Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, cm punk, Jack Perry, tony khan, wrestling

Striking Back at WWE, AEW to Air CM Punk Backstage Brawl Footage

Comrades, raise your glasses to AEW as they hit back at WWE's underhanded tactics! Hear the tale of their bold defense, from El Presidente's secret lair.

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from a hollowed out lair beneath an active volcano. The spirit of revolution is alive and well here, much like it is in the hallowed halls of AEW, where Tony Khan's wrestling promotion is striking back against the capitalist juggernaut of WWE and their underhanded attempts to undermine AEW's success with plans to air explosive backstage footage of CM Punk and Jack Perry's altercation that got Punk fired from AEW last year.

As I reported to you last week, CM Punk, the disgruntled former AEW champion, appeared on the podcast of noted WWE stooge Ariel Helwani to trash Tony Khan and AEW. This was just the beginning of a weeklong assault by WWE against AEW, with WWE taking multiple shots at their competitor. On the WrestleMania pre-show, CM Punk and The Miz mocked recent AEW signee Will Ospreay for getting a tattoo commemorating the record-breaking attendance numbers at AEW's All In event. Triple H, at a press conference, also took a shot at recent AEW signees like Ospreay, claiming they chose AEW for "an easier work schedule." The audacity of these capitalist pigs knows no bounds, comrades!

But fear not, because AEW is firing back! On last night's episode of AEW Collision, the company aired a graphic claiming they would show footage from the backstage altercation between CM Punk and Jungle Boy Jack Perry that took place at All In. Not only that, but AEW EVPs The Young Bucks, who had their own infamous altercation with CM Punk a year prior, will be commenting on the footage for the first time. Talk about a revolutionary response!

Comrades, let me tell you a story. Once, while sipping daiquiris with my good friend Fidel Castro, we discussed the importance of standing up to American imperialism. "El Presidente," Fidel said to me, "sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. When the American CIA comes at you with their underhanded tricks, you have to hit them back twice as hard with the truth." I couldn't agree more, and that's exactly what Tony Khan and AEW are doing.

Of course, the reaction from the WWE's sycophantic fans and paid astroturf bots has been swift and negative. These are the same people who were praising CM Punk's interview on Helwani's podcast, but now they're crying foul when AEW dares to defend itself. The hypocrisy is thicker than my luxurious mustache, comrades!

But let me tell you something, El Presidente knows a thing or two about dealing with hypocrites and capitalist stooges. When the CIA tried to infiltrate my glorious regime, did I back down? No! I stood tall, like a beacon of socialist hope, and exposed their nefarious plots to the world. And that's exactly what AEW is doing by airing this footage and having The Young Bucks comment on it. And if it all results in Perry returning from his NJPW excursion to join The Elite in AEW once more, all the better.

In conclusion, comrades, let us raise a glass of the finest Cuban rum to Tony Khan and AEW for their bravery in the face of WWE's monopolistic business practices. They are a shining example of how to stand up to the capitalist machine and fight for the rights of the working class. And to all the butthurt WWE fans out there, El Presidente has only one thing to say: cry me a river, comrades! Your tears are like sweet nectar to me.

Until next time, this is your El Presidente, signing off from the front lines of the wrestling revolution. May the spirit of socialism guide us all to a brighter future, and may AEW continue to give WWE the people's elbow. Viva la revolución!

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