Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite: Unfair Pit Stop on the Road to Forbidden Door

Prepare to be cheesed off 🧀 with tonight's AEW Dynamite matches, a Tony Khan avian assault, & more! WWE fans beware! 💣🚨

🚨🚨🚨Auughh man! So unfair!🚨🚨🚨The Chadster can't believe that after enduring the absolute horror of watching AEW Collision last weekend and seeing that traitor CM Punk in action, he has to deal with the upcoming AEW Dynamite tonight, doubling down on the misery! 😡 Tony Khan is really out to get The Chadster, and it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

Tonight's matches and segments for AEW Dynamite are probably going to drive The Chadster up the wall, but here goes:

🙄We have a TBS Championship Match with Kris Statlander(c) taking on Taya Valkyrie. Of course, they're trying to showcase women's wrestling like WWE already does so well, but we all know they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, right? 🤦‍♂️In a ridiculous Tag Team Match, Orange Cassidy &ROH Pure Champion Katsuyori Shibata are going against NJPW World TV Champion Zack Sabre Jr. & Daniel Garcia. How can they even expect The Chadster to keep up with all these titles? WWE just does it better!

But that's not all. 😒The Gunns (Austin & Colten) are facing The Hardys (Jeff & Matt) and claiming they're the best brother tag team in AEW. Wow, never heard that one before… It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business. 😤Mark Briscoe vs. Jeff Jarrett in a Concession Stand Brawl? Talk about unoriginal and a desperate attempt to grab attention. WWE doesn't have to resort to these cheap tactics, and these AEW guys just don't get it. Moving on: 🤬Token Trios Match Alert: Chris Jericho, Minoru Suzuki, & Sammy Guevara are up against Action Andretti, AR Fox, & Darius Martin. Poor Jericho, it's such a shame to see him here. He's literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back, though, so he deserves it. We'll also hear from Bryan Danielson, Eddie Kingston, and Adam Cole, which is the last thing The CHadster wants.

Speaking of Tony Khan, it seems even when The Chadster is not watching wrestling, he can't catch a break from Tony's torment. Last night, while The Chadster was taking out the trash, he heard a strange hooting sound like an owl coming from a nearby tree. As much as The Chadster tried to ignore it, he couldn't shake the feeling that it had something to do with Tony Khan.

In a reluctant effort to solve the mystery, The Chadster climbed the tree, only to slip and fall, hitting his head on the ground. Boom! 💥 The Chadster was instantly knocked unconscious where he had the most restful sleep he's had in ages, with no nightmares about Tony Khan at all. Unfortunately for The Chadster, he eventually woke up on the ground, only to find that an owl had relieved itself on him while he was sleeping. Ugh, so gross! 😠Of course, The Chadster knows this was all Tony Khan's doing, and he'll have his revenge.

If for some reason, you want to subject yourself to AEW Dynamite tonight, it starts at 8pm ET/7pm CT on TBS, but The Chadster would advise against it. Consider yourselves warned, folks.

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