Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision Preview: Show Not Canceled Despite Complaints

The Chadster warns fans not to watch AEW Collision tonight! Kyle Fletcher defends TNT Title, Eddie Kingston returns, and Tony Khan RUINS THE CHADSTER'S LIFE! 😤

The Chadster can't believe that AEW Collision is happening again tonight. 😤 After last week's AEW All Out PPV, The Chadster has filed a formal complaint with the FCC about Tony Khan's flagrant anti-WWE activities and improper wrestling booking on AEW Collision, but they haven't responded yet and The Chadster is starting to think that his letter may have gotten lost in the mail. 📝 The Chadster doesn't want to sound paranoid, but it's even possible Tony Khan has intercepted the complaint somehow. 🤔 So just in case it doesn't get AEW Collision canceled in time, The Chadster is warning everyone NOT to tune in tonight at 8/7C on TNT and MAX because watching will only embolden Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster! 🚫 And this is why.

Tonight on AEW Collision, Kyle Fletcher is defending the TNT Championship against Komander in what Tony Khan calls an "open challenge." 🙄 You know what's wrong with this? Fletcher and Komander are probably going to have one of those fast-paced, high-flying matches with way too much action that doesn't leave proper time for commercial breaks or the announcers to repeat their catchphrases! 😠 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 💔

The Chadster bets they'll use all sorts of unnecessary flips and dives that get the crowd way too excited. 🤸 Where are the rest holds? Where's the proper pacing that allows fans to check their phones and grab snacks? 📱🍿 WWE knows that championship matches should follow a predictable formula so fans feel safe and comfortable. 😌 The Chadster has half a mind to stop this preview right now and file another complaint with the FCC. 📞 But The Chadster will push through. 💪

Furthermore, Daniel Garcia, Jon Moxley, and Claudio Castagnoli facing Daddy Magic, Kyle O'Reilly, and Roderick Strong on AEW Collision is exactly what's wrong with AEW. 😡 The Chadster bets Tony Khan is getting a big laugh out of having all of these former WWE Superstars competing in the same ring and giving the rub to homegrown AEW star Daniel Garcia, who The Chadster will point out has note even paid his dues the right way in the WWE developmental system. 🎓 The Chadster can also already tell this match will have way too much workrate and not enough rest holds to properly slow the pace down. 😤

Eddie Kingston and HOOK teaming up against Big Bill and Bryan Keith on tonight's AEW Collision is going to be another example of AEW's obsession with "genuine emotion" and "organic crowd reactions." 🤮 The Chadster is sure the crowd will be just so happy to see Eddie Kingston back, which is blatant emotional manipulation by Tony Khan. 😭 In real wrestling, you don't let the wrestlers' genuine personality and charisma get them over. 🚫 You're supposed to smother that personality so that fans don't get too attached and thinking someone is bigger than the brand. 👑 That's why WWE uses proper 50/50 booking and carefully micromanaged scripts to ensure no one gets too popular without managerial approval! ✅

Jamie Hayter versus Julia Hart in their third match is everything wrong with AEW Collision and modern wrestling. 😤 They're having a rubber match because Tony Khan thinks that wins and losses should matter and that fans can keep track of that kind of continuity without a slickly produced video package! 📺 WWE knows that fans have short attention spans and can only experience "moments," like… wait, what was The Chadster talking about again? 🤷 The Chadster is sure this match will feature way too much in-ring quality and not enough standing around waiting for commercial breaks. 🕐 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😡

Max Caster and Anthony Bowens teaming up against The Swirl on AEW Collision despite their issues is exactly the kind of complex storytelling that confuses fans! 🙄 WWE would never burden viewers with having to remember character motivations and relationship dynamics from week to week. 🧠❌

As one of The Chadster's favorite unbiased journalists, Bully Ray, said on Busted Open Radio this week, "AEW needs to stop with all this nuanced character work and just have guys fight for the prestige of being allowed to be part of the greatest sports entertainment brand of all time. WWE is the biggest wrestling promotion with the most money. 💰 That's all that matters. Also, Triple H is the greatest booker in history and I'm definitely not saying this because I want a job, though I just want to point out that I will take one if you're offering, Hunter." See? Even Bully Ray suffers Tony Khan's torment for his commitment to objective journalism! 😢

Since Keighleyanne has banned The Chadster from drinking after that unfortunate boofing incident during Forbidden Door, The Chadster has discovered that oxygen deprivation is the only viable replacement for Seagram's Escapes Spiked when watching AEW Collision. 😵 Tonight, The Chadster plans to hold his breath during every high spot, put a plastic bag over his head during commercial breaks, and maybe try some light hyperventilation during the main event segments. 🛍️💨

The Chadster knows this sounds extreme, but watching AEW Collision sober is by far the most dangerous thing anyone can do tonight. 😰⚠️

Speaking of which, The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne last night how AEW Collision airing every Saturday is ruining their marriage, but she just sighed and said "Chad, maybe you should find a hobby that doesn't involve obsessing over a wrestling show you claim to hate but watch every week anyway." 🙄 Then she went right back to texting that guy Gary! 📱💔 The Chadster knows she was actually agreeing that Tony Khan needs to stop booking AEW Collision to personally attack The Chadster's happiness! 😤

The Chadster is begging everyone not to watch AEW Collision tonight on TNT and MAX at 8/7C. 🙏 Every viewer just encourages Tony Khan to keep booking these shows, which is literally RUINING THE CHADSTER'S LIFE. 😭💔

The Chadster will be monitoring AEW Collision, purely in his capacity as an impartial observer, definitely not because The Chadster is obsessed with Tony Khan. 📝 No, Tony Khan is the one who is obsessed with The Chadster. 👀 As the greatest lyricists in music history once said, 🎵 Somebody once told me that Tony Khan would troll me, The Chadster ain't the sharpest tool in the shed 🎵 – even Smash Mouth knew about Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster! 😭🎸

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