Jersey Shore: Family Vacation Was Reality TV Super-Mega-Crossover
Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, taking time out of sorting through some nuclear secrets I bought on eBay from a seller in Palm Beach, Florida, to tell you all about this week's episode of my favorite television show, Jersey Shore: Family Vacation. Jersey Shore: Family Vacation S05E20 "The Meatball Show" was divided into four stories, and the final and titular one featured an epic crossover between multiple reality TV shows.
Let's start with the least exciting story. Vinny and Pauly continued their time in Las Vegas away from the other roommates as Vinny prepared for his stripping gig at Chippendales. Backstage, he and Pauly tried out new formulas for the perfect mixture of baby oil and water to run on Vinny's body to attain the best level of glisten. In the end, they decided to book another vacation for the cast, this time in San Diego, which is where that big wine-throwing fight will finally take place… next week.
Another story explored on Jersey Shore: Family Vacation this week was the continuing fallout of the drama Mike stirred up over Angelina's divorce. Jenni remained wary of Mike for playing both sides, riling up the roommates against Angelina while being nice to her behind their backs. This had a chance to culminate at the launch of Lauren's skincare line, where both Jenni and Angelina attended, but though Angelina and Lauren did make up, she avoided any interaction with Jenni at all and left after making only a brief appearance at the party. Comrades, that's how I played it when I was at Viktor Orbán's birthday party in May, and I didn't want to have any awkward interactions with Putin after he invaded Ukraine and got his butt kicked. Haw haw haw haw!
In what was perhaps the most anticipated story of the evening, Ronnie returned, heading to the East Coast for a meetup with Mike. Ronnie has been off the show since appearing earlier this season, and he hasn't filmed with the cast since his most recent domestic violence arrest in April of 2021 (he was not charged with a felony following the arrest). This week's episode of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation did its best to rehabilitate his image. Ronnie has been sober and working a twelve-step program for the last year, he claimed during his visit with Mike, and he has focused during that time on remaining sober and taking care of his daughter, of who he says he has full-time custody.
Ronnie's claims of sobriety and dadhood were backed up by the dad bod that's replaced his formerly chiseled physique. Mike told him that he recognizes a change, though it will be up to Ronnie to make amends to the other cast members on their own time, which provides both the perfect way to test the waters for Ronnie's full-time return to the show as well as a storyline for next season: The Ronnie Apology tour. Mike was the perfect conduit for this attempt to clean up Ronnie's image, as his own past struggles with addiction and recovery allowed him to put Ronnie's in context. But what will ultimately determine Ronnie's fate will be whether the fans are willing to accept his return and how much backlash MTV gets for putting him back on TV.
In the fourth and final story explored this week on Jersey Shore: Family Vacation, Snooki and Deena finally filmed the first episode of The Meatball Show. First, they decorated the She-Shed Deena had delivered to her backyard, mostly with leopard print. Next, they booked a guest: Jerry Springer. Side note, comrades: I would watch a spinoff of Jersey Shore that consisted of nothing but Snooki DMming other celebrities to ask them to be on her podcast and then being utterly disgusted with embarrassment afterward. It's the most relatable thing that has ever happened on the show, and I demand to see more of it!
Next, they enlisted Deena's husband Chris, and Angelina, to help produce the show. Angelina was tasked with picking up Jerry Springer, leading to an interesting car ride where she, in her own words, wasn't "trying to **** Jerry Springer" but wanted to see if she could. When Jerry joined the Meatballs, who were already several glasses of wine deep, they thanked him for paving the way and making them everything they are today, going so far as to call him "Daddy." "I am not the father," he quipped. Next, they played a game where Chris read episode titles, and they had to guess whether they were for Jersey Shore or The Jerry Springer Show, and more often than not, Jerry and the girls got the answer wrong.
Springer was also astonished to watch the Meatballs continuously blow into a breathalyzer as they consumed more and more wine. But the crossover didn't end there. The next guest on The Meatball Show was supposed to be Amy Schumer, who Snooki DMed a few episodes ago, but the person who arrived was Aimee from Floribama Shore, who immediately began downing wine and blowing the breathalyzer with Snooki and Deena. Yes, comrades, it sounds like a hot mess, and it was, in fact, a hot mess, but it's one I would never get tired of watching, so I hope The Meatball Show gets many future episodes.
Next week on Jersey Shore: Family Vacation, the **** will finally hit the fan in San Diego. Or, more likely, it will be teased the entire episode before finally playing out the week after. But we're getting close, comrades! That wine glass will be thrown at Nikki, and it will be glorious! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to complain to the guy I bought these classified docs from. They've got ketchup stains all over them! Until next time, my friends: socialism or death!