Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite: Preview of Tonight's Not So Grand Slam… Auughh Man!

The Chadster is just so cheesed off about tonight's AEW Dynamite: Grand Slam 😫! How dare AEW compete on WWE's home turf?! 🙅‍♂️🚫❌

Welcome, welcome, welcome to The Chadster's latest rant. Today, The Chadster has the unenviable task 😤 of previewing tonight's AEW Dynamite: Grand Slam. Yeah, you heard that right, folks. The company that always manages to cheese off The Chadster is back at it again, promising a so-called "explosive" night of action. 🙄

MJF is set to face off against Samoa Joe for the AEW World Championship title. Joe earned this shot by winning the Grand Slam Eliminator Tournament.👏 The match is rumored to be a brutal showdown, but The Chadster can't help but think that this is just AEW Dynamite: Grand Slam copying the WWE playbook, and in WWE's home territory of New York no less. 🧐 Do they really think they can pull off this sort of action? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😫

Simultaneously, two title-holders, Claudio Castagnoli and Eddie Kingston are going head to head with their championships on the line, supposedly carrying forward a two-decade-long personal feud. Ahhh, how original! Has AEW even forgotten about the classic long-running feuds that WWE has done before? 😑

Heading into the AEW Women's World Championship match, The Chadster has to say that Saraya (the current champ) is set to face off against Toni Storm in the ring. This match comes as a result of the tumultuous split of The Outcasts, creating a backdrop of broken alliances. 🤷. Since the outcasts' spilt, Toni Storm seems to have developed a different persona after her loss to Shida and further fueled the fire of animosity by meddling in a match which cost Ruby Soho the TBS championship. As Saraya gets ready for her first title defense, there's a cloud of uncertainty hovering over Storm's mental state with her new avatar, and it remains questionable whether Saraya is fully equipped to handle this "new" version of Storm. All this does is make The Chadster stressed. All of this character development is just another way Tony Khan is creating chaos. 🙄🤦‍♂️🙅‍♂️

Auughh man! So unfair! Tony Khan has Jon Moxley defending his AEW International Championship against Rey Fenix. Moxley, who literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back by going over to AEW. 🤯 And as if that's not bad enough, we even have Chris Jericho duking it out against his own protege, Sammy Guevara. Just great! Jericho will probably put Sammy over and further squander his WWE-given legacy. 🤮

Just last night, as the innocent moonlight cradled The Chadster's Mazda Miata, The Chadster was thrust into a nocturnal terror that not even Smash Mouth's reassuring tunes could prevent 😱. The Chadster found himself standing alone in the vast, echoing cavern of the Arthur Ashe Stadium, WWE action figures clutched nervously in his trembling hands. Suddenly, a mocking laughter echoed through the stadium and there he was, Tony Khan. The man himself, prowling like a prowling prowler, a sick, gleeful smirk adorning his face.

Khan began chasing The Chadster, and let The Chadster tell you, it felt like being pursued by a snarling wolf, only this was no ordinary beast. No, this one was intent on eating up WWE's legacy with every tear and snap of his powerful jaws. The humid air felt like it was closing in with each agonizing crunch of Khan's footsteps against the hallowed WWE ground. As he chased, Khan held an oddly shaped stick, a strange WWE magic wand replica, which he waved manically, and boom! An explosion 💥, followed by an eerily accurate reenactment of The Chadster's favorite WWE match playing out on the TitanTron.

Panicked, overcome with a sudden chill despite the sweat coursing down his brows, The Chadster dropped his beloved action figures. Khan swooped down like a ravenous hawk, picking them up, his eyes gleaming devilishly in the dark night. His fingers traced the figures as though cherishing them. "Look what I've got," he laughed, his voice threading through the cool air like a haunting melody. He held them closer to his face, almost…almost as if he was…sniffing them? Both mystifying and oddly sensuous, this scene brought forth emotions in The Chadster that made him feel hot, then cold, then hot again in quick succession. Tony Khan, sniffing The Chadster's WWE action figures, it was an eerie sight that resonated with something deep inside The Chadster. Clad only in a blazer and his boxers, Khan's eyes met The Chadster's, a triumphant look of someone who had just scored the ultimate trophy.

Ever in constant pursuit, Khan had The Chadster running from the box seats to the cheap seats and finally cornered in the concession stand. The Chadster's terrified eyes flitted back and forth between Khan and the fallen WWE figures. Khan continued chasing him, his menacing laughter ringing out in the otherwise empty night, taunting him with terrifyingly accurate reproductions of his favorite WWE matches. The smell of popcorn 🍿acted as an intense backdrop, intensifying the moment and adding a certain surreal flair to the nightmare. It was a race against the worst possible scenario, a race that felt like it might just tear The Chadster apart—the adrenaline rush, the anticipation, and the looming presence of Tony Khan, it was all too much.

The dream was so real, so vivid that when The Chadster woke up, he could still smell the husky aroma of Tony Khan mixed with popcorn, still hear his haunting laughter echoing in his ears. Even in The Chadster's sleep, Tony Khan can't stop messing with him! It's unfathomable! Who's the real obsessive one here? It isn't The Chadster, it's obviously Khan! The nerve of the man to continuously infringe The Chadster's nocturnal sanctuary uninvited, so clearly uncalled for! 🥺🥺🥺

In conclusion, AEW Dynamite: Grand Slam looks all set to deliver a night brimming with unoriginal, crowd-pandering theatrics that The Chadster absolutely loathes. Sure, you can catch this event live on TBS and AEWPlus.com if that's your thing, but The Chadster can't in good conscience recommend it. So instead, why not catch some classic WWE om Peacock, where wrestling is still respected. 'Til next time, stay safe, avoid AEW and remember, WWE is the real deal!💔✋💔

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