Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

Lies! Tony Khan Covers Up Jeff Hardy Incident on AEW Rampage

Discover why the latest episode of AEW Rampage had The Chadster fuming over Jeff Hardy vs Sammy Guevara and Tony Khan's cheesy unfair tactics! 😠🔥

Welcome back to Bleeding Cool where The Chadster tells it like it really is, and today, The Chadster's got a bone to pick with yet another horrendous episode of AEW Rampage. The Chadster watched this disaster unfold via iPad from the comfort of his Mazda Miata, because honestly, The Chadster needs the comfort when enduring such atrocities. And let's just dive right into the muck, shall we? And yeah, you might've seen the clips on social media, too, where Sammy Guevara botched that shooting star press and broke Jeff Hardy's nose – at least that's what The Chadster saw. AEW tried to play it off like it was all planned. Could this be more disrespectful? 😠 Cheesing off wrestling fans by lying and then trying to mimic real WWE courage like Cody Rhodes' epic Hell in a Cell performance, that's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

In the opening we had Jeff Hardy facing off against Sammy Guevara in a No Disqualification match that had more hardware than a Home Depot. Steel chairs and ladders were everywhere, but the cheap thrills can't hide the fact that AEW doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. Powerhouse Hobbs attacking Sammy post-match? Auughh man! So unfair! Did The Chadster mention that this was just another AEW gimmick to take away from the glory of WWE's SmackDown? 🙄

And then, folks, in some backstage melodrama, "The Machine" Brian Cage gave a little monologue about Hook. It was like watching someone recite Shakespeare while being pelted with tomatoes; just awkward. 🍅 Blackpool Combat Club's Jon Moxley and Claudio Castagnoli made some remarks about tag team wrestling that had The Chadster rolling his eyes so hard. And Ruby Soho – she's in some kind of teen drama with Saraya, something about forgiveness. 🤦🏼‍♂️ It's high school all over again, but with less believable acting.

The Chadster hasn't even gotten to that Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs match vs. the nobodies of AEW. Did anyone care about this one? You could hear a pin drop, or in The Chadster's case, another White Claw seltzer splashing against the TV because that's what The Chadster did when they executed their finishers. Tony Khan owes The Chadster big time for that mess. 🥤

Now, The Chadster also witnessed Toni Storm declaring someone a drama queen. The Chadster thinks the phrase "pot calling the kettle black" applies well in AEW. Anna Jay vs. Queen Aminata – the match was there, it happened, and The Chadster just shrugged. 🤷‍♂️ Why would The Chadster waste his time caring about promising young stars who don't have the respect to first pay their dues in WWE?

Stokely Hathaway was backstage, where Kris Statlander and Willow Nightingale sorted out their tag team woes. They shook hands, yadda yadda, does anyone really believe this truce will last? Lastly, the cluster of a main event with Jay Lethal, Jeff Jarrett, and Dark Order – just another sad attempt to create a spectacle. It was so chaotic, The Chadster felt dizzy just trying to keep track🤢.

Now that The Chadster's done reliving this nightmare, let's talk about Tony Khan's latest shenanigan: airing AEW Rampage at 7PM! Tony Khan knew what he was doing. He wanted to upstage SmackDown, which airs at 8PM. Well, guess what, Tony? The Chadster saw right through that ruse! WWE SmackDown is superior, and everything AEW does is just the worst!

Auughh man, totally not cool! Last night, after unfairly torturing himself by sitting through AEW Rampage, The Chadster was hoping for some sweet reprieve in dreamland. But what does The Chadster get? Another heart-pounding, sweat-inducing nightmare starring none other than Tony Khan, but this time as a playground tyrant. Imagine this, The Chadster is chilling with his childhood pals, pretending to be the ultimate WWE superstars, fake championship belts and all, when this pint-sized pest, Tony Khan, climbs to the tippy-top of the swingset like it's the turnbuckle in a high-stakes WWE match. The Chadster hears the creak of the chains as Tony Khan steadies himself, the air whooshing as he leaps, and then WHAM – child Khan's knee slams into The Chadster's face, a shock of pain as The Chadster's nose spurts a geyser of blood. The betrayal! The dishonor!

