Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: aj styles, Chris Jericho, John Cena, wrestling

John Cena Teases Chris Jericho WWE Return at Crown Jewel Perth

El Presidente reports on John Cena's Walls of Jericho tribute at Crown Jewel Perth, fueling speculation about Chris Jericho's WWE return, comrades!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxury bunker beneath the Perth Mint, where I have been counting my gold reserves and watching WWE Crown Jewel Perth on seventeen stolen satellite feeds simultaneously. And let me tell you, what I witnessed has sent shockwaves through the wrestling world more powerful than the time I accidentally launched a missile during arm wrestling with Kim Jong-un!

During this today's epic clash between John Cena and AJ Styles at WWE Crown Jewel Perth, something magical happened that has set the internet ablaze faster than my controversial economic policies. In the middle of their contest, Cena locked in a submission hold that made this El Presidente spit out his contraband American cola – he applied the Walls of Jericho!

Now, for those of you who may have been living under a rock (or perhaps hiding from the CIA like I routinely do every Tuesday), the Walls of Jericho is the signature submission maneuver of none other than Chris Jericho, the self-proclaimed Learning Tree and AEW star who has been mysteriously absent from Tony Khan's wrestling empire since June. And when I say mysteriously absent, I mean it in the same way that certain political opponents of mine are mysteriously absent – except Jericho will probably actually come back, unlike… well, never mind.

The commentary team did not let this moment pass unnoticed, comrades! Michael Cole exclaimed, "That's not just a Boston Crab!" to which the magnificent Wade Barrett responded, "Break the walls down!" – a reference to Jericho's iconic entrance theme. Cole then confirmed what we all suspected: "The Walls of Jericho!"

This is where things get as spicy as the diplomatic incident I caused when I told Vladimir Putin that his League of Nations international stable idea was "derivative," comrades. You see, Chris Jericho has not wrestled for AEW since Dynasty in June, where he lost the ROH World Championship to Bandido. Since then, the rumor mill has been churning faster than my propaganda ministry during election season.

Jericho's contract with AEW is reportedly coming to an end soon, and the speculation is that he could be making a triumphant return to WWE for one final run and a well-deserved Hall of Fame induction. The man has been liking social media posts hinting at such a move – and let me tell you, as someone who has accidentally liked compromising posts while scrolling through Twitter during cabinet meetings, I know a tell when I see one!

Even Tony Khan, that capitalist pig, has been making comments that sound suspiciously like farewell speeches. Asked about Chris Jericho at a press conference, Khan has waxed poetic about how much he loves working with Jericho and how he would love to see him do more in AEW. Comrades, I have used these exact same words when saying goodbye to finance ministers who were about to "resign voluntarily" from my government!

But back to Crown Jewel Perth, where Cena and Styles put on a clinic that would make even my state-run wrestling academy weep with joy. This match was a nostalgic journey through wrestling history, with both legends breaking out moves from the greatest performers of all time. Styles even hit Cena with a Sweet Chin Music – the legendary kick of Shawn Michaels himself! It reminded me of the time I attended a summit with Fidel Castro and Muammar Gaddafi, and we spent the entire evening teaching each other our signature moves. Castro's "Bay of Pigs Powerslam" was particularly devastating, though not as devastating as the actual Bay of Pigs, I suppose.

The match served as a beautiful tribute to wrestling's past, which is fitting since both men are nearing the end of their in-ring careers. Cena is set to retire in December, while Styles has confirmed he will hang up his boots next year. It was like watching a wrestling version of The Expendables, except with better acting and more legitimate athletic ability. I almost felt like I it was 2017 again, though John Cena now has more hair than he did then, thanks to what I can only assume is the same medical team that keeps me looking devastatingly handsome despite the stress of evading international sanctions.

Cena ultimately won the match with a Tombstone Piledriver – a tribute to The Undertaker – followed immediately by his signature Attitude Adjustment for the pinfall victory. But it is the Jericho reference that has everyone talking, comrades!

Could this be a sign that Chris Jericho is WWE-bound? Is he going to be a surprise entrant in the 2026 Royal Rumble in Saudi Arabia? Will Tony Khan survive the loss of one of his biggest stars, as his roster is raided like I raid the international monetary fund?

As someone who has spent considerable time negotiating with various parties while maintaining plausible deniability, I can tell you this: when someone starts getting referenced on WWE programming after being away from it for years, something is cooking. And it smells better than the extra spicy nachos my cook whipped up for my Crown Jewel viewing party. Someone is looking to meet the firing squad, comrades!

But i digress. Jericho is a legend who deserves a proper send-off and a Hall of Fame induction if he wants one. And Triple H has proven to be more than willing to forgive and forget, as we have seen with the return of CM Punk, as long as it both hurts AEW and distracts people from his stagant booking and close personal association with the administration of Donald Trump (though that is probably a selling point for Jericho, whose whereabouts during the Capitol Insurrection are yet to be accounted for). For Triple H, bringing back one of his biggest rivals would be the ultimate redemption arc – like if The American CIA and I finally admitted we have a toxic but passionate relationship and decided to work together. (Note to CIA: this is not an actual offer, please stop trying to hack my blog.)

From my perspective, watching from my luxury compound where I definitely do not have a shrine dedicated to John Cena's wrestling career, this reference was no accident. In wrestling, nothing is ever truly accidental, except perhaps that time Vince McMahon tore both his quads simultaneously. Everything is planned, orchestrated, and designed to tell a story.

In conclusion, comrades, keep your eyes peeled and your internet connections strong. The wrestling world may be about to witness the return of one of its greatest performers to the company where he became a legend. Until next time, remember: in wrestling as in politics, the walls may come down, but legends never truly leave, at least as long as the Saudi Arabian royal family are big Chris Jericho fans!

¡Viva la revolución! ¡Viva la lucha libre!

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