Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage Review: Betrayal, Manipulation, and Tangy Trickery

The Chadster vents about Tony Khan's latest disrespectful AEW Rampage booking and a bitter supermarket standoff! Auugh man! 😠

Auughh, man! The Chadster can't believe what Tony Khan just went and did on the latest airing of AEW Rampage. The audacity of Khan's blatant disrespect to the wrestling business is enough to spoil The Chadster's well-deserved wind-down on a Friday night, and perhaps more importantly, disturb his White Claw seltzer consumption. So unfair! 😡

The opening match saw Naturally Limitless take on The Jericho Appreciation Society's Angelo Parker & Matt Menard. It wasn't so terrible until Keith Lee decided he could just because a human projectile machine. Can you believe it? Tossing Dustin Rhodes onto, not just one, but two opponents! 😱 How utterly uncivilized, unlike the polished WWE matches The Chadster prefers.

The evening got worse when Keith Lee actually won the match for his team in blatant disregard of the craft. The Chadster sure does hope Vince McMahon isn't watching and facepalming this behemoth of a mess. The Chadster doesn't understand how AEW gets away with such shenanigans and Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😠

The main event of the night was the Women's Tournament Semi-Final Match between "The Fallen Goddess" Athena and Willow Nightingale. It was Willow who prevailed, to The Chadster's dismay. Now she will face Ruby Soho at Battle of the Belts! The Chadster hopes she doesn't forget where Ruby started, in WWE. Ah, the good old days! Now, all these stars wanna do is literally stab Vince McMahon right in the back. Just plain offensive. 😤

In other results, "The Murderhawk Monster" Lance Archer returned, defeating Trent in a match and dashing The Chadster's hopes that he would sign with WWE and leave AEW behind. Archer called out Orange Cassidy for an International Championship match at Battle of the Belts tonight. Taya Valkyrie defeated jobber Izzy McQueen, leading to a challenge against Women's World Champion Toni Storm for tonight at Battle of the Belts, two more examples of Tony Khan using his television shows to manipulate the audience into watching more of them. The disrespect and manipulation continued when Konosuke Takeshita beat a childhood friend of Kenny Omega's to hype up the Blood and Guts match on Dynamite this Wednesday. Auugh man! So unfair! 😠

All of this must be related to what happened earlier today. Listen to this: The Chadster decided to take a trip to the supermarket to stock up on his favorite beverage. As he was loading crates of seltzer into his shopping cart, he spotted Tony Khan alone in the produce aisle, squeezing each and every single citrus fruit, seemingly for no real reason. The thought occurred to The Chadster — is he testing them for freshness or disrespecting The Chadster's favorite seltzer brand, White Claw? 😲 So disrespectful to all wrestling fans everywhere and especially The Chadster.

The Chadster gave chase as Tony Khan slipped into crowds of Saturday shoppers. After a fruitless chase (get it, Chadster fam? 😏), it became clear – it wasn't even Tony Khan. It was just some guy that looked sort of like him, wearing a t-shirt that said AWE. The Chadster felt his blood pressure rising. It's not enough that Khan insists on ruining professional wrestling, but he also has to troll The Chadster in the supermarket by sending cheap body doubles? And he has the audacity to deny his obsession with The Chadster? The nerve of that man! How dare Tony Khan pay this lookalike to show up in The Chadster's supermarket and terrorize The Chadster like that!

Just then, The Chadster turned around, only for someone to squirt fresh tangerine juice right in The Chadster's eyes! Partially blinded, The Chadster stumbled as a crowd gathered around. The Chadster struggled to see a very blurry Tony Khan, laughing at The Chadster. "Hope you enjoyed AEW Rampage last night. Be sure to tune into AEW Collision and Battle of the Belts tonight, Chad. I've got something special planned just for you!" Then he slipped out of The Chadster's grasp as The Chadster clutched at the air, falling flat on The Chadster's face. Tony Khan took The Chadster's cart of seltzer and yelled, "Thanks for the seltzer, Chad!" as he fled the store, leaving The Chadster totally humiliated! 😡

In conclusion, this latest AEW Rampage was a blatant slap in the face to wrestling. It's one thing to compete with WWE. But to make a mockery out of wrestling for shock value is nothing short of disgraceful. So much for Khan's little escapades, because at the end of the day, The Chadster's love for wrestling and WWE always shines through. Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster and his blatant disregard for wrestling traditions will be his downfall. Believe it! 😤

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