5 Things for Snyderbronies to Do After Winning the Snyder Cut

It was a long and hard-fought battle, but in May, the hardcore fans of Zack Snyder's DCEU, a group colloquially known as Snyderbronies, finally achieved victory. Warner Bros agreed to release the Snyder Cut on HBO Max last year, proving once and for all that not only does the Snyder Cut exist, but that it's something people want to see. The Snyder Cut is a version of the failed 2017 film Justice League which restores the vision of director Zack Snyder, who left the film due to personal tragedy before production was finished. But what to do now when there's No One Left to Fight? As part of a new initiative from Bleeding Cool management for us to produce at least one clickbait listicle per week about any topic of our choosing (luckily for us, everything we write is clickbait), we give you: five things for Snyderbronies to do after winning the Snyder Cut.

Superman cries in anguish at the thought of a Justice League devoid of Zack Snyder's vision before the release of the Snyder Cut.
Superman cries in anguish at the thought of a Justice League devoid of Zack Snyder's vision before the release of the Snyder Cut.

Don't Gloat about the Snyder Cut

Yes, it's true that Snyderbronies knew all along that the Snyder Cut is real, despite all of the haters and Whedonbronies insisting the cut did not exist. Yes, Snyderbronies had faith when others did not, believing in a cause even in the darkest times, such as when Justice League flopped at the box office thanks to alleged fake feminist Joss Whedon replacing all of Zack Snyder's badass superman scenes with scenes where Cyborg says booyah. But it's time for Snyderbronies to show they're the bigger bronies. Handling this victory with maturity and grace will be the most gratifying celebration.

Okay, Maybe Gloat a Little about the Snyder Cut

You know what, on second thought, Snyderbronies deserve to gloat a little bit. As a great man, and likely a Snyderbronie himself, once said, "Kobe How my ass taste. Everybody, Kobe how my ass taste. Yeah, you can't do without me. Kobe, you can't do without me. Kobe, you can't do without me. Everybody, Kobe, tell how my ass taste."

Go to Disneyworld

It's become a tradition after winning a major sports championship to express plans to visit the Happiest Place on Earth. Why should it be different for Snyderbronies, who have achieved a victory greater than any Super Bowl or World Series? Treat yourself to a vacation after fighting so hard to have Zack Snyder's vision realized. You deserve it. Just try not to catch coronavirus and die before the Snyder Cut actually comes out.

Bring the Snyderbrony Ethos to Another Fandom

Snyderbronies have proven they have what it takes to affect lasting and permanent change in the structure of society. Why not use those powers for good in other areas that could stand to benefit from a campaign to restore a creator's original vision? Maybe force MTV to play music videos again. Make Disney Plus release the original Muppet Babies series for streaming. Force Hasbro to finally make Season 3 of the Sunbow GI Joe cartoon. Make Marvel toss out continuity for the past thirty years of X-Men comics and bring on Chris Claremont to rewrite the ones he didn't write already? Join us, fellow Claremontbronies! We will have vengeance!

Justice League Snyder Cut teaser
Image: HBO Max

Live a Life of Peace and Prosperity

You've done it all, Snyderbronies. There are no higher mountains left to climb. The Snyder Cut is a reality. The haters have been destroyed. Life is good. Relax. Enjoy the sweet taste of victory. It's time to proverbially make out with Lois Lane in the wreckage of Metropolis after proverbially snapping Zod's neck.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

twitter   envelope   globe