Not a Joke: Warner Bros to Release the Snyder Cut on HBO Max

In news so awesome it almost makes up for the entire global pandemic, Warner Bros has finally caved into demand and agreed to release the Snyder Cut of Justice League, a version of the film which restores director Zack Snyder's Vision. The Snyder Cut will be released; yes, you heard that correctly, it will be released in 2021 on Warner's HBO Max streaming service. The news was announced to coincide with a Man of Steel watch along led by Snyder himself, with the press release sent out moments after Superman makes out with Lois Lane in the wreckage of Metropolis after brutally snapping Zod's neck.

Though it should have been the culmination of Zack Snyder's Randian vision for the DCEU, Snyder had to leave the production of Justice League before it was completed due to a personal tragedy. Warner Bros brought on alleged fake feminist Joss Whedon to take over, with Whedon promising to stay true to Snyder's Vision. However, as soon as nobody was paying attention, Whedon replaced all of Snyder's badass Superman scenes with scenes where Cyborg says booyah. Justice League ultimately flopped at the box office, costing Warner Bros a lot of money and forcing DC Films president Jon Berg to pay the ultimate price.

Not a Joke: Warner Bros to Release the Snyder Cut on HBO Max
Image: HBO Max

But out of the wreckage of studio mismanagement arose a shining beacon of hope. This movement would spend the next several years demanding that Warner Bros make right what they once got so wrong and release the Snyder Cut of Justice League. That movement, led by a group of hardcore Zack Snyder enthusiasts colloquially known as the Snyderbronies, as now finally triumphed, proving Zack Snyder was right all along when he said that "you're living in a f**king dream world" if you don't think Superheroes kill and commit atrocities.

"I want to thank HBO Max and Warner Brothers for this brave gesture of supporting artists and allowing their true visions to be realized. Also, a special thank you to all of those involved in the SnyderCut movement for making this a reality," said Snyder in the press release, addressing the Snyderbronies directly. And Snyder had an ally, a Snyderbrony on the inside of Warner Bros itself, in Warner Media Entertainment and Direct-to-Consumer Chairman Robert Greenblatt, sho added, "Since I got here 14 months ago, the chant to #ReleaseTheSnyderCut has been a daily drumbeat in our offices and inboxes. Well, the fans have asked, and we are thrilled to finally deliver. At the end of the day, it really is all about them and we are beyond excited to be able to release Zack's ultimate vision for this film in 2021. This could never have happened if it weren't for the hard work and combined efforts of the teams at HBO Max and Warner Bros. Pictures."

Despite refusing the desires of Snyderbronies for all of these years, all of a sudden, everybody at Warner Bros is jumping on the Snyder Cut bandwagon, with HBO Max Chief Content Officer and President of TNT, TBS, and truTV Kevin Reilly saying, "When Zack and Debbie shared the extraordinary vision of where Zack wanted to take Justice League, my team and our counterparts at Warner Bros. took it as a mission to solve the many issues that stood in the way. Thanks to the partnership at Warner Bros. and the relentless pursuit of the entire WarnerMax team, we are able to deliver this incredibly exciting moment for Zack, the fans and HBO Max."

Even Warner Bros Pictures Group Chairman Toby Emmerich said, "Thanks to the efforts of a lot of people, we're excited to bring fans this highly anticipated version of Justice League. This feels like the right time to share Zack's story, and HBO Max is the perfect platform for it. We're glad the creative planets aligned, allowing us to #ReleaseTheSnyderCut."

Emmerich is right. Times are dark right now, and we need a version of Justice League just as if not more dark to counter it all. Finally, that version will see the grimdark light of day. Finally, Zack Snyder's Vision will be realized. Finally, Snyderbronies will be vindicated. Finally, Warner Bros will release the Snyder Cut of Justice League. Finally, the word "booyah" can lose the negative connotation it's taken on since Whedon used it to crush the life out of Snyder's vision those four years ago. And just in time too, because what better time to use it? Booyah.

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About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!
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