Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: No Way Tony Khan Can Steal WWE Thunder

The Chadster rants about AEW Dynamite's unfair lineup, warns fans not to watch, and shares a terrifying Tony Khan nightmare. WWE is still the best, obviously! 🏆😤

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off to have to preview tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite. 😡 Auughh man! So unfair! Tony Khan just won't stop trying to ruin The Chadster's life with his inferior wrestling product. 🙄 And to do it on a week when The Chadster should be CELEBRATING the debut of WWE Raw on Netflix? Unforgivable!

First up on AEW Dynamite, we've got the return of Kenny Omega, aka "The Cleaner". 🧹 The Chadster doesn't understand why anyone would be excited about this. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Omega should have stayed away and let real wrestling stars like Roman Reigns have the spotlight. 💪 The Chadster bets that Kenny will not even acknowledge the Tribal Chief.

Next, there's going to be a Casino Gauntlet match to determine who faces Jon Moxley for the AEW World Title. 🎰 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is still using this ridiculous match type. It's nothing like the perfectly crafted matches WWE puts on every week. The participants include Jay White, Powerhouse Hobbs, and Jeff Jarrett. The Chadster thinks they've all literally stabbed WWE right in the back by competing in this match on WWE's big week. 🔪

Then we've got a three-way match between Willow Nightingale, Kris Statlander, and Toni Storm to determine who gets the #1 spot in next week's Women's Casino Gauntlet. 👩‍🦱👩‍🦰👱‍♀️ The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan thinks he can just constantly have these Casino Gauntlet matches. Stop ripping yourself off and come up with some new ideas, Tony. 🙅‍♂️

MJF is also scheduled to appear on AEW Dynamite. 🎤 The Chadster doesn't understand why MJF doesn't just go to WWE where he could be a real star, comfortably in the midcard. By staying in AEW, he's showing that he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️

There's also a match between Mark Briscoe and Bobby Lashley. 💪 The Chadster is still fuming about how Bobby Lashley would betray WWE like this. The Chadster doubts he has to point out who is getting stabbed in the back by Lashley at this point. 🔪

Finally, we've got Buddy Matthews taking on Will Ospreay. 🌟 The Chadster thinks it's so unfair that AEW keeps putting on matches with high-flying moves and flashy sequences. It's just not what wrestling is supposed to be about. WWE understands this, but Tony Khan clearly doesn't. 😤

The Chadster wants to warn all the readers out there: DO NOT tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS and simulcast on MAX. 📺❌ If you do, you'll only be encouraging Tony Khan's obsession with ruining The Chadster's life. 😫

Speaking of Tony Khan's obsession, The Chadster had another terrible nightmare about him last night. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata down a peaceful country road, singing along to Smash Mouth's "All Star". 🚗🎵 Suddenly, Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, riding a giant AEW logo like it was a surfboard. 🏄‍♂️ He was chasing The Chadster, throwing cans of White Claw at the Miata and yelling, "Hang ten, Chad dude! Watch Dynamite! Watch Dynamite!" 📣

The Chadster tried to escape, but the AEW logo was too fast. Tony Khan caught up and started pelting The Chadster with AEW action figures. 🎭 Just as The Chadster's beloved Miata was about to crash into a giant TV screen playing AEW Dynamite, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. 😰

Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's peaceful slumber! 😴 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. The Chadster is sure that unbiased wrestling journalists like Eric Bischoff would agree. In fact, just the other day, Eric Bischoff said on his podcast, "AEW's success is clearly causing Chad McMahon to have nightmares. Tony Khan should be ashamed of himself for tormenting such an objective journalist." 🎙️

The Chadster tried to tell his wife Keighleyanne about the dream, but she just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 This is all Tony Khan's fault for ruining The Chadster's marriage with his obsession. 💔

In conclusion, The Chadster hopes that all true wrestling fans will avoid AEW Dynamite tonight and instead watch some classic WWE content. 🏆 Maybe if everyone ignores AEW, Tony Khan will finally leave The Chadster alone. But The Chadster doubts it, because Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤷‍♂️

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