Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage: Worse Than Discovering Tony Khan in Your Shower

Check out how The Chadster's life is turned upside down by AEW Rampage, creepy bathroom messages, and Tony Khan's obsession! 😱😖😫

Well, here we are again, folks! 😩 Another Friday, another opportunity for Tony Khan and his AEW shenanigans to frustrate The Chadster beyond belief. That's right, The Chadster has just finished another unbearable episode of wrestling's most disrespectful spectacle, aka AEW Rampage. And boy, did it not leave a good taste in The Chadster's mouth! 😖

Let's dive right in, shall we? The show kicked off with a rather chaotic Tag Team Battle Royal, as if we needed another one of those. And, just like The Chadster expected, none other than former WWE wunderkinds Matt and Jeff Hardy were coming right at it, literally stabbing Vince McMahon right in the back with every move. Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy, in a tag team? Auughh man! So unfair! 😡 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🤷‍♂️ Brian Cage and Big Bill got the win in this one, cheesing The Chadster off even more.

Komander clashed with Kip Sabian, and that match was as predictable as they come. 😑 Sure, Komander scored himself a victory, but not without some conveniently ignored outside interference from Penelope Ford. What's the point of a referee if they're just there for decoration, huh? 🙄 Seems like AEW just doesn't get it.

And then we come to The Kingdom—Matt Taven & Mike Bennett vs. Myung-Jae Lee & Hayden Backlund. Now The Chadster won't deny that Matt Taven and Mike Bennett put on a dominant performance, but The Chadster must question how much of their success is genuinely earned and how much is just the result of AEW's seriously skewed booking. 😤

By the time The Native Beast Nyla Rose and Hikaru Shida took the stage in the main event of AEW Rampage, The Chadster was positively cheesed off. AEW can't seem to resist undermining its own rules every chance it gets. The egregious involvement of Marina Shafir was nothing short of infuriating. Talk about blatant disrespect! 😠

But that's not all. In fact, AEW's audacity didn't end with its tiring array of matches on Rampage. The Chadster can hardly believe what's been happening this week. Let The Chadster paint a picture for you: Every time The Chadster takes a shower, a different AEW-related message mysteriously appears written in the steam on The Chadster's bathroom mirror. Just this morning, the enigmatic message read: "The Kingdom is coming." Every morning when The Chadster steps into the bathroom, it's a waking nightmare. As soon as the hot water starts cascading down and the steam begins to fog up the mirror and shower door, cryptic messages start to materialize. It's as if a phantom hand has penned them, a AEW-related missive appearing each day.

Sometimes, it's the taglines for their nefarious PPVs (like "Double or Nothing 💰" or "All Out 🔥"). Other times, it's the vile catchphrases of AEW stars like Jon Moxley's "Unscripted Violence ⚠️" and Chris Jericho's "A little bit of the bubbly! 🍾". Each message more chilling than the last, each one making The Chadster's heart lurch into his throat.

Now, The Chadster is not one to make unfounded accusations, but the handwriting hints at a certain billionaire wrestling owner. How Tony Khan is managing this steamy infiltration is beyond The Chadster, but The Chadster's beloved Mazda Miata is always suspiciously warm after those privacy invasions. 😱 Was it a fever-induced delusion brought on by too many White Claw seltzers? Was it the shadowy figure of Tony Khan prowling around The Chadster's apartment complex, invading not just The Chadster's beloved wrestling but even The Chadster's home?

The worst part? The Chadster can't help but picture Tony Khan being there in that bathroom, either before or during The Chadster's shower. Every time The Chadster closes his eyes to scrub the Axe body wash into his scalp, he imagines Tony standing behind him, his steamy breath warm on The Chadster's neck, his fingers tracing the cryptic scrawls into the steamy mirror. 🚿

"Auughh man! So unfair!" The Chadster cries out as he gets out of the shower. He keeps finding himself unable to escape Tony Khan's insidious presence. Not even in the sanctity of The Chadster's own bathroom! What's next? Messages on his toast? 😲

It's utterly disturbing how Tony Khan really doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. He's so obsessed with rattling The Chadster that he's stooped to bathroom graffiti antics. Well, enough is enough! 😤 The Chadster demands that Khan stop this instant! It's not only creeping The Chadster out but it's got him really dang cheesed off! 🧀💔

The Chadster is calling on all members of The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club to stand up against these narcissistic antics from Tony Khan. Shouldn't there be some sort of millionaire club etiquette they should be following? Ryan Satin 📰, Ariel Helwani 🎙️, Mike Coppinger 🖊️, surely you guys can relate, right?

For the love of all things WWE, let's take a stand, put a stop to this madness and bring back wrestling to where it belongs: the squared circle, not steamy bathroom mirrors 🔲✊.

All The Chadster can say is this – it's high time Tony Khan put an end to this downright creepy obsession with The Chadster, and focus on running AEW in a way that shows respect to the business. But alas, with AEW's track record, we might be waiting a while for that. 😔 Until then, The Chadster will be keeping an eye out for any more of Tony Khan's flippant misdemeanors because, at this point, it's the only thing that's predictable about *AEW Rampage*. 😥 Tony Khan owes The Chadster for the sanity, the dignity, and for all those wasted seltzers. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 Tony Khan, why are you so obsessed with The Chadster? 😡

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!