Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW's Collision Preview: Another Insult to WWE's Storied Legacy

Discover why The Chadster thinks AEW Collision is a slap to WWE's face! 😡🤼‍♂️ Buckle up for an unbiased bashing of Tony Khan's latest shindig. 🚫📺

Welcome back to another electrifying report from The Chadster, your sole source of unbiased wrestling journalism. 📝 Today, The Chadster is here to deliver the lowdown on AEW Collision – a show that, quite frankly, follows an all too familiar pattern of trying to undermine everything WWE stands for. Now, let's dive into this overhyped charade and see why this Chadster is nothing short of cheesed off. 😠🧀

There's no way to sugarcoat The Chadster's feelings about AEW Collision. 🤬 Starting with the so-called "Continental Classic," we've got match-ups like ROH World Champion/NJPW STRONG Champion Eddie Kingston going head-to-head with Claudio Castagnoli, and Bryan Danielson squaring off against Andrade El Idolo. Auughh man! So unfair! 😡 Bryan Danielson just wrestled last night on Rampage and now the dude is wrestling again on Collision. It's like he's got something against WWE, trying twice as hard to show up the superstars there – and The Chadster just can't understand why. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🤼‍♂️💔

Then we've got Kenny Omega and Ethan Page meeting for the first-ever, which The Chadster supposes could be interesting if Kenny Omega wasn't just trying to stick it to WWE with every dropkick and V-trigger. Plus, Wardlow squaring up against Willie Mack is just another instance of AEW showcasing excessive violence for violence's sake. 🤕 Finally, we've got Mercedes Martinez and Willow Nightingale reigniting an old rivalry which, frankly, pales in comparison to the enduring legacies built by WWE's women's division. 😒

Talking about legacies being thrown out the window, The Chadster had one of those dang disturbing dreams again last night. 😩🌜 In this one, The Chadster found himself as an innocent baby kangaroo, just a tiny and vulnerable joey nestled within the supposedly safe confines of a pouch. But, oh ho ho, The Chadster's sanctuary turned sinister when, lo and behold, it was none other than Tony Khan masquerading as the mother kangaroo. 🦘 It should have been a nurturing embrace, but instead, Tony's pouch felt enclosing and suffocating, like a spandex prison of sports-entertainment sacrilege. 🥺💔

The Chadster tried to enjoy the gentle swaying, the cozy warmth of the fuzzy pouch interior, but the familiar aroma of treachery seeped through. With each hop, Tony Khan bounced The Chadster around, cramming his AEW agenda deeper into The Chadster's consciousness. And the hopping—oh, the relentless hopping—was more like an erratic sledgehammer rhythm, jarring The Chadster's brain with every leap towards decayed wrestling standards. 😖 Each bounce was like an inadvertent Vince McMahon backstab. 🗡️💥

As the landscape whizzed by, it all symbolized the chaos of AEW's programming, a neverending blur of high spots and ratings gambles. The pouch's interior spasmed with every bound, a microcosm of Tony Khan's alleged obsession with trying to rattle The Chadster's very existence. 😵 And just when The Chadster thought he saw the warm light of WWE's corporate structure shining through, the pouch would twist and contort, plunging The Chadster back into the depths of Tony Khan's self-made kangaroo court of wrestling injustice. 👎🥵

The Chadster awakens from these marsupial mind-games gasping for the structured air of Monday Night Raw, pleading for Tony Khan to extract himself from The Chadster's REM cycle. Why, Tony, must you meddle even in The Chadster's dreamland? Hop outta town, Tony, and let a joey catch some peaceful Z's! 😤🚫🦘

And yet, after describing that twisted dream, here's The Chadster once again, having to preview an AEW Collision show that will undoubtedly feature more shenanigans and tomfoolery designed to undermine the tradition and excellence of WWE. 🙄

In conclusion, The Chadster would like to… reiterate how unnecessary it all is — the jam-packed schedule, the stars wrestling multiple nights back-to-back, and the blatant shots at WWE's expense. You could watch AEW Collision tonight at 8pm ET/7pm CT on TNT, but why would you? 😏 It's just going to be another display of Tony Khan's fixation on irritating The Chadster, and shouldn't you be spending your time with something less aggravating, like maybe rewatching some immortal WWE classics? 📺🤷‍♂️

Stay strong, WWE Universe, because despite all of AEW's antics, remember, WWE will always be the grand stage where history is made and not – as Tony Khan seems to believe – in some supposedly hardcore ring on TNT. Keep on supporting the true wrestling establishment.👋🏻👊🏻

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