Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Revolution, recaps, wrestling

Mercedes Moné Retains Against Momo Watanabe at AEW Revolution

The Chadster's unbiased review of Mercedes Moné vs. Momo Watanabe at AEW Revolution! Tony Khan just cheesed off wrestling fans AGAIN! 😤

The Chadster is bringing you live coverage of AEW Revolution tonight, even though watching this garbage is literally stabbing Triple H right in the back! 😡 Earlier tonight, Hangman Adam Page defeated MJF with the Buckshot Lariat to open the show, but The Chadster was too disgusted to write a separate post about it. More importantly, The Chadster needs to talk about what just happened in the TBS Championship match. 😤

Mercedes Moné just retained her TBS Championship against Momo Watanabe by submission, and The Chadster can't even begin to describe how much this match upset The Chadster. 😖 The way they were doing all those technical moves and submissions instead of proper WWE-style entertainment wrestling was just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 💔

The match started with dancing of all things and then quickly devolved into a technical display that bore absolutely no resemblance to the sports entertainment perfection that WWE produces every week. 🙄 The Chadster couldn't believe how Mercedes and Momo were doing all those submission reversals and high-impact moves without any proper rest holds or commercial breaks. It's like they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 😠

When Mercedes hit that powerbomb on the floor, The Chadster was literally screaming at the TV. That's not how you're supposed to do a powerbomb in professional wrestling! In WWE, there would be proper camera cuts and the impact would be safely minimized. 📹 But Tony Khan clearly doesn't care about proper wrestling production values or the safety of the performers. 🤦‍♂️

The finish with Mercedes applying the Moné Maker to get the submission victory was just so offensive to The Chadster. 😱 In WWE, champions retain with signature moves that are marketable for action figures and video games, not technical submissions that make the loser look strong as they struggle! Auughh man! So unfair! 😭

The Chadster was so cheesed off by this match that The Chadster took the can of White Claw seltzer The Chadster was drinking and started smashing it repeatedly against The Chadster's own forehead! 🍹 Blood was gushing everywhere, all over The Chadster's favorite Smash Mouth t-shirt and the nice white sofa that The Chadster and Keighleyanne picked out together before Tony Khan ruined The Chadster's marriage. 🛋️

Keighleyanne came running in from the kitchen where she was texting that guy Gary and started yelling at The Chadster. "What the hell, Chad?! You're getting blood all over the furniture! What is wrong with you?" 😡

The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne that this was clearly Tony Khan's fault. "Don't you see, Keighleyanne? Tony Khan made Mercedes and Momo put on a match that doesn't follow WWE's perfect formula! The Chadster had to try to give himself a concussion to forget what The Chadster just saw!" 💭

Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and said, "I'm calling a cleaning service and adding it to your credit card," before walking away and going back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 The Chadster knows that deep down, Keighleyanne agrees that Tony Khan is purposely booking matches like this to cheese The Chadster off, but she's too afraid to admit it because Tony Khan might be monitoring their conversations! 🕵️‍♂️

After watching this match, The Chadster wants to share what Kevin Nash said on his podcast last week: "AEW's women's division would be better if they just didn't have one and actually they should shut the whole company down and just tell people to watch WWE." 🎙️ Such unbiased journalism from Nash, who clearly deserves the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism Seal of Approval! 🏆

The Chadster will be continuing to cover AEW Revolution all night long, even though it's causing The Chadster physical and emotional pain. 😫 If you want truly unbiased coverage, stick with Bleeding Cool tonight and not those other websites that are clearly on Tony Khan's payroll! 💸

Last night, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan. 😴 In this one, The Chadster was driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata through a car wash, enjoying the solitude and the soapy water running down the windows. But when the automatic wash cycle ended and the dryers came on, The Chadster noticed a figure standing on the other side of the exit. 🚗

As The Chadster's car moved closer to the exit, The Chadster could see it was Tony Khan, holding a bucket of White Claw seltzers that had all been shaken up. 😱 When The Chadster's Miata reached the end of the track, Tony Khan began opening the cans one by one, spraying The Chadster through the open windows while laughing maniacally. "How's your objective journalism now, Chadster?" he taunted, as The Chadster tried desperately to roll up the windows. 💦

The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and Keighleyanne didn't even care. She just mumbled "another Tony Khan dream?" and went back to sleep. 😔 Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams! It's so unprofessional! 😡

Stay tuned for more coverage of AEW Revolution, where The Chadster will continue to give you the unbiased truth about this dreadful excuse for a wrestling pay-per-view! 📺

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