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Ten Thoughts About Doctor Who: Kill The Moon

Another week, another episode of Doctor Who. We are so blessed. And after not killing Hitler, clearly the moon is next…

1. Weapons Of Moon Destruction

Forty-five minutes is the length of an episode of Doctor Who. It is also the time that the British public were told Saddam Hussein would be able to launch his weapons of mass destructions. Those forty-five minutes are chosen for a reason, with moon destroying nuclear bombs all around.

2. The Lights Are Going Out All Over Europe

We have had these choices before. Flesh And Blood saw human and Silurians negotiating peace. Badly. There was the choice in The Beast Below that saw the remains of humanity enslave and torture a star whale. And now the whole of the Earth gets to choose…

And then they made the wrong choice, again, so Clara has to make the right one. Basically, Humans are terrible and they need someone to make decisions for then, even if it's a schoolteacher from East London. Rather fits in with Danny Pink's accusations of aristocracy.

Actually, also except the whole of humanity didn't get to choose. Just the side of the Earth that was in darkness, and who had access to electricity. So most of America got a vote, all of Europe did, those with access in Africa did and the rest of the world can go swivel over whether of not they can vote to kill a Moon Baby.

3. This Doctor Is Pro-Life

Sorry, sorry, Moon Foetus. Apparently it's not a planet's right to choose. Of a half-planet. The Doctor says he's pro-choice – but only if it's the right choice. Well, there is the last-of-its-kind genocidal aspect to consider as well.

But certainly it was a woman's right to choose, but only if that woman was Clara. A Clara who has seen what the Doctors, all three of him didn't do. They didn't press the button to blow up a planet. So she does to stop one.

Certainly this week's episodes of Doctor Who passes the Bechdel Test – but does it still count if the women are all talking about a babu?

4. It's A Science Thing

I'm not sure exactly how the moon is putting on weight – the foetus is getting bigger, sure, but where is the extra mass coming from? Also, how come the spider germs make noise on the surface of the moon – and the Moon Baby has wings? What is it flapping in? Also, how can it lay another Moon – surely the moon has to be bigger than it? And if the Moon had disappeared without a replacement, that may have had a big one off effect on the seas as well… tsunamis all round? I'm just hoping there's some Time Lord science going on here, because human science is up the wazzoo.

5. He'll Be Back

If Courtney Woods will be President Woods, then they are going to have to rescind that natural-born-citizen clause to the eligibility of the POTUS. Which means that at some point Arnold Schwarzenegger will want to stand to make it happen.

As long as everyone keeps telling her she's special, we know how important that is, right? To the Doctor, to this Doctor, everyone is long gone dead.

6. Time And Relative DVDs In Space

The DVDs are from Blink, as is the TARDIS leaving without you. But now at least we understand how they work. The only question is… how did Courtney know what DVDs are? Surely it's all iPlayer, Hulu and Netflix now?

And as exactly what has happened to the Doctor post the gift of the Time Lords in The Day Of The Doctor, "You'll have to spend a lot of time shooting me, because I will keep on regenerating. In fact, I'm not entirely sure if I won't keep on regenerating forever."

Is this not the Immortal Doctor?

7. Warning, Contains Language

Peter Capaldi's most famous role before this, was the sweary-fantastic Malcolm Tucker in The Thick Of It. His "Shut, shuttity up up" rant was very familiar to a previous rant – but with a slightly harsher word. Well, this is a Doctor who objects to "bloody" and "damn" with a "mind your language". Also a sign that Doctor Who is on a little later now? Not common Who phraseology.

So Clara gets heavy with the Doctor. Well it has been building. And while Doctor Who has been called a soap opera since Russel T Davies' revival of the show, only now does it seemt o be doing it deliberately.

8. Time Travel Is Just So Last Year

In 2049, time travellers don't exactly raise an eyebrow. Annoying probably. Anyway, here we have an astronaut who picks up the rather obvious clues and acts accordingly. Do note the Doctor's psychic time awareness at the end though. It rather defines the character this year.

9. An Earthly Child

Doctor Who has a habit of precious children, children ahead of their age and maturity. In Courtney Woods, we have a kid who just wants to go home, and put things on Tumblr. It's refreshing. And I bet they'll have loved the plug – until the "my granny used to put things on Tumblr" and talking about how it works, "I'm not a historian" Remember folks, internet services could be a lot more temporary than they feel.

Also, "She met this bloke called Blinovitch" – the discoverer of the Blinovitch Limitation Effect, about how time travellers can interact with themselves. Hey, does she still have those vortex manipulators?

10. So, Um, Yeah, There Was Something About Spiders?

Yeah no one thinks of all the dead spiders at the end, right? Isn't that a kind of genocide, Doctor? You know the one you did to the babies of the Arachnoss? Add to all the spiders you killed on Metebelis Three and I'm starting to think you have a real issue here.

Bonus Thought: Are You My Mummy

From next week's episode, we have David Bamber. Who also appeared as the lead in Steven Moffat's Chalk. Which, after watching an episode being filmed, was the first time I met Steven Moffat. We chatted about Press Gang. It was a long time ago…

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