Posted in: Comics | Tagged: chris claremont, christmas, uncanny x-men, x-men, X-ual Healing - The Weekly X-Men Recap Column

Celebrating the Time the X-Men Played Santa Claus in Uncanny X-Men #230

Published Tue, 25 Dec 2018 14:00:41 -0600

by Jude Terror

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Merry X-Mas, dear readers! Or Happy Holidays if you prefer. During this happiest time of the year (relatively speaking), we figure it's as good a time as any to revisit one of the happiest times in comics, which is, of course, anytime the legendary Chris Claremont is writing the X-Men. Of course, there's no reason Chris Claremont couldn't still be writing an X-Men comic right now, since Marvel pays him a retainer to be exclusive to Marvel. Nonetheless, they choose not to assign him an ongoing book, presumably because, Grinch-like, they despise X-Mas and everything it stands for.

But we're not here to complain about that (today). In the true X-Mas spirit, we're taking a look at three classic Claremont X-Mas tales, plus one with no Claremont at all, in this X-ual Healing: A Very Claremont X-Mas special!

Look, you're the one reading comic book websites on X-Mas.

If you're just catching up, we already look at Uncanny X-Men #98 here and Uncanny X-Men #134 here.

In 1998's Uncanny X-Men #230, the X-Men had recently wrested control of the Reavers' Outback headquarters and set up shop for themselves and the world believed them dead, thanks to their televised showdown in Dallas. The issue by Claremont, Marc Silvestri, Joe Rubinstein, Tom Orzechowski, and the incomparable Glynis Oliver, opens with Storm, having recently regained her powers of flight, soaring through the skies while leading a test of the base's defenses. Manning the computers was Madelyne Pryor, the estranged wife of former X-Men leader Cyclops, whose child had recently been kidnapped by the Marauders. All things considered, Madelyne was taking this in stride, and quite pleased with herself for mastering the Reaver's complex computer defense systems. In less than a year, the events of Inferno would change things for Madelyne forever. But for now, her focus, along with the rest of the X-Men's, was on Rogue, playing the role of invader in this defense exercise.

Working together with Madelyne's guidance, the X-Men — Havok, Psylocke, Dazzler, Colossus, and Wolverine — take Rogue down, though Wolverine, par for the course, takes things a bit too far…

Missing from this training exercise is Longshot, was instead following voices into the tunnels beneath the complex, where he discovered the Reavers' treasure room, filled will stolen goods whose psychic imprints overwhelm him. He passes out in the cave.

The next day, the X-Men perform a little December cleaning on the complex, with Storm using her powers to wash out the buildings of Reaver grime as Rogue brings Gateway a picnic basket. Dazzler emerges from a post-cleaning shower to find Psylocke and Madelyne comforting a crying Longshot. Some X-pository dialogue reveals what happened, and sets the premise for the issue: these stolen goods want to be returned to their owners.

Despite the objections from Wolverine that it's an unnecessary and probably impossible plan, the X-Men agree to return all of the stolen items to their owners. Keep in mind, this is a massive cave full of stuff. Psylocke telepathically transfers the info about each stolen item from Longshot to Madelyne, who uses the computers to plot the locations of their owners. Then the X-Men divide the loot into 6 piles, one for each continent, and an additional pile for items whose owners can't be located. Though Dazzler has her eye on one of the items…

Of course, the X-Men don't have a sleigh driven by flying reindeer, which means they need to rely on Gateway to get them where they need to know to deliver the goods. Thankfully, Gateway is willing, and the X-Men set about their task…

Storm even takes a trip to Salem Center, home of the X-Men's former home and current location of Magneto's New Mutants. Though the New Mutants believe the X-Men dead, and Storm can't reveal herself, she does fix up the weather for them so they can enjoy a white Christmas, which is something of a consolation despite the recent death of their classmate, Doug.

By the next day, all the loot is returned, and Dazzler wonders if anyone realized what day it was…

But the spirit of the holiday isn't spent yet. The other X-Men got together, pooled their resources, and decided to keep that stolen motorcycle and give it to Dazzler. Rogue, for her part, brings a flute to Gateway as a gift, and he returns the favor by inviting her to sit while he plays some tunes.

Read this one for yourself on Marvel Unlimited.

We hope you're enjoying your holiday, and if you need another break from obnoxious relatives, check back here later as we look at more classic Claremont X-Mas comics.

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