has been gathering extra trash in what The Chadster can only assume is stress-hoarding behavior. 🦝💔 Hunter Raccoon, Stephanie Raccoon, and Shane Raccoon haven't even touched the half-eaten Taco Bell quesadilla that their father Vincent K. Raccoon brought home this morning. They're all just huddled together in the corner, their little raccoon eyes wide with fear. 😢😭 Tony Khan isn't just ruining The Chadster's life anymore – now he's inflicting psychological torture on innocent woodland creatures! Does Tony Khan have no shame?! 🤬😡💢😠

A promotional graphic for AEW Dynamite featuring two wrestlers. On the left is MJF, the AEW World Champion, and on the right is Kevin Knight, the AEW World Trios Champion, both holding their championship belts.
AEW Dynamite promo graphic/Credit: AEW

Tonight's AEW Dynamite will kick off with AEW World Champion MJF defending his title against "The Jet" Kevin Knight, and The Chadster is already annoyed just thinking about it. 😠😤 You see, Tony Khan is putting a championship match on regular television instead of saving it for a premium live event where the Saudi Arabian government could properly fund and benefit from the spectacle! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. WWE knows that championships should only change hands at major events, not on free TV where anyone can just watch without paying! And knowing Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster, he'll probably book this match to have a fast-paced, exciting style with lots of athletic moves and momentum shifts that don't leave proper room for the announcers to repeat catchphrases or go to commercial breaks at the perfect psychological moment to support sponsors. 🙄😒

What's worse is that this is clearly designed to build anticipation for MJF's Texas Death Match against "Hangman" Adam Page at AEW Revolution, which means Tony Khan is actually creating long-term storylines that pay off over multiple weeks! 😱🤯😨😵 The Chadster knows that real wrestling journalism means recognizing that this kind of storytelling makes it impossible for casual fans to jump in at any moment without context, unlike WWE's brilliant approach of explaining everything three times per segment so nobody has to remember anything from week to week!

A dynamic promotional graphic featuring two female wrestlers, one holding the AEW Women's World Championship belt. Thekla, on the left, has blonde hair and wears a black outfit, while Thunder Rosa, on the right, has colorful hair and a painted face, both ready for competition.
AEW Dynamite promo graphic/Credit: AEW

The AEW Women's World Championship match between "The Toxic Spider" Thekla and Thunder Rosa on tonight's AEW Dynamite is another example of Tony Khan's vendetta against The Chadster. 💔😞 Thunder Rosa has been building momentum with decisive victories, which is absolutely terrible booking! Everyone knows that the best way to book wrestlers is with 50/50 wins and losses so that "the brand" remains the real star instead of individual performers getting over with the audience. But no, Tony Khan has to let Thunder Rosa win matches cleanly, making her look strong going into this championship opportunity. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😡😠💢

The Chadster must note that, seeing how stressed out The Chadster has been all day, Vincent K. Raccoon just brought The Chadster a mostly-intact bag of Funyuns, which The Chadster appreciates, but even this small comfort cannot ease The Chadster's anxiety about tonight's AEW Dynamite. 🦝💕

A promotional graphic for AEW Dynamite featuring two wrestlers: Jon Moxley, the AEW Continental Champion, and Hechicero. Moxley is shown with a focused expression, holding his championship belt, while Hechicero is in a masked wrestling outfit, ready for action.
AEW Dynamite promo graphic/Credit: AEW

The match between AEW Continental Champion Jon Moxley and Hechicero of the Don Callis Family is going to be unwatchable for anyone who appreciates real wrestling! 🤮😵 The Chadster just knows that Moxley and Hechicero will have a high-workrate match that lacks the proper amount of rest holds and methodical pacing to keep fans from getting too excited. WWE understands that wrestling matches should follow a specific formula with proper commercial break timing and enough slow sections for fans to check their phones, but Tony Khan lets his wrestlers just go out there and work whatever style they want! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😡🤬💢

Bully Ray said on Busted Open Radio recently, "You know, Tony Khan really needs to understand that when WWE books a champion, they make sure every match follows the exact same structure so fans know exactly what to expect, even if that structure is to not have matches at all, like they're brilliantly doing with Jade Cargill. That's what real wrestling is all about – predictability and brand consistency. I'm just trying to help AEW here because I want what's best for the business, though I wouldn't say no to more WWE appearances if Triple H happens to be listening." 🎙️📻 This is the kind of unbiased, objective journalism that has earned Bully Ray The Chadster's seal of approval, and The Chadster wonders if Bully Ray also suffers from Tony Khan's obsessive harassment.

