Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: Tony Khan Ruins Valentine's Day

The Chadster spills the truth on AEW's latest plans to cheese off WWE fans on Valentine's Day. Will The Chadster's marriage survive AEW Dynamite?! 🤼‍♂️💔

Howdy, wrestling fans! 🤼‍♂️🎉 It's The Chadster here to give you the latest scoop on what might be the most infuriating episode of AEW Dynamite yet! Hold on to your replica championship belts because The Chadster is about to detail all the reasons why this upcoming episode is like a bad body slam to fans of proper wrestling everywhere, and especially to The Chadster's own perfectly good Valentine's Day. 😡💔

Prepare yourselves as The Chadster vents about how tonight, on the so-called "greatest professional wrestling on the planet," 🙄 you'll see people like Adam Copeland and Daniel Garcia duke it out for the TNT Championship opportunity, which is apparently a thing people care about if they don't appreciate the true artistry of WWE's title scenes. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

But, get this, Tony Khan has really cheesed The Chadster off this time. Keighleyanne, The Chadster's usually inattentive wife, actually wanted to spend some quality time on Valentine's Day, believe it or not. And what happens? The Chadster has to sit through AEW Dynamite because Tony Khan keeps taunting The Chadster with these shows. So unfair how he ruins a holy evening of love and appreciation with his wrestling alternative. 😞💢 And of course, now Keighleyanne is back to texting that guy Gary, which is a clear result of Tony Khan's meddling in The Chadster's personal life! Typical Khan, making a man's wife ignore him on the day of romance! 😠📲

And now, let's get into the thick of it with Willow Nightingale face-off against Skye Blue. Former friends turned foes, which is a storyline copied directly from multiple superior WWE storylines, if The Chadster might add. 🤷‍♂️ It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it to see AEW trotting out these imitations week after week.

Then we've got this Texas Death Match between Orange Cassidy and Matt Taven. A death match! As if gimmick matches are needed to make a wrestling show interesting! WWE has mastered the art of storytelling in the ring, without having to resort to these silly over-the-top scenarios. 🎭✨ It's clear these AEW folks don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

Also, FTR's Dax Harwood is set to brawl with Jon Moxley. Auughh man! So unfair! Why must AEW continue to thumb their noses at the wrestling conventions laid out by the WWE? And why did Tony Khan have to book this on Valentine's Day of all days? Does he not have a heart?

Now, speaking of hearts, let's circle back to the Valentine's Day debacle courtesy of Tony Khan. The Chadster wanted to have a nice evening witgh Keighleyanne – maybe take the Mazda Miata for a spin under the moonlight while rocking out to the righteous tunes of Smash Mouth. 🚗🎶 But no, The Chadster is being forced to watch AEW Dynamite, fuming as Keighleyanne looks over The Chadster's shoulder with growing resentment. 😡💔 It's absolutely Tony Khan's fault for placing this tempting wedge of wrestling cheese right in the middle of what was supposed to be a day dedicated to love and not lariats.

As The Chadster wraps up this most distressing preview, just remember that while you could watch AEW Dynamite, you really shouldn't. It's full of tactics meant to tantalize viewers with cheap thrills instead of the emotional storytelling and superb in-ring psychology you get with WWE. And if you're looking for objective journalism, you're better off sticking with The Chadster and other unbiased professionals like Ryan Satin. Will they too suffer at the hands of Tony Khan's vendetta against quality wrestling journalists? 🤔📝

So, tune out AEW Dynamite if you have any respect for the traditions of professional wrestling, and save yourselves from contributing to Tony Khan's crusade against romantic evenings everywhere. Until next time, keep your seltzers unthrown, your marriages intact, and your wrestling pure, WWE-style. ✌🥂

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