You know all those insufferable headlines you've read over the past three decades telling you "Biff! Bam! Pow! Comics Aren't Just For Kids Anymore?" Well, forget about all of that. Marvel has revealed details of their plan to target your kids with a new line of multi-platform products called Marvel Super Hero Adventures.
How does Marvel Super Hero Adventures differ from DC Super Hero Girls? Well, for one thing, it's Marvel and not DC. For another, it's adventures and not (just) girls. So in that regard, this is totally different. But otherwise, they're pretty much copying the distinguished competition.
Bleeding Cool told you about this back in July (pip pip) when we reported on Disney's plans to create all ages books for kids, beginning with a Spider-Man Christmas special, Deck The Malls!. But new details reported by THR reveal that this project is much wider in scope, encompassing a series of ten three-and-a-half-minute animated shorts teaming Spider-Man with characters like Thor, Hulk, Captain America, Black Panther, and Ms. Marvel to "teach the benefits of friendship, co-operation, and heroism."
Additionally, Deck The Malls! will be an early-reader chapter book, with more on the way in 2018. And of course, Marvel is partnering with various toy manufacturers and retailers like Target, Walmart, and Toys-R-Us to merchandise the crap out of this initiative.
Marvel Licensing SVP Paul Gitter said of the program:
"Marvel storytelling and characters engage parents and fans around the world, and now preschoolers have the chance to experience the fun and excitement of the Marvel Universe. Marvel is a brand for fans of all ages, but particularly by preschoolers and trusted with preschool parents. Since our characters are inspiring, heroic, responsible, and brave, the new products are the perfect way for preschoolers to celebrate their passion for Marvel in their daily lives."
Inspiring, heroic, responsible, and brave? Has this guy read a comic in the last decade? How long does Marvel have to wait before they release the chapter book edition of Secret Empire?
All of this kicks off in the fall, so if you've got kids, contact your credit card company and ask for a limit increase today to get ready.