Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision Preview: Close the Forbidden Door

The Chadster previews AEW Collision, warns viewers not to watch, and shares a nightmare about Tony Khan. Auughh man! So unfair to WWE! 😭🚫📺

Before The Chadster gets into previewing tonight's episode of AEW Collision, The Chadster needs to apologize to all the readers out there for The Chadster's brother, The Bradster, once again publishing an extremely biased article on Bleeding Cool. 😡 In The Bradster's post about Kayla Braxton announcing her exit from WWE, The Bradster speculated that Braxton could sign with AEW, and he didn't even mention how that would be like literally stabbing Triple H right in the back! Auughh man! So unfair! 😭 The Chadster is so cheesed off right now, The Chadster can barely focus on writing this preview. But The Chadster will soldier on, because that's what real, unbiased journalists do. 💪

Now, onto the preview for tonight's episode of AEW Collision, which is set to air at 8/7C on TNT. The Chadster wishes he didn't have to write about this, but it's The Chadster's job as an unbiased journalist. 📝

First up, we have an AEW International Championship match between Will Ospreay and Brian Cage. 🏆 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is putting this match on free TV. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤 Ospreay should be focusing on his upcoming match with Swerve Strickland, but instead, he's risking his championship against Cage. This is just another example of how AEW doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

Next, we have an Eliminator match between AEW Continental Champion Kazuchika Okada and Ultimo Guerrero. 🌎 The Chadster is so tired of AEW bringing in all these international stars. It's like Tony Khan is trying to create some sort of "forbidden door" or something. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 WWE has been perfectly fine with their homegrown talent for years, and AEW is just trying to show off.

Then there's a tag team match featuring Chris Jericho and Big Bill against Private Party. 👥 The Chadster can't believe Jericho is still wrestling. Doesn't he know he literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW? And now he's teaching younger talent? It's like he's trying to create a whole new generation of back-stabbers. 🔪

There's also a trios match with HOOK, Katsuyori Shibata, and Samoa Joe facing the Premier Athletes. 👊 The Chadster doesn't even want to think about how unfair it is that AEW has Samoa Joe. He should be in WWE, not wasting his time in a company that doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

The Chadster is so upset about all of this that The Chadster needs to take a break and tell you about a nightmare The Chadster had last night. 😱 In the dream, Tony Khan was chasing The Chadster through a giant White Claw factory. Every time The Chadster tried to grab a can to quench The Chadster's thirst, Tony Khan would appear and knock it out of The Chadster's hand. The worst part was, Tony Khan was wearing nothing but a singlet made of TV ratings charts showing AEW beating NXT. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and stay out of The Chadster's dreams! 😡

Anyway, back to the preview. There's also going to be matches featuring The Patriarchy and The House of Black. 🏠 The Chadster doesn't even want to talk about these matches because they're just more examples of how AEW is trying to be different from WWE, which is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business.

The Chadster wants to warn all the readers out there: please don't tune into AEW Collision tonight at 8/7C on TNT. 🚫📺 If you do, you'll only be emboldening Tony Khan and his quest to ruin The Chadster's life. Instead, why not rewatch some classic WWE matches on Peacock? That's what a real wrestling fan would do.

Finally, The Chadster wants to sincerely wish Kayla Braxton the best in her future endeavors, unless of course those endeavors include AEW. 🙏 The Chadster will never understand why someone would leave a job at the greatest company on Earth, but as long as she isn't colluding with Tony Khan to RUIN THE CHADSTER'S LIFE, to each their own. 🤷‍♂️

The Chadster is going to go drink some White Claw now and try to forget about this awful show. Maybe The Chadster will take The Chadster's Mazda Miata for a spin while blasting some Smash Mouth. That always cheers The Chadster up after having to write about AEW. 🚗🎵 And that's the bottom line, because The Chadster said so! 💯

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