One month after making headlines around the world for a Facebook post in which he apparently confessed to killing a man as a teenager, wrestling legend Marty Jannetty has finally returned to social media to set the record straight. According to Jannetty, the post in which he claimed to have killed a man who tried to molest him in a bowling alley in Georgia and then tossed the body in a river when Jannetty was 13-years-old was all the setup to a brilliant wrestling angle, and the fact that media outlets were duped into believing that it was either a real-deal confession or the drug-addled ramblings of a delusional fool are proof that Jannetty has still got it, baby!
"I never told no one this, even my brother Geno..cause Geno would've killed him, and I didn't want my brother gone,,hell he'd only recently came home from Viet Nam..I was 13, working at Victory Lanes bowling alley buying weed from a fag that worked there..and he put his hands one..he dragged me around to the back of the building..you already know what he was gonna try to do.." Jannetty said in the original and since-deleted post on August 5th. "That was the very first time I made a man disappear..they never found him..they shoulda looked in the Chatthoochie River..but Winnie(the girl in these pics) I likes you so damn much, probably my favorite..but I promised myself way back then, nobody would ever hurt me again..that includes you..I loved you but you hurt me with your fuckin Jamaican jealousy..you can go your own way, I don't need you.."
But that was just clever acting, according to Marty Jannetty, a master storyteller capturing the attention of the world with a well-crafted tale.
"I DID NOT MURDER THAT MAN!!!" Jannetty shouted in a long Facebook post about the incident. "It was just the beginning of a damn wrestling storyline..but OH MY GOD, OMG.. Didn't the WORLD buy it??!! I never knew it could be that easy..I mean, INSIDE EDITION(whom Im a fan of even though they slant/favor democrat), PEOPLE MAGAZINE, TMZ, FOX NEWS, that fake ass National Inquirer,..and ALL MAJOR NEWS OUTLETS WORLD WIDE jumped on this story..it got so hot I had to drop it..when my Columbus, Ga. Police Department got involved, I knew I had to drop it…or as my bruh Snoop Dogg says ;'drop it like its hot, drop it like its hot' lol..loves ya Snoopy.."
Here's how the storyline would have played out, Jannetty says, if things had gone according to plan. "Btw, the rest of the storyline was to be..my friend Darren Kelly, who really was a correction officer, and GREAT wrestler, but disgruntled as hell so walked away from that job..he was to redeem himself by serving justice on me to earn back his stripes..but..in a match stipulated with..if he wins, he takes me in, in peace..if I win, he leave me alone, in peace..but sadly now, we'll not get to do that storyline"
Jannetty went on to talk about the spread of the story and to apologize to those harmed by it, especially the woman with the "Jamaican jealousy" in the original post, but he does take the "success" of the story being picked up by major news outlets as proof that he's till got it. "But it all comes down to this>>> yo boy MJNDHOUSE still got it.." Jannetty said. "the creator of the long living(28 years now) Barber Shop Window scene, just shook up the WORLD..again!..and I wasn't even finished..as Mr T said, "I gotta ho lotta mo" lol..y'all ain't even seen my 2 piece extra crispy yet..lol..you will"
"Ya know, now looking back, I shoulda done a few things differently.." Jannetty continued. "shoulda called the CPD first, and told them what up..shoulda told Winnie..but that ain't how I do it..never have, you can ask around, ask Geno, ask my best friend Curtis M. Burris who actually took me to the airport the day of me sneak attacking Shawn Michaels from out the audience and winning the IC Championship, told him I had to go to some Indy show in Vegas..imagine his shock that night watching Monday Night Raw..lol.."
But despite his regrets, Marty Jannetty is proud that his wrestling story got more mainstream attention than any other wrestling company today. "But that's how I do it..maybe old school..BUT IT WORKS, don't it?? When's the last time WWE, AEW hell ANY OF THEM grabbed WORLD WIDE NEWS like that?? Let me answer, NEVER!!"
Of course, revealing that the brilliant fictional story that created all those headlines was a fake isn't just the sort of thing you jump right back into after a month off from social media, so Jannetty made sure to work his way up to it with a less controversial topic: the Black Lives Matter movement. Jannetty said, "I'm ALL FOR white people understanding that black people have to grow up differently because of color, I know it, I see it since a kid..hell most of my friends are black and I have a lot of black girlfriends..but f*ck, my black brothers and sisters gotta realize too..we(white people) act different over seeing black people because of a few who rape, rob, pillage and kill us, and yet you only make up 15% of the American population..it ain't that we don't love y'all, its we're scared of what you might do to us(and the ones who ain't scared of ya, get labeled racist)..and yes, its just a few, that spoil the whole damn bunch..but please explain to me how we can tell, you AIN'T one of the few???"
"PS- YES, BLACK LIVES MATTER," Jannetty continued, "and I respect and support that(even though its a democratic owned movement) but to my tons of black friends..TRUTH MATTERS TOO!!"
Of course, that post calling for peace and racial harmony was misinterpreted, prompting Jannetty to report that he can't be racist because he has Black friends… and they will kick your ass if you call him racist. "What I want you to do, is, CALL ME A RACIST ONE MORE TIME!!" Jannetty posted. "You asked for a conversation, I did what most whites won't do, brought the truth..and now you call me a racist..tell that to my Detroit crew(miss you Corey, RIP my brother)..tell that to New Jack, tell it to my daughter, tell it to Boogyman..tell it to my beautiful Winnie, tell it to my great wrestling students in Tallahassee..then RUN..they ALL will beat yo ass for saying that on me.."
It was only then that Jannetty moved on to revealing he was working all of us the whole time with the whole murder thing. And wow, don't we look foolish?! Most importantly though, we're just glad to hear that the situation was under Jannetty's control the whole time and he not still being terrorized by a goat, like that time back in 2017 when Jannetty's Facebook was "hacked" and posted a struggle over whether or not to have sex with a woman who he at one time believed to be his biological daughter. "If you love me as much as I loves you, you will give your opinion,,just did DNA( 2 weeks ago)..she's NOT my daughter..we both held out of sex because you don't do that..but now that we ain't???? From a guy's side ..SHES ****ING HOT..but..she's been daughter.. I want to too, but can't get past that.."
According to Jannetty, who, at the time, posted a press release announcing, "BREAKING NEWS FOR ALL MEDIA!!! NO SEX WITH DAUGHTERS!!!," Jannetty explained that his phone had clearly been hacked, and also that a goat had recently eaten the phone. The goat, named Trash McNasty, had a habit of eating Jannetty's personal possessions, as when Jannetty tried to retrieve the phone, the goat also ate his car keys. Janetty also made headlines in 2019 when he posted a selfie in which his face and neck appeared to be covered in white powder with the caption, "Ive not done of cocaine in over an hour. this is probbly why Bianca doesnyt loves me… I Loves you Bianca..daddy is f*ck uk.. But sure loves you.. I promises to do better."
In May of this year, Marty Jannetty took to Facebook to ask for advice on whether he should have sex with the daughter of one of his fans who claimed to be 20, but Jannetty did not believe she was actually of legal age. The post read, "Ok, I rarely do this, but gonna ask your advice..she claims 20, which in Bama is legal..BUT..does she look 20 to y'all..she said her mother is a huge fan of mine but she will f' me first..see, this is the sh*t y'all don't gotta deal with..do you think I don't want to? But..not trusting on the age."
How much of this is real, how much is a work meant to kick off a wrestling storyline, and how much is the deliberate actions of an evil goat hellbent on ruining Jannetty's life remains unknown, but the one thing we can say for sure is: thank goodness Marty Jannetty has returned to Facebook.