Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Review; Plus: Guns N' Roses Betrays WWE

The Chadster reviews AEW Collision's latest trainwreck and exposes Guns N' Roses' betrayal of WWE. Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster reaches new heights! 😡🎸

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off after watching last night's episode of AEW Collision. 😡 Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, and The Chadster can't believe he's allowed to keep ruining wrestling like this. 🙄

First off, the show opened with a match between Mina Shirakawa and Harley Cameron. 👎 The Chadster couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Mina hit a sling blade from the top rope. That's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤 WWE invented doing moves off top rope, and AEW is just stealing their ideas.

Next up was Daniel Garcia versus Johnny TV. 🤮 The Chadster was appalled to see Jack Perry attack Matt Menard during the match. Wrestlers attacking commentators? This just shows how AEW wrestlers have no respect for authority or the norms of professional sports entertainment. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

The match between Shelton Benjamin and Komander was just another example of AEW's blatant disregard for wrestling tradition. 😒 Komander running across the top rope is just so unrealistic and takes The Chadster right out of the moment. WWE would never allow such shenanigans, but if they did, you can be dang sure The Chadster would appreciate because when WWE does it, it's real wrestling, and when AEW does, it's just a disgrace.

Powerhouse Hobbs squashing Bear Bronson was clearly Tony Khan's way of trying to create his own Brock Lesnar. 🙄 The Chadster knows that Brock Lesnar is a WWE creation, and AEW will never be able to recreate that magic, especially on a third-rate show like AEW Collision.

The tag team match between The Acclaimed and LFI was just a mess. 🤢 The entrance featuring a rap by Max Caster that referenced Kamala Harris losing and threatened to deport LFI is the kind of up-to-date pop culture references that would never fly in WWE. The Chadster couldn't believe how many flips and dives there were in the match either. It's like AEW doesn't even care about traditional tag team wrestling anymore, which is meant to consist of constant cheating behind the ref's back leading up to multiple hot tags, and then ultimately a run-in by a singles wrestler who beats everyone up because who cares about tag team wrestling anyway? Especially when there isn't a WWE belt on the line.

And don't even get The Chadster started on that main event between Mariah May and Anna Jay. 😤 A No DQ match for the women's title? That's just Tony Khan trying to be edgy for the sake of being edgy. If The Chadster wanted to see a bloody fight, he go outside and scrap with that dang stray dog that's always causing trouble for The Chadster. WWE would never put their wrestlers in such dangerous, uncontrolled situations. WWE knows to stick to the formula that provides consistent, predictable sports entertainment.

The worst part of last night's AEW Collision was when The Chadster witnessed Guns N' Roses letting AEW use "November Rain" for a music video promoting next week's AEW Full Gear PPV. 😭 The Chadster can just picture Triple H sobbing into his leather jacket, wondering why Axl Rose would betray him like this. It's like Guns N' Roses literally stabbed Triple H right in the back. How could you?!

Well, The Chadster couldn't sit idly by while Guns N' Roses allowed AEW to use "November Rain," so The Chadster took it upon himself to rewrite the song's lyrics to properly honor WWE instead. 🎶 Here's a little sneak peek for The Chadster's loyal readers, because everyone needs a song version that shows true respect for the wrestling business:

When I watch you on Peacock,
I can see a wrestling pure. 🤘
'Cause Triple H and WWE,
Bring the wrestling Chad adores.

Nothin' lasts forever
And we both know nothing should change.
So stick to the WWE formula 🔥
or Tony Khan's to blame.

Yeah-eah-yeah-eahh-yeahhh.

🎸 Now, that's the kind of music that respects wrestling — unlike Tony Khan's AEW noise! The Chadster's just putting out the truth. Auughh man! So unfair!

You know what, the Chadster doesn't even care about Guns N' Roses. 😤 They're just a band from the past trying to hold onto their fading glory. If you want real music that respects the wrestling business, you go with Smash Mouth. 🎶 Smash Mouth understands how to create catchy tunes that stay in your head even more than the epic rivalries of WWE. 🌟

Remember, "All Star" is a classic because it stands for something, just like WWE. 🔥 Smash Mouth's lyrics give people something to believe in with their inspiring message of positivity, just like WWE has done for years with its family-friendly content. It's just like they say, "Hey now, you're an All-Star, get your game on, go play!" Absolutely nobody jams out to "November Rain" anymore – it's all about real music, like "I'm a Believer" or "Walkin' on the Sun." That's right, AEW can never rock like that. 🌞

So Tony Khan can keep using songs from bands like Guns N' Roses, but The Chadster will stick with real legends. It's just another attempt by Tony Khan to distract from AEW's flawed product by using cheap nostalgia instead of creating long-lasting entertainment like WWE. Auughh man, so unfair! 🎤🤘

Speaking of betrayal, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata down a dark, winding road. Suddenly, Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, riding a giant Guns N' Roses guitar. He was chasing The Chadster, trying to force-feed him White Claw while "November Rain" blasted from invisible speakers. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 😢

The Chadster can't help but feel that Tony Khan is using AEW Dynamite and AEW Collision to personally attack him. 😠 It's like every decision Tony Khan makes is designed to cheese off The Chadster. Why can't Tony Khan just leave The Chadster alone and stop being so obsessed?

As always, The Chadster turned to the words of wisdom from true unbiased wrestling journalists for comfort. 🙏 Booker T recently talked about this on his podcast, and here's what he had to say: "AEW's use of music videos is clearly a desperate attempt to distract from their lack of storytelling. They should focus on creating compelling narratives like WWE does on NXT every Tuesday, where you can hear yours truly on the commentary team." See? Even Booker T, who has literally no reason to be biased, agrees that AEW is doing it all wrong.

In conclusion, AEW Collision continues to be a blight on the wrestling landscape. 🤮 The Chadster wishes Tony Khan would just give up and let WWE be the only major wrestling company, as it should be. Until then, The Chadster will continue to be the voice of unbiased journalism in the wrestling world, no matter how much Tony Khan tries to silence him. 💪

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!