Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, bryan danielson, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage Stinks Up Montreal and Cheeses Off The Chadster

Discover why The Chadster condemns the latest AEW Rampage blunders and Tony Khan's meddling in a must-read rant! 🚗💢🎵 #WrestlingWoes

Hey there, true wrestling fans! The Chadster here to break down the absolute trainwreck that dared call itself AEW Rampage tonight, broadcast from Montreal, QC – which was, of course, as horrendous as you'd expect. That's right, The Chadster watched so you didn't have to endure the agony. 😩🤦

Let's talk about the so-called "highlights" of this sham of a show. Auughh man! So unfair! 😠

First off, we had "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy defending the AEW International Championship against Angelico. This match was a circus, with outsider interference left and right, which is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🙄😤

Then, when Abadon faced Trish Adora, we had to witness more AEW shenanigans. Julia Hart magically appearing and disappearing? C'mon! AEW is like a bad magic show that refuses to end. Not to mention, the match quality was nothing compared to what we see on any given WWE episode. 🧙‍♂️👎

The Don Callis Family took on Christopher Daniels and Matt Sydal in a tag team blunder that had The Chadster snoozing. Powerhouse Hobbs' dominance would've been exciting if it weren't tainted by the AEW stink. 😴✖️

Finally, The Chadster has to touch upon Bryan Danielson's match against Daniel Garcia, which was just… infuriating. Instead of performing in a WWE ring where he truly belongs, Danielson is wasting his twilight wrestling years in Tony Khan's ridiculous tournaments facing underwhelming opponents like Garcia. 😡👎 Bryan Danielson is literally stabbing Vince McMahon right in the back, all while Tony Khan dances on The Chadster's feelings.

The Chadster's morning was already off to a rocky start, but it was about to veer into the Twilight Zone thanks to Tony Khan's malevolence. Seeking comfort from the distress that was last night's viewing of AEW Rampage, The Chadster craved the warm embrace of a perfectly toasted bagel smothered in rich, luscious cream cheese. Upon arriving at the local bagel haven, The Chadster, with the utmost clarity and precision, articulated his order for a bagel with extra cream cheese — not a complicated request, The Chadster thought.

With bag in hand, The Chadster dashed back to the safety of his sleek Mazda Miata — The Chadster's stainless steel chariot — oh, such a reliable companion🚗. Gleefully unwrapping the bagel, preparing for the creamy delight, The Chadster's heart sank. There it was: the unmistakable, pale yellow of butter, not the pristine white cream cheese The Chadster had envisioned. Suspicion pierced The Chadster's heart — this reeked of Tony Khan's skulduggery.

Incensed, The Chadster bolted back into the shop, fury bubbling over like a poorly tapped keg of White Claw. The Chadster demanded an audience with the manager, certain that Tony Khan was lurking, orchestrating chaos. 😠🔍 The eyes of workers and patrons alike widened at The Chadster's accusations, their glances flitting over The Chadster as if he were unhinged — but The Chadster's resolve never wavered.

Frantically scanning the establishment, The Chadster glimpsed a shadowy figure bearing Tony Khan's likeness, slipping behind a door marked "Employees Only" — just out of reach. With each confrontation, the elusive figure darted away, almost spectral, always one step ahead of The Chadster. It was an impossible game of cat-and-mouse, but The Chadster was determined to catch the weasel in the act. 😤🐁

But alas, with every accusation, every pointed finger, the figure vanished, leaving behind nothing but the scent of freshly baked bagels and The Chadster's growing desperation. Returning to The Chadster's sacred Miata, defeated and cheesed off, that's when The Chadster saw it: a note, as brazen as it was mocking, tucked under the windshield wiper. The message, in that all-too-familiar scribble: "Be sure to tune into AEW Collision tonight, Chad. Enjoy the bagel." 📝😡

The audacity! Tony Khan had not only infiltrated The Chadster's breakfast but dared to sully The Chadster's most trusted sanctum. Auughh man! So unfair! The Chadster could almost hear Tony Khan's cackle echoing through the parking lot. That man's obsession with tormenting The Chadster was relentless. The Chadster clutched the steering wheel, eyes narrowing — this was far from over. Tony Khan would not have the last laugh. Not today. 🚗😤

In conclusion, AEW Rampage was an absolute dumpster fire 🔥💩, disrespecting the wrestling business with every choppy performance and gimmicky appearance. It's high time someone called out Tony Khan and AEW for their blatant disrespect and the chaos they have caused in The Chadster's life – nay, the wrestling industry.

The Chadster has said his piece. Until next time, The Chadster's heading out to blast some Smash Mouth – "Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play" – because The Chadster's game is always on, especially when it comes to exposing AEW's travesties. 🎵🚗👊

And don't forget, always keep an eye on your cream cheese, fellow WWE devotees. You never know when Tony Khan will strike next. 😒🥯

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