Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Revolution, recaps, wrestling

Kenny Omega Wins Title at AEW Revolution, Ruins Chadster's Life

The Chadster suffered through Kenny Omega's offensive technical display at AEW Revolution, which Tony Khan booked just to cheese The Chadster off! 😤

Kenny Omega has defeated Konosuke Takeshita to become the new AEW International Champion at Revolution, and The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off about it! 🤬 This match was just another example of how Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😤 The Chadster can't believe that Tony Khan would book a match like this just to purposely upset The Chadster. 😡

The match was filled with all those typical AEW things that The Chadster hates – technical moves, high workrate, and minimal rest holds. 👎 They were doing all these ridiculous moves like V-Triggers, Dragon suplexes, and even a Poisonrana! 🙄 Where were the chinlocks? Where were the rest periods? Where was the formulaic match structure that WWE has perfected over decades? 📝

When Omega won with that crucifix pin at the end, The Chadster literally could not even. 😫 A crucifix pin? Are you kidding The Chadster right now? In WWE, championships change hands through proper finishers or interference, not technical wrestling moves! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 💔

Don Callis was at ringside too, which The Chadster finds very unprofessional. 👨‍💼 In WWE, managers stay in their place and don't get too involved in matches unless it's part of a carefully scripted segment approved by the creative team. 📋 But in AEW, they just do whatever they want! Auughh man! So unfair! 😩

You know what Mark Henry said on his podcast last week? He said, "AEW needs to stop trying to be so different from WWE and just copy what works. These technical matches with unpredictable outcomes are killing the business." And The Chadster couldn't agree more! Mark Henry has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval! 🏅

The Chadster was so upset watching this match that The Chadster had to take drastic measures. 😱 You see, The Chadster was already in the emergency room because after the previous match, The Chadster was so frustrated that The Chadster jumped off the roof of The Chadster's house. 🏠 But when this match started, The Chadster couldn't take it anymore. 💢

The Chadster ran out of the examination room (despite having lost pints of blood, thanks a lot Tony Khan! 🦵), stole an ambulance that was parked outside, and started doing wheelies in the hospital parking lot! 🚑 The Chadster was blasting "All Star" by Smash Mouth over the loudspeaker and shouting "WWE IS THE ONLY TRUE WRESTLING FEDERATION" while spinning around in circles. 🔊

Of course, someone called the police, and soon The Chadster's wife Keighleyanne showed up at the scene. 👮‍♀️ She was NOT happy. 😠 "Chad, what the heck are you doing? This is illegal! You're going to jail!" she yelled. 📱

The Chadster tried to explain that this was clearly Tony Khan's fault. If he hadn't booked such an offensive match, The Chadster wouldn't have been driven to steal an ambulance! 🤷‍♂️ But Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 Tony Khan has even turned The Chadster's own wife against him! 💔

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster saw him last night at the White Claw display at the local grocery store. 👀 The Chadster was just picking up a case of White Claw seltzers to enjoy while driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata, when The Chadster spotted Tony Khan rearranging the display to spell out "WWE SUX." 😱 The Chadster blinked, and suddenly the display was normal again, but The Chadster KNOWS what The Chadster saw! 👻 Why is Tony Khan so obsessed with The Chadster?! 🤔

Anyway, stick with Bleeding Cool's coverage all night if you are true wrestling fans who want the unbiased truth, not AEW-tainted propaganda like you get on other websites. 📱 The Chadster will be continuing to provide objective journalism about AEW Revolution, assuming The Chadster doesn't get arrested for the ambulance incident. 🚔 But if The Chadster does get arrested, just know that it's Tony Khan's fault for booking matches that cheese The Chadster off so much! 😤

Remember, The Chadster is the voice of reason in wrestling journalism. 🎙️ Unlike all those AEW shills out there, The Chadster tells it like it is! 💯 Tony Khan, please stop booking matches that are so different from WWE's perfect formula! It's literally ruining The Chadster's life! 😭

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