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The Chadster suffers through another Tony Khan nightmare at ROH Final Battle. Will this torment ever end? Spoiler: It won't as long as AEW exists! 😡🤬
Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling
AEW Dynamite Review: Adam Cole Speaks as The Chadster Weeps
The Chadster's unbiased review of AEW Dynamite! Tony Khan's latest attempt to ruin wrestling and The Chadster's life. Plus, a White Claw-fueled nightmare! 😱🍺
Article Summary
- AEW Dynamite review: Adam Cole's promo disrupts wrestling traditions.
- Main event spotlight: Jay White vs. Christian Cage clash with high-impact risks.
- FTR's tag team strategy defies WWE norms, causing controversy.
- Mercedes Moné and Queen Aminata's match outrages WWE loyalists.
The Chadster is cheesed off beyond belief after watching last night's episode of AEW Dynamite. 😡😡😡 Tony Khan has once again gone out of his way to literally stab Triple H and all true, righteous, WWE-loving wrestling fans right in the back with this disgraceful excuse for a wrestling show. Auughh man! So unfair!
The show kicked off with Adam Cole cutting a promo on MJF. 🙄 The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW insists on having their wrestlers talk so much. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. In WWE, wrestlers know their place and stick to the script. But in AEW, they just ramble on and on, saying whatever they want. It's chaos!
Then we had a tag team match with FTR facing Big Bill and Bryan Keith. 🤦♂️ The Chadster couldn't believe his eyes when he saw FTR actually using tag team wrestling tactics. Don't they know that's not how wrestling is supposed to work? In WWE, tag team matches are all about one person getting beat up for ten minutes before making a hot tag. AEW's insistence on having actual tag team strategy is just so disrespectful to groundwork laid by WWE over decades.
The TBS Championship match between Mercedes Moné and Queen Aminata was next. 😤 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is still trying to make Mercedes a thing. She literally stabbed WWE right in the back by believing her own self-worth was more important than the opinions of WWE management, and now Tony Khan is rewarding her for it. Bruce Pritchard is probably in tears right now, you monster!
The trios match featuring The Elite and The Conglomeration was a complete mess. 🤯 The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW insists on having so many people in the ring at once. It's like they're trying to confuse the audience on purpose. In WWE, we know that wrestling is best when it's one-on-one, and when WWE does have six-person tasks, it's done the right way, the WWE way. The match ended with Jon Moxley and his crew beating everyone up, which is clearly a ripoff of all the times WWE has had wrestlers interrupt matches and beat people up. Get your own ideas, Tony Khan!
Shelton Benjamin had a match against Lio Rush, which The Chadster actually thought was okay until he remembered that Shelton Benjamin used to be in WWE, and yet he's completely ungrateful for that apparently just because they couldn't come up with anything for him to and released him. 😠 Whose fault is that?! Certainly not WWE's. Now he's in AEW, along with MVP, which means they've both literally stabbed Triple H right in the back. How much more of this can poor Triple H take?! The Chadster just can't support that kind of betrayal.
The press conference with Don Callis and his family was just ridiculous. 🙄 The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW needs to have press conferences. In WWE, we know that wrestling is best when everything is settled in the ring, not with fake press conferences.
Finally, the main event between Jay White and Christian Cage was just so disrespectful to the wrestling business. 😤 The Chadster couldn't believe his eyes when he saw main eventers taking risks and engaging in high-impact wrestling. Doesn't AEW know that main eventers need to be protected and TV matches are supposed to be about rest holds and rolling around on the mat?
Overall, this episode of AEW Dynamite was just another example of how Tony Khan and AEW don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤬 It's clear that they're just trying to cheese off The Chadster, and it's working.
Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another nightmare about him last night. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata down a lonely highway, singing along to Smash Mouth's "All Star," when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror. He was riding a giant bottle of White Claw seltzer like it was a horse, chasing after The Chadster at breakneck speed. This is a common theme in The Chadster's dream, and he has to blame Hangman Adam Page for it.
The Chadster tried to outrun him, but the Miata just wasn't fast enough. Tony Khan caught up and started pelting The Chadster with copies of AEW Dynamite DVDs. Each one that hit the car made a sound like Jim Ross yelling "Bah Gawd!" It was terrifying. 😰
Just as Tony Khan was about to catch The Chadster, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. Keighleyanne was already awake, texting that guy Gary as usual. The Chadster tried to tell her about the dream, but she just rolled her eyes and said, "Maybe if you stopped obsessing over AEW and drinking a dozen White Claws every night, you wouldn't have these nightmares, Chad."
But The Chadster knows the truth. It's Tony Khan who's obsessed with The Chadster, not the other way around. Why else would he keep booking AEW Dynamite in a way that he knows will upset The Chadster? It's just so unfair. 😢
The Chadster hopes that one day, Tony Khan will realize the error of his ways and stop trying to compete with WWE. Until then, The Chadster will continue to be the voice of unbiased journalism in the wrestling world, exposing AEW for the sham that it is. And that's the bottom line, because The Chadster said so! 💪💪💪
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