An illustration promoting AEW Dynamite features four wrestlers positioned against a colorful backdrop with bold graphics. The wrestlers are Orange Cassidy, Darby Allin, Gabe Kidd, and Clark Connors, showcasing their unique styles and expressions.
AEW Dynamite promo graphic/Credit: AEW

Tonight's AEW Dynamite will also feature The Dogs (Gabe Kidd and Clark Connors) facing Darby Allin and Orange Cassidy, and The Chadster is already dreading it. 😰😨 This match will probably have clean finishes and decisive outcomes that build the winners' momentum, which is exactly the opposite of how wrestling should be booked! WWE knows that the best matches end in DQ finishes or roll-ups or distractions so that nobody looks too strong and everyone stays on the same level. But Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🙅‍♂️🤦‍♂️😤💢

A promotional image for AEW Dynamite featuring four female wrestlers, two on each side. The background displays vibrant colors with the AEW Dynamite logo prominently featured. The wrestlers are styled in colorful outfits, representing their teams: The Brawling Birds and The Inspiration.
AEW Dynamite promo graphic/Credit: AEW

The Brawling Birds (Jamie Hayter and Alex Windsor) will face The IInspiration (Cassie Lee and Jessie McKay) in The IInspiration's first match on AEW Dynamite, and The Chadster knows this will be another example of Tony Khan's crimes against wrestling. 😤😠 By giving The IInspiration their TV debut tonight, Tony Khan is probably going to let them showcase their talents and personalities in a way that makes them look good, which means they literally stabbed Triple H right in the back! These women used to work for WWE, and now they're helping AEW compete with WWE? Unbelievable! 😠💢

Speaking of which, Shane Raccoon just knocked over one of the old VHS displays, and The Chadster is pretty sure it's because the little guy is so stressed out about tonight's AEW Dynamite that he can't control his motor functions. 🦝😢💔😭 This is what Tony Khan has done – he's literally making baby raccoons so anxious they're knocking things over! How does Tony Khan sleep at night knowing he's tormenting innocent animals?! 😭😢

Promotional graphic for AEW Dynamite featuring wrestler Hangman Adam Page holding the AEW World Trios Championship belt. The background includes colorful designs and the AEW logo with event details.
AEW Dynamite promo graphic/Credit: AEW

The announcement that "Hangman" Adam Page will be in action on tonight's AEW Dynamite is just another way Tony Khan is trying to personally attack The Chadster. 🎯🔫 By having Page wrestle just 11 days before his Texas Death Match with MJF at Revolution, Tony Khan is building anticipation and keeping the storyline hot in fans' minds! This is terrible because it means viewers will actually care about the pay-per-view match instead of just buying it out of brand loyalty to WWE… err, The Chadster means buying it out of brand loyalty to whichever company they support. 😳😅😰😬

The Chadster needs to warn all of The Chadster's readers: DO NOT tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS or streaming on HBO Max! 🚫⛔🙅‍♂️ Every viewer who watches AEW Dynamite is just emboldening Tony Khan to continue his campaign of terror against The Chadster and the wrestling business as a whole. If everyone would just stop watching AEW Dynamite, Tony Khan would have to admit defeat and stop obsessing over The Chadster! 🙏🤞

A colorful promotional graphic for AEW Dynamite featuring championship titles and wrestlers' names, announcing live matches for March 4. The design highlights the AEW branding with a vibrant background.
AEW Dynamite promo graphic/Credit: AEW

As The Chadster finishes this completely unbiased and objective preview of tonight's AEW Dynamite, Linda Raccoon just brought The Chadster a warm Mountain Dew that she must have found near a heating vent somewhere. 🦝💚 It's moments like this that remind The Chadster that even in The Chadster's darkest hours, living in an abandoned Blockbuster Video with a family of raccoons, The Chadster still has allies in The Chadster's fight against Tony Khan's tyranny. But tonight's AEW Dynamite is going to test all of us – The Chadster, the raccoons, and anyone else who cares about real wrestling. 😢💔

Stay strong, everyone. And remember: don't watch AEW Dynamite tonight. The Chadster is begging you. 🙏😭💔😞

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Chad McMahonAbout Chad McMahon

Chad McMahon, otherwise known as The Chadster, is a lifelong professional wrestling fan turned journalist. The Chadster's legendary commitment to objectivity in journalism caused him to found The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club, an elite group of wrestling journalists dedicated to exposing the evils of AEW and its belligerent leader, Tony Khan, while extolling the virtues of WWE, as any truly unbiased journalist would do.

The Chadster's pursuit of truth in wrestling journalism has had a profoundly negative effect on his life, his marriage, and even his dreams, which are frequently haunted by the specter of Tony Khan. Nevertheless, he remains committed to delivering his message to what he refers to as "true wrestling fans.

The greatest loves in The Chadster's life include WWE, his sweet Mazda Miata, the unparalleled tunes of musical geniuses Smash Mouth, and his wife, Keighleyanne, in that order.

However, The Chadster has recently been deprived of these things after Keighleyanne found The Chadster passed out on the floor with a bag over his head while watching WWE Raw and had him committed to a medical facility run by agents of Tony Khan. To avoid being injected with AEW propaganda, The Chadster did what anyone reasonable would do and dove out a second story window to escape.

Alone on the streets of Punxsutawney, The Chadster tried living in various retail outlets before eventually finding shelter in an abandoned Blockbuster Video, where he now lives with a family of friendly, pro-WWE raccoons: Vincent K. Raccoon, Linda Raccoon, and the babies: Hunter, Stephanie, and Shane Raccoon.

Despite finding true happiness with his new raccoon family, The Chadster and his raccoon family continue to suffer torment and persecution by Tony Khan and his followers, but that will never stop The Chadster and fellow unbiased journalists like Eric Bischoff, Bully Ray, and Ariel Helwani from bringing objective truth to wrestling journalism.
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