Comrades! El Presidente reports on The Total Package's glorious WWE Hall of Fame induction while reminiscing about Luger's body slams and my own CIA encounters!
El Presidente Archives
After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
El Presidente reveals how Travis Scott legitimately injured WWE Champion Cody Rhodes, and why this qualifies him for a socialist championship opportunity!
AEW announces it's bringing Double or Nothing to Arizona's Desert Diamond Arena, plus two nights in Boston! CIA agents, beware!
El Presidente examines Michael Cole's claims that WWE isn't wrestling anymore, and offers the announcer a free stay at his premium thought reconstruction resort! 🇻🇪 💪
Greetings comrades! Your El Presidente reports on John Cena's final European conquest, featuring appearances in Brussels, Glasgow, and London. The CIA remains concerned!
El Presidente investigates the disappearance of Malakai Black, Miro, and Ricky Starks from AEW's roster page. Is the CIA involved?
El Presidente reports on WWE's revolutionary move to bring EVOLVE to the masses via free streaming on Tubi! Could this socialist distribution of wrestling content threaten AEW Dynamite?
El Presidente reveals WWE's massive Las Vegas takeover plans for WrestleMania 41, plus exclusive tales of poker nights with dictators and Elvis at the Bellagio!
El Presidente reports on Stephanie McMahon's return to WWE hosting Stephanie's Places on ESPN+, while sharing tales of my own rejected dictator travel show!
Your El Presidente reports on WWE's historic first Paris premium live event, WWE Clash in Paris, sure to make French wrestling fans exclaim, "sacré bleu!"
El Presidente reports on Triple H entering the WWE Hall of Fame, sharing dictatorial wisdom on self-promotion and recalling the time his face was accidentally carved into the dark side of the moon.
El Presidente reports from his presidential wrestling ring on A&E's explosive new WWE lineup, featuring WWE LFG, WWE Rivals, and WWE's Greatest Moments! CIA agents beware!
El Presidente reports on Chris Jericho's confident predictions for AEW All In: Texas ticket sales, plus juicy details about Ring of Honor's streaming future!
El Presidente reports from his luxury bunker on AEW's explosive spring schedule, including their Philadelphia PPV debut!
El Presidente reports from his Las Vegas hideout on WWE World's epic return during WrestleMania 41! Join your beloved leader for tales of wrestling, CIA encounters, and socialist bears!
El Presidente reports on major Japanese wrestling news as United Japan Pro-Wrestling forms with 10 major promotions joining forces!
El Presidente reports on WWE and TNA's new alliance that will see NXT and TNA talents crossing over weekly! Even The American CIA couldn't stop this historic partnership!
Comrades! El Presidente reports on Corey Graves' WWE drama. Is his NXT exit real or just another CIA plot? Dive into the world of wrestling intrigue!
Comrades! El Presidente reports on John Cena's alliance with McDonald's new McValue menu. Witness the revolution of affordable fast food and CIA-approved savings!
Comrades! El Presidente celebrates WWE's glorious decision to host 2026 Royal Rumble in Saudi Arabia. Which authoritarian paradise will be next? The CIA won't like this!
Comrades! AEW's free-to-air UK deal spreads socialist joy like Santa's reindeer! El Presidente reports on this Christmas miracle from his gingerbread palace.
Comrades! El Presidente reports on TNA's Sportsnet deal, bringing wrestling glory to Canada. CIA agents quake as socialism triumphs in the squared circle!
Drew McIntyre's raw, emotional promo blends real life and kayfabe. The Scottish Warrior's heartfelt revelations shock the wrestling world!
Comrades! El Presidente reports on Rey Fénix's cryptic tweets hinting at AEW troubles. Is the masked luchador flying to WWE? The plot thickens like socialist propaganda!
Comrades! El Presidente reports on WWE's European invasion. 11 cities, RAW, SmackDown, and more! Get ready for a socialist wrestling revolution!
WWE makes a surprise announcement: the next Saturday Night's Main Event heads to San Antonio on January 25th, 2025. Tickets on sale soon, WWE Saturday Night's Main Event graphic
El Presidente reports on UK and Ireland's glorious leap towards socialized WWE content. Is this the revolution we've been waiting for?
El Presidente reports on the epic clash between Cody Rhodes and Kevin Owens at Saturday Night's Main Event. CIA conspiracies and socialist glory await!
Comrades! El Presidente reports on WWE Raw's Netflix debut from his LA bunker. Cena, Rhodes, and more to wrestle as Travis Scott's music plays. Viva la wrestling revolution!
Comrades! El Presidente reports on NXT Deadline's Minneapolis invasion. Iron Survivor Challenges return! CIA-proof streaming on Peacock! Viva la lucha libre!