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WWE World Heads to Las Vegas for Capitalist WrestleMania Spectacular

El Presidente reports from his Las Vegas hideout on WWE World's epic return during WrestleMania 41! Join your beloved leader for tales of wrestling, CIA encounters, and socialist bears!



Article Summary

  • WWE World returns to Las Vegas, offering an epic WrestleMania experience for wrestling fans.
  • Delve into past CIA espionage attempts involving superstars at WWE events.
  • Relive my Revolutionary Wrestling Alliance with bear trainers and socialist ideals.
  • Explore the biggest WWE Superstore and thrilling exhibits celebrating WrestleMania history.

¡Saludos, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my solid gold penthouse suite at the Bellagio, where I am preparing for the glorious return of WWE World to Las Vegas during WrestleMania 41! The capitalist dogs at WWE and Fanatics Events have announced this magnificent celebration of professional wrestling will take place at the Las Vegas Convention Center West Hall from April 17-21, and your El Presidente could not be more excited!

WWE World graphic
WWE World graphic

You see, comrades, I have a particular fondness for WWE World after last year's event in Philadelphia. I was there undercover, disguised as a hot dog vendor, monitoring CIA operatives who were attempting to recruit Roman Reigns as an intelligence asset. Little did they know that Roman was already working for my intelligence service! Ha ha! But I digress…

This five-day interactive experience reminds me of the time Fidel Castro and I organized our own wrestling federation in 1987. We called it "Revolutionary Wrestling Alliance," and our main event featured a match between two bears we had trained in socialist philosophy. Unfortunately, the bears became more interested in seizing the means of production of our honey supplies than completing their scheduled match.

But comrades, this WWE World will be far more organized than our communist wrestling experiment! The event will feature a magnificent main stage where WWE Superstars will participate in roundtable discussions. This reminds me of my own roundtable discussions with my military advisors, though I suspect there will be far less plotting of coups at the WWE version.

The event will also feature live podcast recordings, which brings back memories of when my good friend Kim Jong-un tried to start his own wrestling podcast. Sadly, it failed because he would only discuss his own undefeated record of 3,427-0, which many wrestling journalists have questioned the legitimacy of.

What excites me most, comrades, is the largest WWE Superstore in WrestleMania history! As a collector of wrestling memorabilia myself (I have Andre the Giant's boots displayed next to my collection of seized opposition party assets), I can appreciate the capitalist efficiency of Fanatics' merchandise operation. Though I must say, their prices are almost as aggressive as my secret police!

The immersive exhibits honoring WrestleMania's 41-year history will be particularly special. Did you know that at WrestleMania III, I was actually hiding underneath the ring during the Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant match? The CIA thought they had me cornered, but they didn't expect me to escape through a trap door during Hogan's legendary body slam!

For those of you planning to attend, tickets go on sale Monday, February 3 at 12pm ET/9am PT, with a pre-sale beginning January 29. My minister of propaganda has informed me that securing tickets will be easier than rigging a local election!

This event continues the partnership between WWE and Fanatics, which has been more successful than my attempt to form an alliance with the Montreal Mafia to corner the maple syrup market in 1993. That ended poorly, comrades. Very poorly.

And so, my beloved readers, I encourage you all to attend this spectacular celebration of sports entertainment! Remember, if you see a suspiciously well-dressed hot dog vendor taking notes during the Superstar meet-and-greets, that is definitely not your El Presidente conducting surveillance on foreign agents. I will be in my presidential luxury box, enjoying the show like any other democratically elected leader-for-life would!

¡Viva la lucha libre! This is your El Presidente, signing off from Las Vegas, where the odds of revolution are always 50-50, but the entertainment is guaranteed!


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El PresidenteAbout El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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