short and curlies Archives

BrainFart: I know I've reached middle-age because I've just bought six bottles of wine and don't intend to drink any of them, because they look better in

BrainFart: All-righty-then.  Let's talk POPE. His pointy-headed Holiness descends upon these fair isles (there's got to be an "aisles" pun there, but this

The Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey: Okay…  Back to last week's ongoing Super-Heroic Super-Ramble. CATCHUP CORNER: You'll recall we concluded -- using the

The Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey: Steroidal Science-Powered Archetype of Teenage America's Wishful-Vision-Of-Perfect-Adulthood seeks new role, new

News From The SpurSphere: Forgive me dipping oh-so-briefly into the horrors of Social Politics -- specifically that least divisive of all issues, ho ho

The Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey: "Mind the gap!" So shrieketh the subway-based baddie in underrated 70's schlock horror flick Death Line, which is on my

Kultcha: Terrible movies can save us all from an Evil Future.  Behold My Tortured Logic: See, a couple of Interesting Viewing Experiences this week have

Kultcha: Overheard conversation between Angry Teacher and Smarmy Little 8-yr-old Schoolkid Bastard, during school-trip to Cultural/Historical Motherlode

The Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey: Like a sluttish protein syruping itself into the Primordial Cell, Google continues to invade my Working Routine. "I'm vital

This Week I Have Been Mostly Hating: ...Having the cruel wobbly knife of gender inequality rammed-home with a corkscrew twist. During a recent visit to a

BrainFart: Much has been made, in recent years, of the ubiquitous MetaFiction Movement. Technically that's any piece of narrative which wears its Not

News From The Spursphere: I'm scum. I'm a wart-weasel of the very worst ilk.  I've deserted you, my plucky lovetumours, for three long weeks, and can only

I Fakt You, Right In The Face: Amazing and Helpful news from the world of Real Actual Science! We've all seen crazed labfreaks forcing innocent animals

The Keyboard Continues To Be My FuckMonkey: COMICS! Convention season, I'm reliably informed, is In Full Swing.  Here then is a ludicrously tangential

(Back By Popular Demand, You Fuckers) -- This Week I Have Mostly Been Hating: ...the subconscious propensity for the human brain to absorb external

BrainFart: Dear Fatties Of A Certain Kind: it is my sad duty to inform you that wearing Sportswear doesn't actually mean you're Doing Sports.  Weight

The Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey: NOVELWATCH: As I type this, I'm about two weeks clear of finishing my next novel.  (That's for any given, ill-defined value

BRAINFART: I long to live in a world in which “toilet rolls” are a complex Acrobatic Manoeuvre reserved for an extremely specialist Olympics Event, rather

BrainFart: I get a tiny flutter of pleasure whenever I find a typo in a professionally published novel.  I feel it's important that you know this about

Kultcha: Quezon City: most populous berg in the Already-Pretty-Fucking-Teeming Philippines, where overworked and creatively-stunted businessmen have taken

The Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey: Okay.  A few final squeezings from the citric tumour I've been mercilessly wringing-out this past couple of weeks,

The KeyBoard Is My FuckMonkey: Some extra-curricular thoughts on the whole "Superheroes: Good Or Bad For Comics" debate, which has been raging -- RAGING!

The KeyBoard Is My FuckMonkey: It's been a while since I said much about comics here. Apparently -- on the grounds that this is a comics-related column,

BrainFart: I'm ill, screw you. Gripped by lugubrious fevers, somersaulting fuzzily through the Paracetamol Nebula, I have ditched the idea of Real Actual

I Fakt You, Right In The Face: So. We've all heard that one about the ice-hearted sleazy government fuckoids who have, using arcane Mathematical

BrainFart: Suicide bombers. Fucking idiots, really. I mean, yes, no, no, let's not get ourselves drawn into a philosophical argument about the existence

Plugged I don't like strangers. Actually, that's not entirely true. Under certain very narrowly defined conditions, usually involving Profound Silence,

Achieve even a modicum of success in the field of writing comics -- a solitary prideparticle of Published Material; a lonely tick on your comicography; a

Apparently it's Christmas. Sheltered as I am from such festive frippery in my sticky saunapit of meat-flavoured bitterness; sick as I am with the taste of

BrainFart: Crazy urban troubleshooting this week... Problem: How do you stop crowds of listless hoodie-wearing juvenile scallywanks from hanging about in