Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: Tony Khan Defies the New WWE Attitude Era

Tony Khan's latest AEW Dynamite lineup ignores the fact that WWE is experiencing a revival of the Attitude Era thanks to The Rock and CM Punk! 🤬

Auughh man! So unfair! 😡 The Chadster just can't believe what Tony Khan is trying to pull with this week's episode of AEW Dynamite. 😤 Does he really think he can compete with the glory of WWE's Attitude Era revival? 🤔 Everyone knows that The Rock beating up Cody Rhodes and CM Punk's sweet promo on WWE Raw earlier this week was pure wrestling gold! 🌟 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it for Tony Khan to even try to follow that up. 😠

But of course, Tony Khan is booking this episode of Dynamite specifically to cheese The Chadster off. 🙄 Why else would he have Katsuyori Shibata facing Will Ospreay in a rematch seven years in the making? 🤬 Sure, it might be an exciting dream match for some people, but it will never live up to the epic encounters The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin had in WWE back in the Attitude Era, which everyone agrees is back! 💪 Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😒

And don't even get The Chadster started on Konosuke Takeshita vs Swerve Strickland! 😩 Why is Tony Khan wasting our time with this match when we could be watching Roman Reigns defend his titles in WWE? 🤴 It's clear that Tony Khan is just trying to steal WWE's thunder, but he'll never succeed. WWE is the greatest wrestling company in the world and always will be! 💯

The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is bringing back the AEW World Tag Title Tournament either. 😒 The Young Bucks vs Private Party? The Undisputed Kingdom vs Orange Cassidy & Trent Beretta? 🙄 Give The Chadster a break! None of these teams can hold a candle to the legendary tag teams of WWE like The New Age Outlaws or The Hardy Boyz (members of which were great in the Attitude Era, but are total garbage today in AEW, Road Dogg excluded of course since he never betrayed WWE like that). 🤼‍♂️ It's just another futile attempt by Tony Khan to try to upstage WWE. 😤

And don't even get The Chadster started on this TBS Championship #1 Contender match. 🙄 Kris Statlander, Willow Nightingale, Skye Blue, and Anna Jay might be talented wrestlers, but they'll never be as iconic as legends Trish Stratus or Lita, who laid the groundwork for the current Women's Evolution in WWE that AEW can never compete with. 💁‍♀️ Tony Khan is just wasting everyone's time with this match. 😴

The Chadster is begging you, Tony Khan, please just give up already! 🙏 Cancel AEW, stop trying to ruin The Chadster's life, and leave the wrestling business to the professionals at WWE. 😭 The Chadster has suffered enough at your hands, and it's time for it to end. 😓 Why don't you go join a book club or something instead of constantly trying to one-up WWE? 📚 You'll never succeed, so just stop trying already! 😫

Auughh man! So unfair! 😠 The Chadster had another one of those recurring nightmares about Tony Khan last night, and this one was a doozy. 😫 The Chadster doesn't know why Tony Khan is so obsessed with The Chadster that he has to invade The Chadster's dreams like this, but it's really not cool. 😒

In the dream, it was late at night and Keighleyanne had already gone to bed. 🛌 The Chadster snuck out to the garage to sit in the Mazda Miata 🚗, listen to Smash Mouth on the cassette deck 📼, and enjoy a refreshing White Claw 🥤, as The Chadster often does. The Chadster was just relaxing, sipping the seltzer and humming along to "All Star" 🎵, minding The Chadster's own business. 😌

Suddenly, the passenger door flew open and there was Tony Khan, grinning maniacally in the dim light! 😨 Before The Chadster could even react, Tony Khan grabbed The Chadster by the collar and dragged The Chadster out of the car and onto the cold concrete floor of the garage! 😱 Tony Khan loomed over The Chadster, his eyes gleaming with crazed intent. 👀

Then the beating began. 👊💥 Tony Khan pummeled The Chadster mercilessly, throwing lefts and rights, his punches smashing into The Chadster's face like a barrage of sledgehammers. 🔨 The Chadster tried to fight back, but it was useless. Tony Khan was an unstoppable monster, possessed with an almost erotic passion as he brutalized The Chadster. 😰💦

Tony Khan grabbed a weight belt from the garage shelf, one that had "Mama Chadster" printed on it, clearly a reference to The Rock on WWE Raw this week. 🏋️‍♀️ He wrapped it around his fist and continued the assault, the rough leather leaving painful welts on The Chadster's skin. 😖 The Chadster could feel the belt buckle cutting into The Chadster's flesh, drawing blood. 🩸😭

Through bleary eyes, The Chadster watched as Tony Khan smeared the blood on the weight belt, cackling with mad glee. 🤪 The beating seemed to go on forever, an endless nightmare of pain and degradation, all tinged with a forbidden, shameful feeling… something like… desire? 😳🔥

Finally, mercifully, The Chadster awoke with a start, covered in a cold sweat! 😰💦 The Chadster looked over to see Keighleyanne still sleeping soundly beside him. 😴 Her phone was lighting up with notifications, no doubt from that guy Gary. 📱 The Chadster shuddered, the horrible dream still fresh in The Chadster's mind. 😫

Tony Khan has really gone too far this time! 😠 It's one thing to compete with WWE during WrestleMania season, but it's just so disrespectful of him to invade The Chadster's dreams like this. 😒 The Chadster doesn't know what kind of twisted obsession Tony Khan has with The Chadster 🤔, but he needs to stop! 🛑 The Chadster is a happily married man! 💍 Well, The Chadster would be, if Tony Khan wasn't ruining The Chadster's marriage. 😡

The Chadster just doesn't understand why Tony Khan is so focused on The Chadster. 🤷‍♂️ It's almost like Tony Khan doesn't have anything better to do than torment The Chadster with these erotic nightmares. 💭🔥 Well, The Chadster has a message for Tony Khan: The Chadster is not interested! 😤 Leave The Chadster alone, Tony Khan! 😫 Go focus on AEW and leave The Chadster alone!

The Chadster warns all his loyal readers not to tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS. 🚫 Watching the show will only encourage Tony Khan's bad behavior. 😠 If you want to see some real wrestling, just rewatch Monday's episode of Raw instead. 😍 The Rock showed why he's the greatest of all time and why no AEW star can ever compare to him. 🙌

The Chadster wants to give a shout-out to his homies in the Unbiased Journalism Club – Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger. 🤜🤛 Let's get together for a Smash Mouth listening party after Dynamite to recover from the torture Tony Khan is putting us through. 🎧 The Chadster will bring the White Claw! 🍻

And if that guy Gary is reading this, stop texting The Chadster's wife during Dynamite! 😡 She needs to see the emotional damage Tony Khan is inflicting on her husband. 😭 It's time for her to take The Chadster's side in this fight against the menace that is AEW! 💪

Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 The Chadster just can't take it anymore! 😭😭😭

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