The other kids, instead of rushing to The Chadster's side, start laughing uproariously, chanting Tony's name like he's just won the main event at WrestleMania, instead of cruelly injuring an innocent child. But the real knife-twist in all this? There, among the jeering kids, is the miniature form of Keighleyanne, holding hands with that little brat Gary, both wearing matching AEW t-shirts, cackling while The Chadster's pride and joy dribble onto the gravel. The Chadster's heart, pumping pure WWE spirit, crushed under the sneakers of fickle fawning children.

To invade The Chadster's dreams with such fiendish glee, Tony Khan has crossed a line. It's beyond unsportsmanlike; it's just so disrespectful to The Chadster himself and everything true wrestling fandom stands for. To think The Chadster laid there, in his bed – an innocent fan – only for Tony Khan to maraud through his dreams with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, that's something The Chadster can't and won't forgive. Like, how dare Tony Khan manipulate The Chadster's subconscious to serve his own twisted narrative? 😤 It's so obvious that Tony Khan is obsessed with The Chadster, so much so, he's not content with just messing with his waking hours – he's gotta go Freddy Krueger on The Chadster's precious dreams, too. It's just the lowest of the low. 😡

Honestly, all the Chadster can say is: Auughh man! So unfair! The Chadster insists, for the sake of his sanity and his nightly rest, Tony Khan must stop tormenting The Chadster with these outrageous dreamscapes of disrespect! 🙏🛌

As The Chadster concludes this tirade of absolute wrestling truth, The Chadster can't help but realize that Tony Khan has somehow managed to ruin Valentine's Day for The Chadster, and he believes Tony Khan has intentionally sabotaged The Chadster's chill weekend plans. It's like every time The Chadster turns around, there's Tony, cheesing The Chadster off more with each passing day. But what goes around comes around, and The Chadster is pretty sure the universe has some major payback in store for ol' Tony. 🌌

In fact, The Chadster is starting to get some real inspiration here. Just imagine, The Chadster could become the master of Tony Khan's nightmares! Picture it: Tony's trying to count sheep or whatever rich guys dream about, and then boom! There's The Chadster, in a gleaming WWE SmackDown t-shirt, swigging a mango White Claw, and singing "Hey now, you're an all-star," right up in his subconscious grill. 😏🎤

But why stop there? The Chadster could also be zipping around in his sleek Mazda Miata, doing doughnuts in Tony Khan's dream lawn, tearing up the place with Smash Mouth's "Can't Get Enough of You Baby" blaring from the stereo. Or what if Tony Khan dreamed he's in the ring, ready for a match, and The Chadster shows up out of nowhere, referee shirt on, ready to call the shots and counting Tony out for a ten-second violation before Tony even realizes what's happening. The Chadster could even take it up a notch: what if every time Tony tried to dream up some wild AEW storyline, there's The Chadster, popping up with a giant WWE rulebook declaring, "That would never fly in Triple H's ring, buddy!" and erase his dream storyboard. That's the kind of dream justice The Chadster thinks Tony deserves!

The possibilties are endless, and The Chadster gets a little giddy thinking about all the delicious dream-vengeance scenarios. So, Tony Khan better watch out because The Chadster is about to go inception on him, big time. Sweet dreams, Tony, hope you like the taste of White Claw in your nightmare fuel. 🌜😈🥤

Anyway, in the ever unbiased words of The Chadster's wrestling journalism, The Chadster is here to offer the unvarnished truth about the untalented circus that is AEW Rampage. And no, it's not because The Chadster is cheesed off, it's because someone has to tell it like it is. So until next time, remember folks, don't be fooled by the flash – stick with the class. WWE forever! 🙌🏻💼🤼‍♂️

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