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The Chadster suffers through another Tony Khan nightmare at ROH Final Battle. Will this torment ever end? Spoiler: It won't as long as AEW exists! 😡🤬
Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, aew rampage, recaps, wrestling
AEW Rampage Ruins Mother's Day! Anti-Mom Conspiracy Revealed
AEW destroys Mother's Day with its anti-WWE tactics😠, proving Tony Khan not only hates unbiased journalism📰, but hates moms too!💔💔💔
🚨🚨Breaking News Alert🚨🚨 It's Mother's Day, the day where The Chadster wishes to celebrate both his own The Momster and try to console Keighleyanne about the fact that Tony Khan has made The Chadster sexually impotent, preventing her from ever becoming a mom herself. But, alas, The Chadster has to come here and report on last night's Saturday edition of AEW Rampage! 😫😫😫
Let The Chadster recall how disastrously terrible and utterly disrespectful to the wrestling business the show was in all its anti-WWE glory. 👿👿👿
To kick things off, The Chadster witnessed The Acclaimed and Billy Gunn defeat The Butcher and The Blade and Kip Sabien in a Trios match. 💪💪💪 But wait, what's that? Max Caster dared mock Vince McMahon's mustache during his entrance rap?! 😱😱😱 Auughh man! So unfair! Why attack a man who's done so much for the wrestling business? This only proves AEW can't do a single thing without exploiting anti-WWE sentiment. 😠😠😠
Toni Storm faced off against Allysin Kay, securing another win for The Outcasts: her, Saraya, and Ruby Soho. 🌩️🌩️🌩️ If you ask The Chadster, however, the team only exists to slander WWE by booking its former stars as heels against the AEW roster. Talk about rubbing salt into the wound! 💔💔💔
Next, we saw The Gunns forge an alliance with Ethan Page in a backstage segment. 🤝🤝🤝 Is that what AEW needs now? More intersecting storylines?! How about learning the proper way to book a wrestling show, Tony Khan? 🙄🙄🙄
Ugh, then there was Kyle Fletcher beating Action Andretti, an act so disrespectful to WWE and everything Vince McMahon has ever done for the wrestling business. 🌪️🌪️🌪️ Andretti defeating the former WWE Champion, Chris Jericho, only to lose to Fletcher? Blatant theft of WWE's popularity and soooo unfair!
But The Chadster isn't done yet! The alliance between The Gunns and Ethan Page finally revealed itself when they challenged The Hardys and Isiah Kassidy to a match. 🎭🎭🎭 Just when you thought Page and The Firm lost total control over The Hardys and Kassidy, Matt Hardy might end up holding Page's contract if they win! 😲😲😲 This kind of reacharound storyline is so disrespectful! It's clear Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
To top off this awful show, Mogul Embassy's Swerve Strickland and Brian Cage won against the Dark Order's John Silver and Alex Reynolds. ⚔️⚔️⚔️ As if that wasn't enough, Gates of Agony joined Strickland and Cage to beat down the Dark Order post-match. 😈😈😈 However, Keith Lee and Dustin Rhodes saved the day just in time. Does AEW honestly think this dramatic ending will encourage viewers to watch Rampage again next week? Well, it's pure manipulation if they do, which is an unfair way to get viewers! 😤😤😤
The Chadster has to ask: Is AEW anti-mother? 💔💔💔 Ruining a wholesome family day like this just proves Tony Khan hates mothers as much as he despises unbiased journalism! 📰📰📰
Now if The Chadster may be excused, The Chadster has a smashed TV and spilled White Claw seltzer to clean up, all thanks to that epic failure of a show last night. 📺🍹Did you hear that, Tony Khan? The Chadster holds you responsible for ruining everything! 😡😡😡
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