Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, Rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage Preview: A Very Black Friday Indeed

Black Friday is a uniquely American holiday, and as a unique American, The Chadster has always been a big fan. Is it as sensual and exciting as Groundhog Day? No, but then again, nothing is. But you can't beat Black Friday when it comes to celebrating the American experience of consumerism, which is why The Chadster feels that Tony Khan is literally an enemy of democracy because he is trying to prevent The Chadster from celebrating Black Friday by airing this week's episode of AEW Rampage at a special early start time. Auughh man! So unfair!

First, Tony Khan got The Chadster permanently banned from Auntie Anne's pretzels by forming AEW in 2019, causing The Chadster to get into arguments with customers when The Chadsdter worked there, and now The Chadster can't take advantage of buy one get one free pretzels, which Tony Khan is probably laughing about right now. And now, The Chadster can't even concentrate on trying to find great deals because The Chadster knows that, by 4PM this afternoon, Tony Khan will issue yet another personal attack at The Chadster via AEW Rampage, airing at 4/3C on TNT.

The Chadster was at Best Buy this morning, waiting in line for the doors to open so he could get his hands on a brand new Apple Watch. The Chadster had been eyeing the new Apple Watch for weeks and was determined to get his hands on one as soon as possible. So when the doors finally opened and The Chadster saw the person in front of him wearing an AEW t-shirt, The Chadster lost it. The Chadster started screaming and cursing at the person, accusing them of being a plant by Tony Khan to ruin Black Friday for The Chadster. The Chadster was so irate that the person ended up calling security and The Chadster was escorted out of the store. As The Chadster was being escorted out, The Chadster saw the person in the AEW t-shirt walking away with a brand new Apple Watch. Thanks a lot, Tony Khan! The Chadster hopes you're happy!

The Chadster was so enraged after being kicked out of Best Buy that The Chadster decided to go to Walmart and buy a new iPad instead. The Chadster had been wanting an iPad for months and this was finally The Chadster's chance to get one. But when The Chadster got to Walmart, who was in line ahead of The Chadster but the same guy in the AEW t-shirt! The Chadster couldn't believe it. The Chadster started screaming and cursing at the guy again, but it was too late. The guy had already bought the last iPad and The Chadster was left empty-handed. Dang it, Tony Khan! Not again!

The Chadster was so despondent after being unable to buy an iPad at Walmart that The Chadster decided to go to Target in hopes of buying a new pair of airpods. The Chadster had been wanting airpods for a while and this was finally The Chadster's chance to get them. But when The Chadster got to Target, who was in line ahead of The Chadster but the same guy in the AEW t-shirt! The Chadster couldn't believe it. The Chadster started screaming and cursing at the guy again, and this time The Chadster was so disorderly that the mall police were called and The Chadster was arrested. It took The Chadster two hours to be released from mall jail, and by that time, all the best doorbusters in the entire mall were gone, and The Chadster had traded his anal virginity for a pack of vapes. This is the last straw, Tony Khan! The Chadster is going to sue you for ruining Black Friday!

But first, The Chadster is obligated to tell everyone about tonight's episode of AEW Rampage, which is going to feature Top Flight vs. FTR, Dark Order vs. Rush, The Butcher, and The Blade, Anthony Henry vs. Darby Allin, Hikaru Shida in action, and a promo by Chris Jericho. Rampage airs at 4/3C, but if you care about The Chadster and his Black Friday experience at all, you won't watch it.

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