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Corey Graves Can Now Stink at Wrestling as Well as Commentary

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For beleaguered WWE fans sick and tired of listening to Corey Graves' poor Bobby Heenan impersonation on the WWE Raw commentary team, we've got some good news: Graves may soon be able to return to the ring, which means he might not have time to do commentary as much. On the other hand, that means that in addition to having to listen to him talk, you may also need to watch him wrestle. It's a classic case of "be careful what you wish for." Haw haw haw haw!

Corey Graves and Michael Cole terrorize the eardrums of viewers of WWE Friday Night Smackdown with their "commentary"
Corey Graves and Michael Cole terrorize the eardrums of viewers of WWE Friday Night Smackdown with their "commentary"

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, and if you thought that the Beatles' Get Back documentary on Disney+ was revealing, you should see the 600+ hours of rehearsal footage I have of that time I formed a nu metal band with a couple of my friends, who just so happen to be some of the world's greatest dictators. If you thought Ringo had it rough dealing with the other Beatles' drama, you should see Bashar al-Assad putting up with me, Putin, and Kim Jong Un fried on cocaine and trying to play a cover of Let The Bodies Hit the Floor. Haw haw!

But I'm not here to talk about my incredible musical talents, mis amigos. This is about Corey Graves, who, according to a report by Fightful's Sean Ross Sapp, has been cleared to wrestle after being on the no contact list since 2014. Graves was originally forced to retire due to getting too many concussions, though he also suffers from a rare condition of having incredibly thin skin, which is why he gets so butthurt on social media even though he's constantly talking trash on there.

Does that mean Graves will actually return to the ring? That remains to be seen, but if he really is allowed to take bumps again, at the very least, fans could enjoy the catharsis of seeing a babyface put him through the commentary table once in a while. Even if it only takes him off commentary for half a show, it would still be a welcome relief to Raw's viewers. Until next time, comrades: socialism or death!

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El PresidenteAbout El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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