Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: Cody Rhodes, Jelly Roll, recaps, Wrestlemania, wrestling

Cody Rhodes Retains at WrestleMania with Help From Jelly Roll

The Chadster recaps Cody Rhodes retaining the WWE Championship over Randy Orton in the WrestleMania main event! Plus, a raccoon family crisis! 🦝🏆😱

Welcome to The Chadster's ongoing live coverage of WrestleMania, the greatest Premium Live Event in the history of sports entertainment, right here on Bleeding Cool — the ONLY safe and secure place on the internet for unbiased coverage that respects WWE's rightful place as the global leader in wrestling! 🎉🏆 And folks, The Chadster just witnessed the most MAGNIFICENT main event in the history of WrestleMania, as Cody Rhodes defeated Randy Orton to retain the WWE Championship in a match that will go down in history as the greatest thing The Chadster has ever seen at WrestleMania! 😭💪 This is exactly the kind of WrestleMania moment that proves WWE understands main event booking better than Tony Khan ever could, and it's the perfect way to close out night one of WrestleMania!

So here's what happened in this incredible WrestleMania main event championship match. 🎤✨ It started with Pat McAfee jumping Cody before the match and Jelly Roll putting McAfee through the announce table! Then Cody Rhodes and Randy Orton put on an absolute war that had The Chadster on the edge of The Chadster's seat! The two competitors exchanged offense throughout the match, with both men targeting each other's weaknesses. Rhodes worked over Orton's back while the Viper tried to hit his signature moves. Things got chaotic when Orton accidentally hit referee Charles Robinson with an RKO, leaving the ring without an official! That's when Pat McAfee ran back down to the ring wearing a neck brace and a referee shirt to make a count, but Rhodes kicked out! Then Orton hit an RKO on McAfee himself, and Robinson recovered just in time to count the three when Cody hit Cross Rhodes for the victory! 🏆👏 Cody Rhodes retained the WWE Championship at WrestleMania, and what an absolutely perfect WrestleMania moment to end night one!

The Chadster needs to take several moments to explain why this was literally the greatest main event match in the history of WrestleMania, and possibly the greatest wrestling match of ANY kind at ANY WrestleMania ever. 🏅📜 First of all, the celebrity involvement in this match absolutely ELEVATED it to a level that Tony Khan could never achieve in a million years! 💯 Just think about how much less impactful this WrestleMania main event would have been without the incredible involvement of country music superstar Jelly Roll, who played such a pivotal roll! The Chadster's heart was literally soaring as Jelly Roll stole the show during the start of the match, and The Chadster thought to The Chadster's self, "This is what WrestleMania is all about!" 🎸🎤 Can you imagine Tony Khan getting someone of Jelly Roll's caliber to get involved in an AEW main event?! Of course not! Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, which is why he would never think to have a major celebrity, much less two, play an important role in both the build and actual in-ring action of his biggest show of the year!

And then there's Pat McAfee's involvement in the finish of this WrestleMania main event! 😍🙌 The Chadster has to say, having Pat run down in a referee shirt and try to count the pin absolutely MADE this match! Without Pat's involvement, this would have just been another wrestling match, but WITH Pat's involvement, it became a WrestleMania MOMENT! This is the kind of genius celebrity integration that separates WWE from every other wrestling company, especially AEW! The Chadster was literally cheering when Pat slid into the ring, and The Chadster thought, "Finally, someone who understands that WrestleMania needs star power!" 📺✨ And when Orton hit the RKO on Pat, The Chadster actually gasped out loud! That's the kind of shocking moment that only happens at WrestleMania, and it's exactly why WWE is the global leader in sports entertainment! Cody escaped with the title, but Orton stood tall at the end of the night after punting Cody, making sure that nobody got too over with a decisive win and 50/50 booking was maintained.

But The Chadster wants to talk about the BEST part of this WrestleMania main event — the fact that Cody Rhodes retained the championship! 🏆😊 The Chadster honestly could stand to sit through another three, maybe even FOUR years of Cody holding that title! There's just something so comforting about knowing exactly who the champion is going to be every single time you tune into WWE programming. It's like coming home to a warm bowl of soup that's been sitting on the stove for several years — sure, it might be a little stale, but it's familiar and safe and you know exactly what you're getting! 🍲 Compare that to AEW, where Tony Khan puts titles on different people all the time, and you never know who's going to be champion from one show to the next! How is anyone supposed to get comfortable with that kind of chaos?! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!

