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The Chadster explains how Hangman Adam Page's title win at AEW All In: Texas was so disrespectful to WWE that it made Keighleyanne take away The Chadster's alcohol privileges!
Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW All In, AEW All In: Texas, recaps, wrestling
Athena Wins AEW All In: Texas Gauntlet Match, Earns World Title Shot
The Chadster reports on Athena's Casino Gauntlet victory at AEW All In: Texas that ruined Keighleyanne's pie and cost The Chadster several Seagram's Escapes Spiked! 😡
Article Summary
- Athena unfairly snags AEW Women’s World Title shot in chaotic Casino Gauntlet, totally disrespecting WWE tradition of one belt, one champion!
- Tony Khan’s unpredictable booking ruined Keighleyanne’s pie and cost The Chadster a fridge full of Seagram’s!
- AEW matches move too fast—no rest holds, no product placement, just disrespect for how WWE builds true drama!
- It’s so unfair how Tony Khan keeps counter-programming WWE events just to torment The Chadster!
The Chadster just witnessed Athena become the number one contender for the AEW Women's World Championship at AEW All In: Texas, and The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off! 😡 The Women's Casino Gauntlet match featured Kris Statlander, Megan Bayne, Willow Nightingale, Tay Melo, Thekla, Julia Hart, Queen Aminata, Mina Shirakawa, Thunder Rosa, Syuri, and Alex Windsor all competing for a shot at the title. The match started with Statlander and Bayne, with competitors entering at timed intervals until all twelve women were in the ring at one time, resulting in so much simultaneous action that The Chadster's head nearly exploded! 🤯
The match ended when Athena hit her O-Face finisher on Shirakawa out of nowhere to steal the victory. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 The way Athena just swooped in and got a title shot even though she's already ROH Champion exactly the kind of opportunistic booking that Tony Khan loves! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 💔
This was literally the worst Casino Gauntlet match in the history of professional wrestling! 😤 The match was way too fast-paced with non-stop action that didn't leave any time for proper advertiser product placement or for the announcers to repeat their catchphrases! How are sponsors supposed to get their money's worth when Tony Khan books matches with zero breathing room? 📺 The workrate was ridiculously high with everyone doing moves constantly instead of using proper rest holds and selling to slow things down. WWE understands that fans need time to process what's happening, but Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🙄
The worst part was how unpredictable the finish was! 😰 The Chadster had no idea Athena was going to win, which made The Chadster feel completely unsafe as a viewer! In WWE, The Chadster can always predict the logical winner based on who's been pushed on television, but Tony Khan books these unpredictable matches where anyone can win at any time! It's just so disrespectful to fans who want consistency! 😠
The Chadster was so cheesed off by this match that The Chadster grabbed three White Claws and launched them at full speed at the television! 🍺💨 Two of them splattered right on the screen (thankfully that guy Gary installed a plexiglass protector after The Chadster's previous incidents), but the third one went sailing past the TV and straight into the kitchen where it lodged itself directly into a cherry pie that Keighleyanne had cooling on the counter! 🥧💥
Keighleyanne was absolutely livid! 😡 She screamed at The Chadster that she had baked that pie specifically for Gary and now it was ruined! The Chadster tried to explain that this was clearly Tony Khan's fault for booking such an infuriating match, but she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting Gary about needing to make a new pie. Well, now Tony Khan owes that guy Gary a pie, and he owes The Chadster for fifteen Seagram's Escapes Spiked cans from today alone! 💸
Since The Chadster's last report, AEW All In: Texas has gotten even more ridiculous – Swerve Strickland and Will Ospreay defeated the Young Bucks to become the new EVPs of AEW. 🤦♂️ Tony Khan is literally giving away executive positions as match stipulations now! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!
The Chadster will be here on Bleeding Cool all day providing live coverage of AEW All In: Texas in order to expose Tony Khan's nefarious deeds! 🕵️ The Chadster would obviously rather be watching and reporting on NXT Great American Bash and getting ready for tonight's Saturday Night's Main Event and tomorrow's WWE Evolution, but thanks to Tony Khan learning about WWE's plans to schedule three premium live events this weekend and then scheduling AEW All In: Texas months earlier, The Chadster is stuck here! 😤
Now when WWE scheduled their events, it looks like WWE is scared of AEW counter-programming them, when really Tony Khan is just obsessed with The Chadster and can't stop trying to twist the narrative! 🙄 This is the only website that's safe from Tony Khan's manipulation, so don't trust any other sources of wrestling news! Only look for AEW All In: Texas results here on Bleeding Cool! 📰✅
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