Impact Wrestling – Heath Depletes His Finances Seeking Wrestling Job

The most important pro wrestling event of the week is happening right now! Unfortunately, I have to watch Impact because Twitch doesn't have a DVR function, so I'll have to catch the presidential debate afterward.

The official logo of Impact Wrestling.
The official logo of Impact Wrestling.

Impact Wrestling Report for September 29th, 2020 Part 1

On the Twitch pre-show, it looks like Melissa Santos is back, and we get a cameo from Brian Cage and their dog, so I guess they're all alive, which is good. Impact starts with a "last week on Impact," and then Taya Valkyrie comes out, followed by Rosemary, who crawls slowly to the ring while a knockoff Marilyn Manson song plays. Then Havok and Neveah come out.

Taya Valkyrie and Rosemary vs. Havok and Neveah

  • The story here is that Rosemary needs Havok's help to resurrect James Mitchell so that he can officiate her demon wedding. Rosemary got beat down when she tried to deal with
  • They have a good ten-minute match.
  • Taya gets the pin with Road to Valhalla.

Tasha Steelz and Kiera Hogan attack Taya and Rosemary after the match and beat them down. The Good Brothers tell a road story about Japan to some Impact interns when the Motor City Machine Guns show up and passive-aggressively complain about them being lazy and hanging around backstage telling stories. Alex Shelly says he was way higher on the ladder in Japan than Karl Anderson because he takes things seriously. They leave, and the Good Brothers mock them some more.

Impact takes a commercial break. Brian Cage stands in the background while Melissa Santos is talking and repeatedly flexes his chest. Then Melissa becomes outraged because their pet lizard, Steve, has his own emoji, but she doesn't. She calls Cage over to look, and we learn that Cage also has an emoji.

Gia Miller interviews Deonna Purrazzo about Kylie Rae. Deonna says Kylie is confused to believe all the smiles and friendship will do her any good in the ring. She's gonna break her arm at Bound for Glory. Gia says that assume Deonna will still be champ after defending her title against Susie at Victory Road, which apparently is an Impact Plus show on Saturday and not a special episode of Impact like I thought last week. I guess I'll have to get Impact Plus.

Josh Matthews and Madison Rayne run through the card for Victory Road and for tonight. Then Kaleb with a K is in the ring, and he introduces Tenille Dashwood. Jordynne Grace comes out to fight her.

Tenille Dashwood vs. Jordynne Grace

  • The story here is that Dashwood is an insane egomaniac and Grace, well, she needs someone to feud with while she takes a break from the title picture. We just saw this same match last week, and Grace lost, so she has to change up her gameplan.
  • There's a commercial break mid-match, and Melissa Santos dodges a question about Rob Van Dam leaving Impact this week. Then she low-key insults The Rock by saying his movies are all the same, and he plays the same character in every film (paraphrased). She tries to walk it back, but we all know what she meant. Maybe The Rock will cut a promo on her during his induction speech for Ken Shamrock in the Impact Hall of Fame.
  • The match goes similarly to last week, but this time when Grace gets Dashwood in a sleeper, the ref isn't distracted by Kaleb, so he sees Dashwood tap out.

Moose searches for EC3 backstage and learns he has a locker room. He goes in there jacks up a random Impact employee who says he's going to HR. EC3 projects himself on the wall again. He says it's okay that Moose keeps failing to find him. When you fail, you grow. Of course, EC3 is going to destroy the TNA Championship, and he's gonna do it next week on Impact Wrestling. Moose is cordially invited to watch EC3 burn it down next week. Hey, if Seth Rollins isn't using it anymore… Moose freaks out as Impact takes a commercial break.

We see a promo video for Rich Swann and his upcoming match against Eric Young for the Impact World Championship. Then it's the Impact Plus Flashback Moment of the Week, which is Gail Kim beating Madison Rayne at Victory Road 2012 in a Knockouts Championship match. Then Rhino meets up with Heath in the parking lot outside Impact. Heath says his commercials have been doing well, and Impact management wants to talk to him now. And Rhino is pleased that Heath was able to pay for it with the wad of cash he stole from Hernandez.

But Heath says he didn't do that. He maxed out his credit cards instead, so he still has the cash. He pulls it out, and Hernandez shows up with Reno Scum. They jump Heath and Rhino and take the money. Impact takes a commercial break.

Rhino complains to a stressed-out Scott D'Amore about the attack before the break. D'Amore agrees to let Rhino and Heath fight Reno Scum, unsanctioned, at Victory Road on Saturday. Then The Rascalz come out. They'll be facing The Good Brothers, and if you want to find out who wins, click down below to visit Part Two of our Impact Wrestling Report.

This post is part of a multi-part series: Impact Wrestling Report for September 29th, 2020.

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A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

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