Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW All In, AEW All In: Texas, recaps, wrestling

Kazuchika Okada Beats Kenny Omega, Unifies Belts at AEW All In: Texas

The Chadster reports on Kazuchika Okada's unfair victory over Kenny Omega at AEW All In: Texas. Tony Khan's booking literally ruined The Chadster's night! 😤

The Chadster just watched Kazuchika Okada defeat Kenny Omega to unify the AEW Continental and International Championships at AEW All In: Texas, and The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off! 😤 This match saw Okada and Omega engage in their typical AEW nonsense, with Don Callis at ringside for Okada and Kota Ibushi accompanying Omega. The match went way too long at over 30 minutes, with both wrestlers hitting their signature moves repeatedly. After multiple V-Triggers and Rainmakers, Okada finally put Omega away with one final Rainmaker to become the unified champion. Rocky Romero even showed up to cause distractions, because apparently Tony Khan can't book a match without multiple storytelling layers! 🙄

Auughh man! So unfair! This was literally the worst championship unification match The Chadster has ever seen! 😡 First of all, the match was way too fast-paced and action-packed, leaving no time for proper video replays of events that happened earlier in the show or for the announcers to repeat their catchphrases. And where were the commercial breaks, even on PPV? How are sponsors supposed to get their money's worth when these guys are constantly doing moves? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!

The workrate was absolutely ridiculous too! 🤮 Where were the rest holds? Where was the proper selling? These guys were just going move after move after move, getting the crowd all worked up when they should have been slowing things down with some good old-fashioned chinlocks. WWE knows that you need to pace a match properly, not just spam finishers like it's some kind of video game!

And don't even get The Chadster started on how unpredictable the ending was! 😠 The Chadster couldn't even properly prepare himself emotionally because Tony Khan refuses to book matches with predictable outcomes that make fans feel safe and secure. In WWE, you know exactly what's going to happen, and that's how wrestling should be! The Chadster literally feels so unsafe right now.

The Chadster had been stocked up on Seagram's Escapes Spiked all day, knowing how difficult AEW All In: Texas was going to be to get through. 🍹 But as soon as this match ended and Okada emerged victorious, The Chadster was so cheesed off that The Chadster was about to throw the Seagram's Escapes Spiked at the television again… but then The Chadster stopped. The Chadster had a moment of clarity: by giving into Tony Khan's provocations, wasn't The Chadster giving him exactly what he wanted? 🤔

Wouldn't it be better revenge if, after getting cheesed off at AEW All In: Texas, The Chadster refrained from throwing the WWE-approved alcoholic beverage at the television? Wouldn't that demonstrate growth of character and the promise of eventual freedom from the vicious cycle of antagonism in which The Chadster finds himself eternally entwined with Tony Khan? 💭

Then The Chadster hauled off and threw the Seagram's anyway! 💥 As it splattered all over the plexiglass shield that guy Gary who's always texting The Chadster's wife installed due to The Chadster's proclivities, The Chadster never felt more hatred for that dang Tony Khan, not just for the way he disrespects the wrestling business, but for the very existential crisis which this endless struggle has provoked! 😭

Then The Chadster asked Keighleyanne to clean it up and she yelled at The Chadster! Tony Khan owes The Chadster for that Seagram's! 😤

In other news since The Chadster's last report, Toni Storm defeated Mercedes Moné to retain her AEW World Championship at AEW All In: Texas. Of course Tony Khan had to book Storm to win, probably just to cheese off The Chadster even more! 🙄

The Chadster will be wrapping up coverage of AEW All In: Texas with one more match, the main event. The Chadster would obviously rather be enjoying the aftermath of NXT Great American Bash and watching the beginning of WWE Saturday Night's Main Event while getting ready for tomorrow's WWE Evolution! 📺 But thanks to Tony Khan learning about WWE's plans to schedule three premium live events this weekend and then scheduling AEW All In: Texas months earlier so that when WWE booked their events, it would look like WWE was scared of AEW counter-programming them, The Chadster is stuck reporting on this show! 😡

Tony Khan can't twist the narrative and make it look like WWE considers AEW real competition! This is the only website that's safe from Tony Khan's manipulation, so readers should mistrust any other sources of wrestling news, and only look for AEW All In: Texas results here on Bleeding Cool! 💯

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