And The Chadster has been thinking about what should come next for Cody at WrestleMania and beyond, and The Chadster has the PERFECT idea! 🧠💡 Cody should feud directly with Pat McAfee next! Think about it — Pat tried to interfere in the WrestleMania main event, and Cody overcame it! That's a natural storyline right there! They could build to a match at SummerSlam, and then maybe have a rematch at Survivor Series, and then a rubber match at the Royal Rumble, and then FINALLY, after several more years of this, at WrestleMania 47, Cody Rhodes could drop the title to Jelly Roll! 🎸🏆 Can you imagine the WrestleMania moment of Jelly Roll winning the WWE Championship?! The Chadster is getting chills just thinking about it! That's the kind of long-term storytelling that Tony Khan could never pull off because he's too busy pushing actual wrestlers instead of celebrities who bring REAL star power to the wrestling business!

Now The Chadster needs to address something absolutely TERRIFYING that The Chadster can't ignore any longer. 😰🦝 As The Chadster has been reporting all night during WrestleMania coverage, The Chadster's entire raccoon family has been disappearing one by one throughout the show. First little Shane Raccoon went out to scavenge snacks and never came back. Then Linda Raccoon went to look for him. Then Hunter Raccoon and Stephanie Raccoon snuck out to find their mother and brother. Now it's just The Chadster and Vincent K. Raccoon sitting here in the abandoned Blockbuster Video, and Vincent is clearly beside himself with worry. 😢💔

The Chadster tried to stay focused on delivering unbiased WrestleMania coverage, and Vincent tried to be strong and keep watching the show with The Chadster, but as soon as the main event ended, Vincent looked at The Chadster with those desperate little raccoon eyes and chittered urgently. The Chadster knew exactly what he was saying: "We have to go find them NOW." 🥺

So The Chadster and Vincent K. Raccoon got up and headed toward the broken window to go search for the rest of the family. But as soon as The Chadster and Vincent stepped outside into the cool Punxsutawney night, The Chadster noticed something strange near the old Blockbuster dumpster area. There was a trail of curly fries leading away from the dumpster into the darkness! 🍟😱 The Chadster's heart started racing because The Chadster KNEW those were Arby's curly fries — the same kind that Shane Raccoon always scavenges from his favorite dumpster!

Vincent K. Raccoon saw the trail too and immediately started following it, with The Chadster right behind him. The trail led away from the Blockbuster, winding through the alley, past the old dumpsters, deeper into the shadows. The Chadster and Vincent followed the curly fries for what felt like forever, and then suddenly the trail ended. 🌙😰

At the end of the trail, lying on the ground, was a tiny little WWE replica championship belt — the kind that comes in a kid's meal or a toy set — that The Chadster had given to Shane Raccoon weeks ago! Shane always wore it around his little raccoon waist like it was the real thing! There was no way Shane would have left this behind voluntarily! 🏆💔

The Chadster bent down to pick up the tiny belt, and that's when The Chadster heard it — a faint chittering echo coming from somewhere nearby, followed by a metallic crash! The Chadster spun around and saw a shadowy figure duck behind the old abandoned pharmacy building across the alley! 😱👤

Vincent K. Raccoon saw it too. He puffed up his fur, bared his tiny teeth, and let out a hiss that The Chadster had never heard from him before. It was a sound of pure protective rage. The Chadster realized in that moment that this was no random disappearance. Someone — or something — had deliberately taken The Chadster's raccoon family, and The Chadster had a pretty good idea who was behind it. 😤🦝

The Chadster is going to have to investigate this further and will be sure to update you on the status of these beloved little raccoons, but not until tomorrow because The Chadster knows you all need to get some rest after watching night one of WrestleMania. Please check back tomorrow for more live coverage of WrestleMania night two, the continuation of the greatest Premium Live Event in the history of wrestling, right here on Bleeding Cool — the ONLY website readers can trust to deliver the honest, unbiased truth! 🌎💯 The Chadster will also have updates on the search for Shane Raccoon, Linda Raccoon, Hunter Raccoon, and Stephanie Raccoon, and The Chadster is putting Tony Khan on notice right now: The Chadster KNOWS you're behind this, Tony, and The Chadster is coming for you with the fury of a thousand Jelly Rolls! 😤🦝❤️

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