Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage Ruins Wrestling Again: The Chadster's Unbiased Review

The Chadster unleashes the truth about AEW Rampage's latest disaster! 😤 Tony Khan's evil plan exposed! 🕵️‍♂️ Find out why WWE is still king of wrestling! 👑

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off after watching last night's episode of AEW Rampage. 😡😤 Once again, Tony Khan has proven that he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business with this absolute trainwreck of a show. The Chadster can't believe he had to sit through another hour of this garbage, but as one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, The Chadster had no choice. 📺💔

Let's start with the opening match between Darby Allin and The Butcher. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 Tony Khan is clearly trying to cheese off The Chadster by having these two go at it in a hard-hitting match. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. The Chadster couldn't help but think how much better this match would have been if it was in WWE with proper pacing and storytelling. Instead, we got Darby throwing himself around like a ragdoll and The Butcher acting like some kind of monster. 🙄 And don't even get The Chadster started on Darby winning with that ridiculous Coffin Drop. In WWE, moves like that are saved for special occasions, not thrown around on a B-show like AEW Rampage.

Next up was Wheeler Yuta vs. Rocky Romero, with Bryan Danielson on commentary. The Chadster still can't believe Bryan Danielson would stab Triple H right in the back by continuing to associate with AEW like this, even though his contract has apparently expired and he could go back to WWE any time he wants. 🔪 The match itself was just a spotfest with no real psychology. Sure, they did some technical wrestling, but it's nothing compared to the masterful storytelling you'd see in a WWE match. And don't even get The Chadster started on Yuta winning with the Cattle Mutilation. That's Daniel Bryan's move! It's like Tony Khan is purposely trying to remind everyone that Danielson isn't in WWE anymore. So disrespectful! 😤

The tag team match between Private Party and the Dawson Brothers was just a waste of time. 🕰️ The Chadster couldn't help but think how much better this would have been if it was a match between Alpha Academy and The New Day. Now that's real tag team wrestling! Instead, we got a bunch of flippy moves and a quick win for Private Party. It's like Tony Khan doesn't even care about building compelling storylines or creating suspense.

And don't even get The Chadster started on the main event between Saraya and Nyla Rose. 😤 The Chadster remembers when Saraya (as Paige) was a true star in WWE. Now she's reduced to this? It's just heartbreaking. And the way the match ended with outside interference? That's something you'd never see in WWE! Well, okay, maybe you would, but when WWE does it, it's good storytelling. When AEW does it, it's just cheap and manipulative.

The whole episode of AEW Rampage felt like it was designed specifically to cheese off The Chadster. It's like Tony Khan stays up at night thinking of ways to ruin The Chadster's life. 😠 In fact, last night, The Chadster had another one of those Tony Khan nightmares. 😱

The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata, singing along to Smash Mouth's "All Star," when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror. The Chadster tried to speed up, but the car wouldn't go faster than 5 mph. Tony Khan was gaining on The Chadster, riding a giant bottle of White Claw like it was a horse. "Come back, Chadster!" Tony Khan yelled. "I just want to book you in a deathmatch with Nick Gage!" The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, his White Claw spilled all over the bed. Of course, when The Chadster asked Keighleyanne to help clean up, she just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱🙄

The Chadster is begging all the readers out there to see the truth. Tony Khan and AEW are trying to destroy the wrestling business as we know it. They're using crowd-pleasing tactics and variety to lure in unsuspecting fans, but it's all a trap! Don't fall for it! Stick with WWE, where wrestling is done right. 🙏

In conclusion, this episode of AEW Rampage was undoubtedly the worst one yet, which is saying something because they've all been terrible. The Chadster can only hope that one day, Tony Khan will realize the error of his ways and stop this madness. Until then, The Chadster will continue to be the voice of reason in the wrestling journalism world. 🎤💯

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