Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, wrestling

AEW Rampage Preview: An Un-American Attack on The Chadster

The Chadster warns about AEW Rampage's anti-American assault on wrestling! Tony Khan's latest attempt to ruin The Chadster's life and disrespect WWE. 😤🇺🇸

The Chadster is about to throw up 🤢 because tonight, AEW Rampage is once again trying to cheese off The Chadster and disrespect the wrestling business. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 It's bad enough that Tony Khan has the audacity to run a wrestling show on any night of the week, but to do it right after Independence Day? That's just spitting in the face of America itself! 🇺🇸

The Chadster had planned to celebrate America's freedom all week long by chugging patriotic Red, White, and Blue White Claws, but now The Chadster will have to waste them by throwing them at the TV when AEW Rampage comes on. 😡 This is exactly the kind of thing that makes The Chadster's White Claw-drinking arm so sore. Tony Khan owes The Chadster so many White Claws at this point!

Let's take a look at what Tony Khan has cooked up to try and ruin The Chadster's weekend, shall we? 😒

First up, we've got the Women's Owen Hart Foundation Tournament Semifinal match between Hikaru Shida and Mariah May. 🙄 The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW keeps trying to make their women's division a thing. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤 WWE perfected women's wrestling with The Women's Evolution (TM), but AEW thinks they can do better with actual wrestling? Give The Chadster a break!

Then we've got RUSH taking on Komander in a singles match. 🙄 The Chadster bets they'll do all sorts of flips and high-flying moves that will make the crowd go wild. But do you know what that does? It literally stabs Triple H right in the back! 🔪 WWE wrestlers know how to tell a story in the ring without relying on cheap thrills.

Next, we've got a tag team match with the Don Callis Family (Konosuke Takeshita & Kyle Fletcher) facing Private Party. 😑 The Chadster can already predict that this match will be full of synchronized moves and fast-paced action that will make the fans cheer. But you know what? Those fans don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️ Tag team wrestling is supposed to be slow and methodical, with lots of rest holds. That's how WWE does it, and they're the gold standard!

And finally, Kyle O'Reilly is in action tonight. 😠 The Chadster can't believe Kyle O'Reilly would betray WWE like this. He literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW. The Chadster hopes Triple H is doing okay after all these betrayals. 💔

The Chadster is so cheesed off in advance about this episode of AEW Rampage that last night, The Chadster had another Tony Khan nightmare. 😱 In this one, The Chadster was driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata (which is a very cool car, by the way) when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the passenger seat! 😨 He was wearing a Smash Mouth t-shirt and drinking The Chadster's last White Claw. Tony Khan looked at The Chadster and said, "Hey now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play… AEW!" Then he laughed maniacally as the car filled up with White Claw. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 😢 Tony Khan, please stop invading The Chadster's dreams!

The Chadster wants to warn all the unbiased wrestling fans out there: do NOT tune into AEW Rampage tonight at 10/9C on TNT. 🚫📺 If you do, you'll only be encouraging Tony Khan's obsession with ruining The Chadster's life. Instead, why not rewatch some classic WWE programming? That's what The Chadster will be doing, right after cleaning up all the White Claw The Chadster's about to throw at the TV. 🧹🍺

In conclusion, The Chadster just wants to say: Tony Khan, why can't you see that what you're doing is so unfair to WWE and especially to The Chadster? 😭 The Chadster is one of the only unbiased journalists left in wrestling, and this is the thanks The Chadster gets? Auughh man! So unfair! 😤🎤

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