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Impact Preview: 4 Matches, 1 Contract Signing Set for Tonight

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Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from just off camera in the Senate Impeachment trial of Donald Trump. Like Cyrano de Bergerac, your El Presidente is whispering to the House Impeachment managers what to say while they address the Senate. Hopefully, comrades, I don't get my wired crossed while bringing you this preview of tonight's episode of Impact Wrestling, or Representative Joe Neguse will start talking about Tommy Dreamer getting a title shot at the age of 50, and comrades, there's no way a majority of the Senate would vote for that. Haw haw haw haw haw! It would be ridiculous!

But back to business, comrades. Let's talk about this Impact preview. Tonight, Tommy Dreamer and Rich Swann will sign the contract for their match at No Surrender this weekend. Swann offered the title shot to Dreamer as a birthday present, which is the height of neptism, comrades. There's also a tag team championship match happening tonight, an 8-man tag that will probably be the main event, some more drama between the Knockouts tag team champions and their rivals, and most shockingly, the return of ODB to the ring!

Check out the matches happening tonight on Impact in the photo gallery below. Until I see you again for the recap tonight, my friends: socialism or death.

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El PresidenteAbout El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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