X-ual Healing: Lord Trauma's Final Fate in Legion #5

Sworn to sell comics for Marvel executives who feared and hated the fact that Fox owned their movie rights, The Uncanny X-Men suffered great indignities, but with a corporate merger on the way, the X-Men can finally get back to doing what they do best: being objectively the best franchise in comics.

Each week, armed with the joy, heartbreak, and frustration of 30+ years of reading X-Men comics, we read every new X-book that comes out, recap the events, provide the historical context so you can read it on Marvel Unlimited, and wonder when Marvel will let Chris Claremont write something again.

It's the way X-Men comics were meant to be read! It's the column that can only be known as…

X-ual Healing: Lord Trauma's Final Fate in Legion #5

For more about the column, check out the reboot issue here.

legion #5

LEGION #5 (OF 5)
• With everything on the line, Dr. Hannah Jones must now confront a creature from her own mind!
• What is the grotesque entity known as Bessie Doll?
• And even if she does overcome Bessie Doll and Lord Trauma…will she ever escape Legion's twisted mindscape?
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

Is this mini-series still going on? Okay. The issue opens with celebrity psychologist Dr. Hannah Jones, inside David Haller's mindscape, facing off against a gigantic "Bessie Doll," a nightmare from her childhood. David's "alters" — the alternate personalities who each control one of his many mutant powers — want to fight it, but Jones tries to reason with it instead. Bad move, as it tries to impale her on a gigantic pair of scissors.

Back in the real world, Jones is in a coma, and the doctors are worried as her physical body suffers from the mental battle. David Haller has made his way back into the hospital room and wants to help Jones, but the doctors are all like, "haven't we kicked you out of here like five times during this mini-series?" Haller teleports outside and demands to speak to Lord Trauma, the malevolent entity living in his mindscape which has been destroying his alters, turning them into golems under his control. Lord Trauma is somewhat intimidating when he manifests in the real world, usually imposing his face on an animal, but in this case manifesting as a giant face in the sky.

X-ual Healing: Lord Trauma's Final Fate in Legion #5

Sadly, his actual form, inside the mindscape, is that of a scrawnier Trent Reznor who looks like he reads a lot of books about picking up women. Legion offers to cede control of his mind and body to Lord Trauma (ew) as long as Lord Trauma stops trying to kill Hannah Jones. Trauma doesn't believe Jones will give up, however, so he believes he'll be forced to kill her.

Hunter, the macho alter who replaced Jack Wayne after Lord Trauma killed him, tries shooting the doll, but it hurts Jones because they're connected. The doll stabs Hunter through the chest with her scissors as Jones runs away. In her fear, inside the mindscape, she transforms into her childhood self.

X-ual Healing: Lord Trauma's Final Fate in Legion #5

She flashes back to those days, attending a prestigious private school and being bullied by a mean girl, having to keep it to herself because her parents were having money trouble and her little brother was sick. In her pain and loneliness, she stabbed her Bessie doll with scissors and later started cutting herself. It was after that the Bessie doll started haunting her nightmares. Lord Trauma is enjoying this flashback.

In the real world, Jones' agent Larry and her mother are by her side in the hospital. Jones' body is experiencing the symptoms of extreme fear as inside the mindscape the Bessie doll closes in, now merged with the personality of Jones' school bully, asking her what she's doing here. Jones says she hear to help David Haller, but Bessie isn't buying it. The doll keeps pressing, and Jones finally admits it:

X-ual Healing: Lord Trauma's Final Fate in Legion #5

Jones makes peace with Bessie, much to Lord Trauma's chagrin.

X-ual Healing: Lord Trauma's Final Fate in Legion #5

Lord Trauma is incorrect. Jones and Bessie both stab him, and his lair disintegrates around them. Haller is freed, and he thinks Jones is a great psychologist. He flies up to the window of her hospital room to check on her as she wakes up. Agent Larry offers Jones some television appearances to talk about what happened, but Jones wants to talk to Haller first.

Haller and Jones are alone. Haller tells Jones that he's been doing great since she killed Lord Trauma, who hasn't been seen since. David wants Jones to continue to treat him, but she says she's taking some time off from work. She goes to practice psychology at refugee camps instead, having been cured of her need for fame and money by her experiences.

Later, outside the hospital, David chats with Tami, one of his alters, who says the other alters are doing much better now that Lord Trauma is gone. David says that he wanted to repay Tami for helping him, so he gave her what she really wanted from life. FINAL PAGE SHOCKER! Jones is actually still in the coma. All of that stuff since she "woke up" was happening in her mind, a reward from David for her services. Damn!

The Bottom Line

And so ends this mini-series, as do the careers of Dr. Hannah Jones and Lord Trauma. Ah, Lord Trauma. Such a goofy villain. We're almost going to miss making fun of him. This series didn't really live up to its potential, but it wasn't bad for an attempt to cash in on the success of the Legion TV show. The Twilight Zone/Black Mirror ending was surprising enough, and the story came together at the end.

Further Reading

Want more Legion? Check out the 2012 X-Men Legacy series on Marvel Unlimited.

Read more X-ual Healing here:

X-ual Healing: Lord Trauma's Final Fate in Legion #5

About Jude Terror

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

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