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AAA Star Black Taurus Appears on Impact, Joins Decay

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Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, here to bring you breaking news out of tonight's episode of Impact Wrestling. Your El Presidente is valiantly writing up the recap of tonight's episode of Impact now, but this news is too important to wait, and besides, how can I engage in the mass redistribution of wealth if I'm not making money by publishing lots of articles, comrades? Haw haw haw haw! But it isn't the evils of capitalism I am here to discuss tonight, my friends, though I will happily expound on the subject whenever required. No, this is about Black Taurus, who made a surprise debut in Impact tonight to join Decay and face Kaleb with a K in a match.

I say "debut in Impact" because Black Taurus actually wrestled on the show a year ago, losing to Rhino but defeating Moose, when Impact filmed two episodes in Mexico. But now he is joining the Impact roster, at least for a while. So he is now in Impact, as opposed to just on it, comrades. Black Taurus recently played the Venom-like character in the Marvel Comics match at TripleMania.

Black Taurus joined Decay on Impact this week, murdering Kaleb with a K in a squash match.
Black Taurus joined Decay on Impact this week, murdering Kaleb with a K in a squash match.

Anyways, from my Impact recap, comrades, which will be published after the show, here's how it went down:

Promo: XXXL, Tenille Dashwood, and Kaleb

XXXL, Tenille Dashwood, and Kaleb cut a promo. Larry D says Tenille is gonna take care of Rosemary for XXXL. Tenille makes fun of Decay's dental hygiene. Kaleb says he's excited to team with Tenille against Decay at No Surrender, but he wants some action right now.

Crazzy Steve and Rosemary come out, and this week, it's looking like a good thing that Impact stopped paying for that Marilyn Manson song license. Rosemary says some scary stuff, comrades, and then brings out Black Taurus from AAA, the newest member of Decay. Well, that's an interesting development, comrades.

A match ensued, comrades, but it didn't last very long.

Kaleb vs. Black Taurus

Taurus murders the crap out of Kaleb, comrades.

Winner: Black Taurus

It is so unusual to see someone debut in Impact and they aren't a former WWE jobber, comrades. Unusual, but welcome. Until next time: socialism or death, my friends.

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El PresidenteAbout El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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