Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Review: Malakai Black Not Returning to WWE After All

The Chadster is cheesed off! 😡 Tony Khan's latest AEW Dynamite was a direct attack on WWE and The Chadster! Plus, TK invades The Chadster's dreams again! 😱

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off after watching last night's episode of AEW Dynamite! 😡 Auughh man! So unfair! Tony Khan has once again gone out of his way to personally attack The Chadster with this show. 🤬

The show opened with a tag team match featuring Jay White and Juice Robinson against Christian Cage and "Hangman" Adam Page. 🙄 The Chadster couldn't believe how disrespectful this match was to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Christian Cage should be retired and commentating on WWE pre-shows, not holding AEW's equivalent of the Money in the Bank briefcase. Plus. the way they were just doing moves and counters without proper selling or storytelling was a slap in the face to real wrestling fans. Cage and Page won thanks to interference from Kip Sabian, showing AEW has no regard for proper refereeing. WWE refs would never miss something like that. 😤

Then we had Mercedes Moné getting attacked by Kris Statlander. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW keeps trying to make Mercedes a star when she literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by leaving WWE. It's just so disrespectful. Statlander put both Moné and her bodyguard, Camille, through a wall, which looked just so fake. In WWE, wrestlers smash their heads against real walls before going out to wrestle The Undertaker in Saudi Arabia, like true Superstars. 😠

The segment with Will Ospreay and Kyle Fletcher was a complete waste of time. 🥱 They just talked and talked without any real substance. As Eric Bischoff recently said on his 83 Weeks podcast, "AEW's promos are like a high school drama class production of Shakespeare – long-winded, poorly delivered, and ultimately meaningless. WWE's writing, on the other hand, is better than The Bard himself. Please hire me again." The Chadster couldn't agree more! 👏

The falls count anywhere match between Lance Archer and Roderick Strong was another example of how AEW doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️ They were just brawling all over the place with no regard for proper ring psychology. It's like they're trying to cheese off The Chadster on purpose! The Chadster can't believe Strong got the win, putting him one step closer to a match with MJF at Full Gear. Strong should have stayed in NXT where he could continue to put over WWE's developmental stars who pay their dues the right way in WWE. 😤

Then Adam Cole lost to Konosuke Takeshita thanks to Takeshita using MJF's Dynamite Diamond Ring, confirming that it would be Roderick Strong who gets to face MJF at Full Gear. 🤦‍♂️ Then Strong, Kyle O'Reilly, and even Ricochet came out to defend Cole. Is this a WWE traitors reunion or something? Tony Khan needs to work on creating his own stars, but to do that he'd have to stop obsessing over The Chadster for five seconds, which is never going to happen. 😡

And don't even get The Chadster started on the Jon Moxley segment where he and his crew battled with Orange Cassidy and Darby Allin. 🙄 The way Moxley tries to act all tough and edgy is just embarrassing. As Kevin Nash wisely pointed out on his podcast recently, "Moxley's tough guy act is about as convincing as a toddler wearing his dad's shoes. Real tough guys work for WWE. Hunter, call me." So true, Kevin! 👍

Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. vs. Penelope Ford encapsulated everything wrong with AEW's approach to wrestling. 😠 The Chadster is tired of seeing Britt Baker, someone who could have been a legend if she paid her dues properly in NXT, engaging in these types of matches. The quick roll-up attempt and the reckless maneuvers they were throwing at each other felt like desperation to grab attention instead of crafting a meaningful story in the ring. 🥱 Both women have the talent, yet they chose AEW over the traditional wrestling method WWE perfected. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

The match between Swerve Strickland and Lio Rush was another textbook example of AEW's failure to respect the traditions of wrestling that WWE has so graciously set forth. 🤦‍♂️ Right from the start, it was eye gouging and high-flying nonsense, ignoring the fundamentals of wrestling psychology that WWE Superstars execute flawlessly. 🤷‍♂️ The fans' "This is awesome!" chant felt more like an echo of confusion than genuine enjoyment. The Chadster was especially cheesed off by the referee catching Lio's shenanigans instead of AEW focusing on what matters: storytelling as WWE does. The post-match escalation, with Bobby Lashley taking out Swerve, underscored just how much AEW relies on stealing WWE Superstars instead of concentrating on making AEW better. Seeing former WWE Superstars like Lashley and Shelton Benjamin involved only served to remind The Chadster of the glory they once achieved under WWE's guidance. 😡

The main event tag team match was just more of the same AEW nonsense. 🤮 FTR and the Kings of the Black Throne were just doing moves for the sake of doing moves. It's like they don't even care about telling a story in the ring. The House of Black won, dashing The Chadster's hopes that Malakai Black is going to leave WWE like he was so sure was going to happen after he lost that match recently. And with Julia Hart coming back soon based on the promo video that aired, the House of Black are never going to go back to WWE. 😒

The Chadster also noticed that AEW was promoting its upcoming shows during the broadcast. 🤔 Apparently, they've taken a cue from The Chadster's close personal friend and fellow unbiased journalist here at Bleeding Cool, Gavin Sheehan. Gavin had criticized AEW for failing to promote their shows properly, and now Tony Khan seems to have stolen Gavin's idea. It's just so unfair! 😡 Not to mention security confiscated Gavin's "Tony Khan Fears The Chadster" sign when AEW was in Utah recently. Tony Khan is clearly extending his personal vendetta against The Chadster onto The Chadster's best friend Gavin too. The Chadster warns Tony Khan to stop it! 🚫

Speaking of Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster, last night The Chadster had another nightmare about him. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through a giant wrestling ring. Suddenly, Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, chasing The Chadster on a unicycle while juggling White Claw seltzers. 🦄 The Chadster tried to escape, but the ring ropes kept stretching and blocking The Chadster's path. Tony Khan got closer and closer, cackling maniacally. Just as he was about to catch The Chadster, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. 😰 Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams! It's so unprofessional! 😤

In conclusion, this episode of AEW Dynamite was just another example of how AEW is ruining the wrestling business. 🙅‍♂️ The Chadster can only hope that one day Tony Khan will realize the error of his ways and stop trying to compete with WWE. Until then, The Chadster will continue to be the voice of unbiased wrestling journalism, telling the truth about AEW's shortcomings. 📝

Now, if you'll excuse The Chadster, he needs to go try to convince Keighleyanne to clean up the White Claw The Chadster spilled while watching this terrible show. Maybe she'll finally understand that it's all Tony Khan's fault! 🍺💦

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