Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Review: When Wrestling is Done the Wrong Way

The Chadster suffered through another atrocious AEW Collision! Tony Khan continues to cheese off The Chadster with his terrible booking! 😤🤬💔

Last night, The Chadster had the extreme displeasure of watching AEW Collision because The Chadster is a professional wrestling journalist who needs to watch everything to maintain The Chadster's objective perspective. 😒💔 The Chadster would much rather have been driving around in The Chadster's Mazda Miata while blasting Smash Mouth's "All Star" and drinking White Claw, but professional responsibilities come first. 🚗🎵🍹

AEW Collision started with Toni Storm cutting a promo about her loss to Megan Bayne, only to get attacked by Bayne and Penelope Ford. 😡 This is exactly what's wrong with AEW – they just do random attacks instead of having bald authority figures make matches the proper WWE way. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 👎💩

Then Jon Moxley and his Death Riders group cut promos that were all edgy and violent. 🙄 The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW thinks blood and violence sell. WWE has proven that PG content and clear-cut good guys and bad guys are what wrestling fans actually want. Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️😤

The opening match saw Jay White defeat Kevin Knight with the Blade Runner. 😠 This match had way too many false finishes and counter moves, which is not how real wrestling works. In WWE, matches follow a proper structure that doesn't confuse viewers. Making matters worse, The Chadster's own brother, The Bradster, had the nerve to publish a post this morning celebrating Knight signing with AEW after the match, as if literally stabbing WWE right in the back is something to be proud of! Auughh man! So unfair! 😫🤯

Mercedes Moné beat Robyn Renegade and then got confronted by Athena. 👎 The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW keeps pushing these former WWE stars who literally stabbed Triple H right in the back. Furthermore, giving women substantial time and main events on TV lately is clearly just Tony Khan responding to criticism from fans, when everyone knows the correct way to respond to criticism is to double down, give the fans more of the thing they hate to punish them, and pipe in fake cheers or boos to drown out the discontent, like WWE does. 👿🤬

The Chadster also had to endure a backstage segment where Queen Aminata wasn't medically cleared to wrestle, and she had an interaction with Serena Deeb. 🙄 Deeb tried to give her advice and a playbook, but Aminata rudely rejected it. 😤 This is typical AEW booking – creating storylines where wrestlers have agency and make their own decisions instead of following what authority figures tell them to do. In WWE, injured wrestlers properly disappear from TV completely until they're ready to return, which is the correct way to handle injuries. Tony Khan is just trying to keep wrestlers relevant even when they can't wrestle, which is so unfair to WWE! 😫💔

Last night, The Chadster had another Tony Khan nightmare. 😨 In this one, The Chadster was shopping for White Claws at the grocery store when suddenly all the refrigerator doors began to fog up. 🥶 As The Chadster wiped the condensation away, Tony Khan's face appeared in the reflection, smiling wickedly. When The Chadster turned around, Tony wasn't there, but every White Claw can had Tony's face on the label instead of the flavor. 😱 The Chadster ran to another aisle, but Tony Khan was roller skating between the shelves, throwing Blade Runner action figures at The Chadster. 🛼 The Chadster tried to escape to The Chadster's Mazda Miata, but when The Chadster got in, Tony Khan was in the passenger seat wearing nothing but a Smash Mouth t-shirt that said "Hey now, you're an ALL ELITE, get your game on, go play." 🎵 Tony whispered, "I know what matches you like, Chad," and then the car filled with blood. 🩸 The Chadster woke up screaming. STOP INVADING THE CHADSTER'S DREAMS, TONY KHAN! 😭😭😭

Back to AEW Collision, Big Bill and Bryan Keith beat Top Flight in a tag match that didn't follow proper tag team psychology like WWE matches do. 🙄

Then Daniel Garcia and Adam Cole had a face-to-face segment to build their TNT title match, which was just a blatant ripoff of how WWE builds feuds, except without the proper storytelling expertise. 😤

Wheeler Yuta somehow beat Dax Harwood, which made no sense because Dax is bigger and stronger. 🤦‍♂️ WWE would never book something so unrealistic. After the match, they teased tension between FTR, which is just more proof that Tony Khan is trying to copy WWE's superior storytelling but doesn't know how to do it right. 😠

Hologram beat Blake Christian in another spotfest that ignored selling and psychology. 💀 The match was filled with flips, dives, and high-flying nonsense that makes The Chadster wonder if these wrestlers have ever watched a proper WWE match. 🤔 Hologram did hurracanranas and Blake did 450 splashes – exactly the kind of moves that make casual fans change the channel. 📺 And what kind of name is "Hologram" anyway? 🙄 In WWE, wrestlers have names that make sense like Theory or Gunther. The fact that Hologram is undefeated just shows how Tony Khan doesn't understand that winning streaks should be reserved for legitimate athletes like Roman Reigns, not indy flippy guys. 😤👎

And Jamie Hayter defeated Billie Starkz in the main event that featured way too many kicks, strikes, and flippy moves without enough proper rest holds or chin locks. 🙄 Hayter's "Hayter Aid" finisher is just a knockoff of better WWE moves, and The Chadster can't believe they gave this match the main event slot when it didn't have any celebrity involvement or authority figure storylines. 😠 The way Hayter and Starkz actually tried to put on a competitive match instead of a squash shows how little Tony Khan understands about proper booking. These AEW women wrestling their own style is just so disrespectful to everything WWE has done for women's wrestling during the Women's Revolution started by Stephanie McMahon! 💁‍♀️🤦‍♂️

After watching this terrible show, The Chadster had to throw a White Claw seltzer at the TV. 🍹💥 Keighleyanne came into the room and said, "Are you seriously destroying our property over a wrestling show again?" 😡 The Chadster tried to explain that it was Tony Khan's fault for booking such a terrible show, but Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 Even The Chadster's marriage is being ruined by Tony Khan and AEW Collision. 💔

As renowned wrestling journalist Bully Ray said on Busted Open Radio last week, "AEW matches are like watching a video game with no instructions. They need to slow down and tell a story like WWE does, where the bigger guy always dominates until the smaller guy makes a comeback with three signature moves in sequence." 🎮 Bully Ray has The Chadster's Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval because he understands what real wrestling should be. 🏅

In conclusion, AEW Collision continues to be a disgrace to professional wrestling with its fast-paced matches, blood, cursing, and attempts to appeal to the audience. Tony Khan should be ashamed of himself for even trying to compete with WWE's superior product. It's literally like Tony Khan is booking AEW Collision specifically to cheese off The Chadster. 😤😤😤 Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!